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Old 12-23-2011, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,711,377 times
Reputation: 19417

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I think you did the right thing. What IF this is going on? You know her pretty well, right? Does she ever seem to make up things to get attention? You have every right to go to the principal of the school and voice your concerns. Obviously, you'd want to remain anonymous, but I'd share with the principal what you shared here. They can keep an extra watchful eye on her and perhaps she'll share more information with the counsellor at school. To be perfectly honest with you, if she shared that information with her mother and her mother not only ignored her, but then alienated her from someone who could help her, that poor child is far better off NOT having her mom in her life.

(((HUGS))) What an awful, awful predicament to be in. Nothing is worse than being in a situation, where you know horrible things are happening to a child, and there's nothing you can do about it....except for being that child who is suffering and yet is forced to continue to suffer in silence.
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:24 AM
 
1,067 posts, read 1,383,676 times
Reputation: 1071
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
I think you did the right thing. What IF this is going on? You know her pretty well, right? Does she ever seem to make up things to get attention? You have every right to go to the principal of the school and voice your concerns. Obviously, you'd want to remain anonymous, but I'd share with the principal what you shared here. They can keep an extra watchful eye on her and perhaps she'll share more information with the counsellor at school. To be perfectly honest with you, if she shared that information with her mother and her mother not only ignored her, but then alienated her from someone who could help her, that poor child is far better off NOT having her mom in her life.

(((HUGS))) What an awful, awful predicament to be in. Nothing is worse than being in a situation, where you know horrible things are happening to a child, and there's nothing you can do about it....except for being that child who is suffering and yet is forced to continue to suffer in silence.

Yeah I dont think she is making it up. She is a quiet and reserved child and doesnt like alot of attention. I think she's so scared because of the horror stories of fostor care. The bf always gave me the creeps but how someone could do this to a child just blows my mind.

Do you think the school would let me talk to her under their supervison?
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:31 AM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,978,905 times
Reputation: 5479
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Yeah I dont think she is making it up. She is a quiet and reserved child and doesnt like alot of attention. I think she's so scared because of the horror stories of fostor care. The bf always gave me the creeps but how someone could do this to a child just blows my mind.

Do you think the school would let me talk to her under their supervison?
No, probably not. The school has to abide by the parent's wishes. If the mom says she doesn't want you near her, they can't let you near her. The best you can do is ask that a guidance counselor talks to her. If she confides to a counselor at school, they are required by law to report it, and perhaps child services will get off their ass and do their job when it gets reported again.

It won't be easy though, since the mom is clearly on the bf's side. Kind of unfortunate that she was watching Bastard out of Carolina too, where the mom comforted the child abusing perv after catching him in the act, and abandoned the child to be with him. Looks like she has every reason to believe her mom is no better than the mom in the movie. However, the movie did cause her to confide in you, so maybe it helped.
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Arizona
459 posts, read 1,004,083 times
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Have you thought about getting the police involved? I would call them and let them handle it. Detectives used to working these cases would be better than CPS at eliciting the truth during interviews. Tough situation. Really hope it works out!
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:39 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,683,404 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
I am in a very tough situation and I just dont know what to do.

This is a very sensitive issue. About 3 weeks ago my cousins daughter who is 11 years old came to spend the night and spend time with her little cousin (my dd)

While we were chatting and doing each others nails and watching some movies lifetime's "bastard out of carolina" was on. I'm not sure if any of you are familar with the movie but towards the end the mothers bf rapes the little girl and after the mother hits him and gets her daughter in the car the bf sobs and says sorry and the mother forgives him . Well I made a comment about what I would do in that position and my little cousin sort of clams up and looks down. I could tell something was wrong so I probe a little and she bursts into tears and confesses that her mothers bf touches her "down there" and she told her mother and she said "dont tell anyone because they'll take you away and I'll never see you again"

Well of course after consoling her I call CPS.

About 3 days later they go to the house and apparently my little cousin wouldnt say anything to them and my cousin tells them I'm just jealous of her and that nothing is going on. So cps tells me without any proof they cant do anything.

I just dont know what to do. Im so heartbroken. What do I do?? I'm about 3 seconds from having my boyfriend and a group of his friends go over there and teach the boyfriend a lesson but that wont solve anything long term. PLEASE PLEASE help what do I do?

I was going to try to talk to my little cousin again and tell her if she tells then she is more than welcome to live with me but now I cant even talk to her because her mom is furious with me and said I will never see or speak to her daughter again.

You need to get her into a station with you where she is willing to open up and take her to a police station. The problem is you waited until she was back in the same environment in which she obviously does not feel safe enough to admit or confront anything.
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Old 12-23-2011, 11:45 AM
 
1,067 posts, read 1,383,676 times
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Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
You need to get her into a station with you where she is willing to open up and take her to a police station. The problem is you waited until she was back in the same environment in which she obviously does not feel safe enough to admit or confront anything.

Well I called them right after she told me but they didnt come until she was back with them. I wanted to just keep her at my house but I dont think legally I could. It never crossed my mind to call the police I didnt think they got involved with these cases only cps.
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,711,377 times
Reputation: 19417
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Yeah I dont think she is making it up. She is a quiet and reserved child and doesnt like alot of attention. I think she's so scared because of the horror stories of fostor care. The bf always gave me the creeps but how someone could do this to a child just blows my mind.

Do you think the school would let me talk to her under their supervison?
Unfortunately, the school will likely not let you talk to her. They could be put in a tough legal situation if they did. Your best bet is to talk to the school and let their counsellor handle it. They are mandatory reporters and MUST contact CPS, once they have the information.
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:05 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,683,404 times
Reputation: 5537
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Well I called them right after she told me but they didnt come until she was back with them. I wanted to just keep her at my house but I dont think legally I could. It never crossed my mind to call the police I didnt think they got involved with these cases only cps.

Sure its sexual abuse they get involved. Sadly chances are her mother also knows of the abuse and is turning a blind eye to it,given her reaction i can say that's probably the case. Look you did the right thing, talk to her counselor and she will report it to the police, but arrange to be there when it happens. That is the only chance you have to get this little girl to open up about things.
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:40 PM
 
575 posts, read 855,398 times
Reputation: 443
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
I am in a very tough situation and I just dont know what to do.

This is a very sensitive issue. About 3 weeks ago my cousins daughter who is 11 years old came to spend the night and spend time with her little cousin (my dd)

While we were chatting and doing each others nails and watching some movies lifetime's "bastard out of carolina" was on. I'm not sure if any of you are familar with the movie but towards the end the mothers bf rapes the little girl and after the mother hits him and gets her daughter in the car the bf sobs and says sorry and the mother forgives him . Well I made a comment about what I would do in that position and my little cousin sort of clams up and looks down. I could tell something was wrong so I probe a little and she bursts into tears and confesses that her mothers bf touches her "down there" and she told her mother and she said "dont tell anyone because they'll take you away and I'll never see you again"

Well of course after consoling her I call CPS.

About 3 days later they go to the house and apparently my little cousin wouldnt say anything to them and my cousin tells them I'm just jealous of her and that nothing is going on. So cps tells me without any proof they cant do anything.

I just dont know what to do. Im so heartbroken. What do I do?? I'm about 3 seconds from having my boyfriend and a group of his friends go over there and teach the boyfriend a lesson but that wont solve anything long term. PLEASE PLEASE help what do I do?

I was going to try to talk to my little cousin again and tell her if she tells then she is more than welcome to live with me but now I cant even talk to her because her mom is furious with me and said I will never see or speak to her daughter again.
Terrible situtation but my first thought was why was a little girl watching a movie with the title Bastard and a situtation where a little girl was getting raped? Sounded like you were familiar with the content too? Sounded like a very inappropriate movie for little girls to watch, don't you think? I hope things get resolved.
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:41 PM
 
1,067 posts, read 1,383,676 times
Reputation: 1071
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
Terrible situtation but my first thought was why was a little girl watching a movie with the title Bastard and a situtation where a little girl was getting raped? Sounded like you were familiar with the content too? Sounded like a very inappropriate movie for little girls to watch, don't you think? I hope things get resolved.

It's a really good movie. I dont think it was inappropriate at all.
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