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Old 09-05-2008, 03:16 AM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
1,219 posts, read 2,062,927 times
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Wow I feel so much better, my son started a 4 to 5 yr old program and we have had notes and talks already also. Unfortunatly now he does not want to go back to school tomarrow>
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Old 09-05-2008, 06:30 AM
 
Location: Sugar Grove, IL
3,132 posts, read 7,331,221 times
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I am a firm believer in the reward system. talk to your son and explain how important it is to behave at school and listen to the teacher. It is a huge adjustment for little boys. I went through it, especially since I was home most of the time with them. I promised them if they were good, no notes, no time outs, etc. that on a day off, we would have our "special time" they could pick a place to go to lunch and maybe shop for their favorite action figure. some call it bribery, I call it incentive!!
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Old 09-05-2008, 09:52 AM
 
Location: coos bay oregon
2,096 posts, read 5,786,382 times
Reputation: 1188
;p;. Sgresident, I was just going to suggest that!!!!
Im all for reward charts!
Give it a try, cant hurt, eh? :O)
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Old 10-18-2008, 12:17 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,059 times
Reputation: 10
Unhappy My son is having problems too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by statefan View Post
So, my 5 year old son started kindergarten this past Monday, and he is having a difficult time getting in the swing of things. Up until now, he has always been at home with me, never in an organized classroom or around a lot of kids, mainly his older sister and neighborhood kids. I know he is a "mommy's boy" and I know he has a lot of energy. According to the teacher, he will not stay in his seat, he has hit other kids (he does not do this at home), and he generally will not listen. His teacher today asked me if I would be their "room mom". I do not know if my presence in the classroom would help or hurt him. Any suggestions?
Hi Statefan i am having the same problem with my son.He's one of the youngest kids in his kindergarten class and he never went to preschool.He's the sweetest kid at home and good with his younger sister but when he goes to school he doesn't pay attention or do his work unless the teacher makes him sit by her and yesterday he hit someone.He's very smart his teacher says he's very bright but is never focused.I feel really bad when i have to remind him everyday of how to act in class,somehow i feel like he's not ready for school yet.Thanks because now i know am not the only mom worried about this issue.
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Old 10-18-2008, 10:10 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 6,395,683 times
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Remember that five years old is very, very young. If the majority of children in his class went to preschool, they were already "trained" to sit down, be quiet, wait for instruction, etc. He's just learning all of that now.

I agree that giving him a few weeks or months to figure things out would be a good idea. If you're not opposed to it and if it's feasible for you to do so, I might even consider pulling him out and waiting until next year to let him start school. Putting off that sort of training for another year won't hurt, and in a year, he will be much more mature.

My daughter was a VERY immature 4-5 year old, but now that she's 5 1/2, I can see so much more maturity... don't get me wrong, she still sometimes has behavior issues, but for the most part, she's outgrown them. My son was also one of those kids who would run around the room instead of listening to the story at the library, but now he's definitely quite calm compared to his agemates. Time is the best "medicine" for this sort of thing.

Good luck!
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Old 10-20-2008, 09:43 AM
 
1,846 posts, read 1,408,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishmom View Post
First of all my SIL lives in Round Rock...what a small world!

I find with my 5 year old, (who is a handfull at home but was an angel in preschool) who also began traditional kindergarten this week that if I am in the classroom he is worse behaved. He went to a Montessori preschool and I used to volunteer there. Montessori isn't traditional in that the whole class doesn't do the same thing at the same time so there is a lot of movement in the class..and I think that helped his energy levels and his behavior. I did tell the new teacher to let me know if his good behavior at school changes to let me know right away. Since your little guy never went until 5 he is making a huge adjustment and may find your presence comforting and it may actually settle him. So I would try it and see. If his behavior is not better with you there then I am sure the teacher will not want to continue the situation anyway...so no problem. But in the meantime if he is slow to adjust and his behavior does not improve I would seek the advice of your pediatrician and possibly a behavior modification therapist for help. Good luck!
You are correct Montessori is not traditional and children have issues after they are switched to a more uniform classroom, sad really. I think if Montessori is your thing than it should be done, the thing I have always admired about Montessori is that this type of education allows for all learning styles to be succesful.
The downfall is that this does not prepare them for a traditional class setting.
My son had a hard time in the 3rd grade with his teacher, she was an Irish nun who had taught in catholic schools for years and years, she had a certain way of doing things and this was it.
She could not grasp the concept that children have different learning styles and enrgy levels and need to be treated individually. She stated that my son finished his work fast and then liked to draw and he fidgeted in his chair all the time.
It got to the point where one parent took her son out of the school and decided to home school her son until the year was over. I work so this was not an option for me, however I did set up an appointment with her.
I had asked how long the children were allowed to sit during periods of instruction? What materials were being discussed because other parents stated that their children were completing assignments early also.
I explained that my son was a kinesthetic learner that when he tapped his pencil on his desk as he worked or moved his leg is the way he absorbed what was being "taught" "I am the same way". I asked her if it was possible for her to send him to the bathroom when she noticed he was fidgeting so he could get a breath of fresh air and gain his bearings again.
I stated that when I was in college and taking psyc classes geared for young children some of these issues came up and the instructor stated that sometimes a break is needed in the classroom, i.e. have all the children get up and join in stretching excercises, it breaks the monotony and it gives them a chance to expel some energy.
I feel you need to keep ongoing contact with the teacher and help her understand that every child is the same.
Regarding being room mom, it all depends on what you feel is right, if you feel this will further hinder your son don't do it.
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Old 10-20-2008, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Purcell Trench
168 posts, read 385,411 times
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I agree here. I think your boy is very normal, considering the circumstances. In time, he'll settle down. Boys aren't as developed as girls at this age, IMO. And since he hasn't had any previous exposure to school environments, it's a tough transition for him. Sometimes time in Sunday school works well to help them acclimate to group settings. I think it's appropriate, maybe more so, than preschool settings, at least where I live where preschool is mostly just a bad group babysitting service. Montessori Method Schools, IMO, are the best kind of education system. I think they still start at three, don't they?
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Old 10-20-2008, 12:05 PM
 
Location: In a house
19,029 posts, read 13,444,005 times
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Both of my kids, one girl and one boy, started Montessori at 3 years old and went there until they started regular school at age 5. My son hated Montessori, he was a homebody and loved being at home with me. That was difficult for us both but since we lived in an area that was so rural my kids never had experience with other kids at that age and I felt it necessary for them to learn how to be more social and how to follow rules at a school. My daughter loved it and did quite well. They both had no problems going from Montessori school to regular school. Montessori school taught them to be "self-thinkers'. They were strict but also very caring.
My dad was a teacher of all grades in a one room public school. He use to say so many times that some boys just don't mature as fast as some girls and should not be made to start school until they were ready...not only for the child but for the teacher. I saw and understood what he was saying by watching my son. He did grow out of his misbehaving and became a well adjusted adult. It took a lot of patience but it was well worth it all!
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Old 10-20-2008, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,310 posts, read 20,734,085 times
Reputation: 6634
Quote:
Originally Posted by statefan View Post
So, my 5 year old son started kindergarten this past Monday, and he is having a difficult time getting in the swing of things. Up until now, he has always been at home with me, never in an organized classroom or around a lot of kids, mainly his older sister and neighborhood kids. I know he is a "mommy's boy" and I know he has a lot of energy. According to the teacher, he will not stay in his seat, he has hit other kids (he does not do this at home), and he generally will not listen. His teacher today asked me if I would be their "room mom". I do not know if my presence in the classroom would help or hurt him. Any suggestions?
He sounds naturally dominant. I doubt there will be a quick fix. Watch a few episodes of the Dog Whisperer for some ideas. (j/k)

You can't ignore this, but you have to remember he's just a little boy and little boys are not born with manners. His teacher may be on to something. If you can be there to correct him in a group of his peers he may get the idea about manners more quickly. Just my $0.02.
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Old 10-20-2008, 07:09 PM
 
1,846 posts, read 1,408,684 times
Reputation: 2443
Quote:
Originally Posted by statefan View Post
So, my 5 year old son started kindergarten this past Monday, and he is having a difficult time getting in the swing of things. Up until now, he has always been at home with me, never in an organized classroom or around a lot of kids, mainly his older sister and neighborhood kids. I know he is a "mommy's boy" and I know he has a lot of energy. According to the teacher, he will not stay in his seat, he has hit other kids (he does not do this at home), and he generally will not listen. His teacher today asked me if I would be their "room mom". I do not know if my presence in the classroom would help or hurt him. Any suggestions?
I have posted on this thread once but I will address you directly. Your son is acting well within the normal range of behaviors for a child that has no experience in a group setting set up with distinct rules and order.
Again children vary in temperaments, energy levels and learning styles.
You seem to be very understanding and you have stated that your son is not violent by nature and plays well with others, now you haveto get down to his level and see things from his perspective.
1. He has never been in preschool or any other daycare setting with rules and order.
2. He has never been made to sit several hours before a break is given
3.The fact that his class probably is the biggest group setting he has been in he is probably having sensory overload
The fact that in kinder the concept of "Sit still" "Be attentive" "Stop fidegeting" are hard copncepts to grasp for same children that are kinesthetic learners this is torture since for these types moving around tapping or moving is there way of absorbing material.
The hitting may be resulting from in your face kids and he may have a spatial issue, not everybody deals well with people that invade their personal bubble. I as an adult cannot stand people that get all up in my face I need arms length contact and this is me, your son may not like this either.
There are many factors to consider as to why your child may be exhibiting this type of behavior.
I would consider speaking to the teacher and going over some of these factors.
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