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Old 12-27-2011, 11:02 AM
 
2,763 posts, read 4,436,417 times
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I will preface this by saying I am a huge carseat nut. My son will be rearfacing for a long time, and he's so short and skinny, that it will probably be until he's 2 or 3. We have one of the highest safety rated carseats that is out there, but I know not everyone can afford that kind of seat, so I dont judge people who buy the cheaper seats.

My sister in law (C) has a 10 month old son. She lives in Texas, where the car seat laws state they must be rear facing until 1 year old AND 20 lbs. The child is 20 lbs or over. She recently posted a picture on facebook where the child was very obviously not strapped in (his legs were hanging over the side of the carseat) and he was forward facing. My mother in law was going to talk to her about it, but my other sister in law (K) jumped in and commented how that was dangerous and long story short, a bit of drama ensued.

I talked to sister in law K today, and she said the other day, the child's father came to pick up the 10 month old from grandmas house and noticed that the car seat was IN THE FRONT SEAT and forward facing. Now, technically this CAN be legal *IF* you can disable the air bags AND if the child could legally forward face (which he cannot). They have an older model car, so there is no option to disable the air bags.

I feel so frustrated. I'm in Florida, so there's not much I can do, but it tears me up that my nephew could die because of their negligence. They are of that parental mindset that "I do right by my child so you should mind your own business" and that they can do no wrong. If you mention to them that they ARE wrong, they just ignore you because they are all mighty "DO NO WRONG" type of people.

So, should I just ignore this and move on and just keep hoping my nephew lives?? I have no idea how to approach this kind of issue.
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Old 12-27-2011, 11:06 AM
 
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Actually, if you talk to any doctor or person in the know, the time to turn them to front facing is not by any real weight or age standard but it is when their feet touch the seat while rear facing. If that child is already 20 lbs at 10 months, it may very well be safer to have him forward facing.
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Old 12-27-2011, 11:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
Actually, if you talk to any doctor or person in the know, the time to turn them to front facing is not by any real weight or age standard but it is when their feet touch the seat while rear facing. If that child is already 20 lbs at 10 months, it may very well be safer to have him forward facing.
Unfortunately that is far from correct. It is FAR safer to keep them rear facing even if their feet touch. A broken leg is much better than internal decapitation.

Regardless of that, the LAW in texas states the minimum of 1 year before forward facing.

Edit to add: If you really feel forward facing is safe, watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc2zg...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8gU9zzCGA8
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:27 PM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,750,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
Actually, if you talk to any doctor or person in the know, the time to turn them to front facing is not by any real weight or age standard but it is when their feet touch the seat while rear facing. If that child is already 20 lbs at 10 months, it may very well be safer to have him forward facing.
That is not true. When mine were that young, it was the law and generally regarded as safe to turn them front facing at 1 year. It is now considered safer to face them backward until they are at least 2. I have never, ever heard a doctor say it was ok to turn them around under 1 year.

HealthyChildren.org - Car Safety Seats: Information for Families for 2011

"The AAP recommends that all infants should ride rear-facing starting with their first ride home from the hospital. All infants and toddlers should ride in a Rear-Facing Car Safety Seat until they are 2 years of age or until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seatís manufacturer."

Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat - Oh! - Evenflo - Babies "R" Us

This is similar to the convertible car seat we used. According to the AAP and the specs for this seat, the child should be rear-facing until they are 40 lbs. It has nothing to do with their feet touching.
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:31 PM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,750,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
I will preface this by saying I am a huge carseat nut. My son will be rearfacing for a long time, and he's so short and skinny, that it will probably be until he's 2 or 3. We have one of the highest safety rated carseats that is out there, but I know not everyone can afford that kind of seat, so I dont judge people who buy the cheaper seats.

My sister in law (C) has a 10 month old son. She lives in Texas, where the car seat laws state they must be rear facing until 1 year old AND 20 lbs. The child is 20 lbs or over. She recently posted a picture on facebook where the child was very obviously not strapped in (his legs were hanging over the side of the carseat) and he was forward facing. My mother in law was going to talk to her about it, but my other sister in law (K) jumped in and commented how that was dangerous and long story short, a bit of drama ensued.

I talked to sister in law K today, and she said the other day, the child's father came to pick up the 10 month old from grandmas house and noticed that the car seat was IN THE FRONT SEAT and forward facing. Now, technically this CAN be legal *IF* you can disable the air bags AND if the child could legally forward face (which he cannot). They have an older model car, so there is no option to disable the air bags.

I feel so frustrated. I'm in Florida, so there's not much I can do, but it tears me up that my nephew could die because of their negligence. They are of that parental mindset that "I do right by my child so you should mind your own business" and that they can do no wrong. If you mention to them that they ARE wrong, they just ignore you because they are all mighty "DO NO WRONG" type of people.

So, should I just ignore this and move on and just keep hoping my nephew lives?? I have no idea how to approach this kind of issue.
I think the safety of the child outweighs the hurt feelings or annoyance of the parents. Do you converse via e-mail? Could you e-mail them a link that explains the dangers of what they are doing?
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:34 PM
 
14,777 posts, read 34,525,274 times
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Either you mind your own business and do nothing and they will keep on doing what they want, or you can scream from the rooftops how stupid they are, get into a giant argument and they will keep on doing what they want. Fun choice.

I think your intentions are correct, but this is ultimately about choosing your battles. Obviously it is not a situation where they are uninformed, they just choose to listen to their own information or have decided to ignore the conflicting information they were given. It may ultimately come down to tragedy before people like that will change their mindset. At that point, you would be smug in your conviction if you had "told them so", but no one is really winning anything there.

So, my opinion would be to let it go, it's not worth the fight. Chances are your nephew will be just fine. Lord knows that if rear facing seats to 2 years old, 5 point harnesses until 5' tall and boosters until puberty were necessary for survival, none of us would be around. I do think it's stupid to take the kind of risks they are, but I also can't say I follow the teachings of the carseat cult to a "T".
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:40 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,346,221 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
They are of that parental mindset that "I do right by my child so you should mind your own business" and that they can do no wrong. If you mention to them that they ARE wrong, they just ignore you because they are all mighty "DO NO WRONG" type of people.
That paragraph makes me think they've got a lot of people nagging them and telling them what to do. Are you guilty? Have you "mentioned to them that they ARE wrong"?

Sorry but if people have been riding them and telling them what to do you are not going to get through to them. No one likes to be nagged by someone else who thinks they know better. Fact of life.
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:42 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rezfreak View Post
Regardless of that, the LAW in texas states the minimum of 1 year before forward facing.
If we're talking safety, let's focus only on safety. Let's stop focusing so much on the law in Texas because laws can be wrong.

IMO size is more important than age. My children were born 11lbs and 12lbs and spent most of their lives in the 99th percentile. By age one they looked two. By age one other people's children can look 6 months old. The bolded part of the quote in Kibbie's post validates my feelings about this. I also strongly believe that smaller children should stay in a car seat longer than their age too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
"The AAP recommends that all infants should ride rear-facing starting with their first ride home from the hospital. All infants and toddlers should ride in a Rear-Facing Car Safety Seat until they are 2 years of age or until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seat’s manufacturer."
The reality is that some kids become too big for their car seats before a certain age.
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:43 PM
 
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We flipped BabyGirl at about 16 months. I would have preferred to keep her rear-facing but she was just too tall - even in a Britax which is supposed to be one of the better carseats for taller children.

I'm sorry that your SIL and BIL aren't more receptive to suggestions but it doens't sound like they are going to change on this issue

When we lived in Japan - we frequently saw children in no car seats, either in mom's arms in the front seat or jumping around inside the car... We wer told that the belief there is that the safest place for a child is in his/her mother's arms
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Old 12-27-2011, 12:48 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
That paragraph makes me think they've got a lot of people nagging them and telling them what to do. Are you guilty? Have you "mentioned to them that they ARE wrong"?

Sorry but if people have been riding them and telling them what to do you are not going to get through to them. No one likes to be nagged by someone else who thinks they know better. Fact of life.
Once people become parents everyone makes it their business.
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