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When I was 14 I joined the American Idol forum and next thing I knew, I was talking to all these people. I knew they were adults because they had their ages in their profiles, but I did not disclose my age because I didn't want people going after me. Anyway, the people on the board just assumed I was an adult and we all chatted daily for at least 2 months before it came out that I was only 14! What I gained by that was I proved myself before they knew my age. And they proved themselves...obviously they weren't creeps seeking out young girls. Since learning my age, a few have backed off. This is where I'm confused, why do you think age plays such a huge role in our society? I mean clearly they liked "me" and my personality because they talked to me for all that time. Yet learning that tiny little number that represents the # of years I've been on this earth for, all of a sudden changed things. I feel like people get too caught up on numbers. If you like the person, be their friend
I do understand there are predators out there, yet there are also plenty of normal people. I'm very careful about who I talk to; I've been in situations where I decided to stop talking to certain people, but for the most part, I think it's actually healthy for a teen to be friends with someone older. It's a great way to be friends with someone without having to deal with the usual teenage drama! I still have a few of my older friends, and I find that we have plenty to talk about. Actually, I think the age difference gives us even more to talk about because we are both curious as to what the other one is up to.
I could go on and on about this, but I'll stop there for now
When I was 14 I joined the American Idol forum and next thing I knew, I was talking to all these people. I knew they were adults because they had their ages in their profiles, but I did not disclose my age because I didn't want people going after me. Anyway, the people on the board just assumed I was an adult and we all chatted daily for at least 2 months before it came out that I was only 14! What I gained by that was I proved myself before they knew my age. And they proved themselves...obviously they weren't creeps seeking out young girls. Since learning my age, a few have backed off. This is where I'm confused, why do you think age plays such a huge role in our society? I mean clearly they liked "me" and my personality because they talked to me for all that time. Yet learning that tiny little number that represents the # of years I've been on this earth for, all of a sudden changed things. I feel like people get too caught up on numbers. If you like the person, be their friend
I do understand there are predators out there, yet there are also plenty of normal people. I'm very careful about who I talk to; I've been in situations where I decided to stop talking to certain people, but for the most part, I think it's actually healthy for a teen to be friends with someone older. It's a great way to be friends with someone without having to deal with the usual teenage drama! I still have a few of my older friends, and I find that we have plenty to talk about. Actually, I think the age difference gives us even more to talk about because we are both curious as to what the other one is up to.
I could go on and on about this, but I'll stop there for now
I agree with you!!!You're right, if you like the person, be their friend. And you said that the age difference gave you more to talk about, that's how I felt as well.
As I said before, in this day and age, there is so much ugliness that many of us become cynical. Maybe those adults didn't want to be perceived as predators by being too friendly with you.
I have a personal experience similar- but opposite. I was a member of a forum that discussed a certain popular television show for a few months- there were members from all over the world so I assumed some of the bad grammer was a language barrier. However, a thread was started that asked people's ages and I learned that most members were teens- ages 13-18. I never logged back in because I felt it was inappropriate to interact with children.
Well since they didn't know my age, they really just assumed I was older. I don't think that they were trying to cover up the fact that they were predators (since they weren't). I'm a language geek so if there's one thing I'm good at, it's grammar. So, my grammar did not give away my age
Do you feel okay with interacting with me then? LOL!
I probably would have backed off from talking to you as well because I would have felt it was strange. I'm sure I would have asked myself how I would feel if it were my daughter talking to adults online.
I say all that even knowing that it appears that all is well with the people you're talking to. It may be one of those things that only makes sense when you get older. Or it may never make sense.
One more thought. When I was a teenager, I was mature and responsible and could carry on a conversation with just about anyone. I also was naive, in the sense that I really did trust everyone and it never occurred to me that anyone would ever hurt me. As a result of that I got into a couple of scary situations. Thankfully, nothing really bad ever came of them. And I wouldn't even say that the situations came about because the other, older, people were bad, or predators, but only because we had different expectations regarding the relationship and situation.
Older neighbor meeting out by the mailbox and talking with my 14 year old son sure, same neighbor wanting to take him on a 3 day hike in the woods....dead neighbor.
Freaks are everywhere....good thing they talk about it more openly in school.
They probably knew that, since you're only 14, there are many things they wouldn't be able to discuss with you, because you're still so young. So they just sort of dropped out of sight....don't take it personally.
But there were also plenty of things we could talk about. In fact, at 14 I did have a job, so I shared the "work" thing. Obviously I couldn't relate to topics such as marital problems, but nobody really discussed those on the American Idol forum anyway
And just for the record...I'm not 14 anymore, I'm older than that.
One more thought. When I was a teenager, I was mature and responsible and could carry on a conversation with just about anyone. I also was naive, in the sense that I really did trust everyone and it never occurred to me that anyone would ever hurt me. As a result of that I got into a couple of scary situations. Thankfully, nothing really bad ever came of them. And I wouldn't even say that the situations came about because the other, older, people were bad, or predators, but only because we had different expectations regarding the relationship and situation.
So, again, be careful.
I can relate to what you said!
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