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Old 12-28-2011, 06:19 AM
 
604 posts, read 2,512,830 times
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I'm a Grandma who takes care of my twin granddaughters during the week while their parents work. The girls will be turning two next week. Over Christmas vacation, my daughter and her husband decided it was time for the binkies to go. They had two weeks to work on this as my daughter's a teacher and was going to be home the whole time.

The girls only used binkies at nap time and at night. One twin couldn't care less that it's gone. The other is more high strung and was finding the binkie helpful for winding down at sleep time. Two weeks later she's still having a hard time going to sleep without it.

The dilemma is that Grandma's afraid she's going to cave in when they come back next week and I start taking care of them again. This isn't really even an option. My daughter asked me to throw out any binkies still in the house (I haven't yet). I really want to support Mom and Dad in what they're trying to do, but I need help! I have a hard time listening to a crying, upset grandchild. So far, we've agreed on all the developmental steps and they've been implemented here during the week, but this one's going to be tough.

Anyone with binkie withdrawal experience that could help out a Grandma?
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Old 12-28-2011, 06:23 AM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,280 posts, read 4,035,547 times
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Throw them away now, so you won't be tempted!
Have some things handy which could act as pseudo-binkies, such as teething rings, carrot sticks etc.
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Old 12-28-2011, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
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Throw them away. As Penguin stated, having a couple of chewable toys is an option. Grandma, why would you cave? That crying isn't likely to go on for long, once that second twin realizes you're not going to cave. Please don't give in. That would be so unfair to their parents.
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:11 AM
 
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Thank you! I need to hear that. Substitutes aren't going to cut it. They're two and past the point of chewing on toys or teething rings. I think sucking on a binkie is what soothes her and gets her to sleep. Also, this is for nap time only so carrot sticks or anything they could choke on is out. I guess I'm worried because after two weeks, she's still pretty upset and not doing much better at going to sleep. She knows Mom and Dad aren't going to give her one, but it still takes her over half an hour to stop being upset and go to sleep.

I really appreciate all the Mommy opinions. Grandma needs to toughen up on this one!
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmarkey View Post
Thank you! I need to hear that. Substitutes aren't going to cut it. They're two and past the point of chewing on toys or teething rings. I think sucking on a binkie is what soothes her and gets her to sleep. Also, this is for nap time only so carrot sticks or anything they could choke on is out. I guess I'm worried because after two weeks, she's still pretty upset and not doing much better at going to sleep. She knows Mom and Dad aren't going to give her one, but it still takes her over half an hour to stop being upset and go to sleep.

I really appreciate all the Mommy opinions. Grandma needs to toughen up on this one!
LOL....looks like you're BOTH gonna have to toughen up on this one. She'll get past it...or find her thumb....or both! Lay them down for a nap and put some music on your ipod or other stereo headphones. Sometimes that crying can be awful! Hang in there gramma!
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,632,813 times
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are they or you showing her the thumb or two fingers to suck? In a pinch that might help. It's a hard time for everybody but nothing is more pathetic than a 3- 5 year old in the stroller with a pacifier. My own son would not take a binkie and I think he would have been a happier infant if he had one. He eventually found his 2 fingers and that worked for quite awhile. Good luck
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:48 AM
 
575 posts, read 849,291 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmarkey View Post
I'm a Grandma who takes care of my twin granddaughters during the week while their parents work. The girls will be turning two next week. Over Christmas vacation, my daughter and her husband decided it was time for the binkies to go. They had two weeks to work on this as my daughter's a teacher and was going to be home the whole time.

The girls only used binkies at nap time and at night. One twin couldn't care less that it's gone. The other is more high strung and was finding the binkie helpful for winding down at sleep time. Two weeks later she's still having a hard time going to sleep without it.

The dilemma is that Grandma's afraid she's going to cave in when they come back next week and I start taking care of them again. This isn't really even an option. My daughter asked me to throw out any binkies still in the house (I haven't yet). I really want to support Mom and Dad in what they're trying to do, but I need help! I have a hard time listening to a crying, upset grandchild. So far, we've agreed on all the developmental steps and they've been implemented here during the week, but this one's going to be tough.

Anyone with binkie withdrawal experience that could help out a Grandma?
Easy for the parent's to have this fall on you since you are home with them all day. As a mom, during vacation, this would have been my responsibility, not my parent's. Personally, I don't understand the rush to get rid of them? I kept my son's until he was a little over three getting ready for pre-school. He was old enough to understand what I was saying. I told him the trash man took them and they are gone now because he is a big boy and doesn't need it anymore. Not a peep about it from him and he just accepted what I said and moved on with no problems.
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:52 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 88,978,939 times
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Is there a blankie too? Or did they take the binki and the blankie away at the same time?

I remember when my sitter announced the she took the binki and blankie away. She told him they had been "run over by a truck." So without warning, I was left to deal with this. I didn't give the binki back, but I replaced the blanki with a new different type of blanki and said it was for sleeping only. (He dragged his old one around like Linus.) Anyways, it worked. Binki wasn't missed. New blanki wasn't carried around and was only used for sleeping. Maybe a blanki will work for you. Shot in the dark. Whatever you do, don't give in to that binki. Throw them away now!
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:56 AM
 
1,067 posts, read 1,377,160 times
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I'm with bbkeity, I dont see the harm in using one just to sleep. Dont let her walk around all day with it in her mouth but having one for a few minutes to fall asleep and them removing shouldnt hurt anything. Of course it's not your decision to make so maybe talk it over with mom and dad but Imho I dont see the harm in using a binky.
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Old 12-28-2011, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
Reputation: 19409
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbekity View Post
Easy for the parent's to have this fall on you since you are home with them all day. As a mom, during vacation, this would have been my responsibility, not my parent's. Personally, I don't understand the rush to get rid of them? I kept my son's until he was a little over three getting ready for pre-school. He was old enough to understand what I was saying. I told him the trash man took them and they are gone now because he is a big boy and doesn't need it anymore. Not a peep about it from him and he just accepted what I said and moved on with no problems.
I believe the OP said that the parents DID work on it through the holiday vacation. The issue isn't really whether it's appropriate or not. The issue is that the parents want it to stop. The OP is simply looking for support to keep her from giving in.

None of my 4 children ever wanted anything to do with a binkie. My daughter sucked her thumb until she was about 3 years old. My grandson used a binkie until his mom took it away at 2. He never missed it. Again, the OP is looking for support. Probably the last thing she needs right now is someone telling her that there's nothing wrong with giving her 2 yr old grandchild a binkie.

If you were a parent, who wanted to dc the binkie, you probably wouldn't appreciate her babysitting grandmother giving in and giving your child the binkie. I know it would tick me off and I might be looking for an alternative sitting arrangement.
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