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Old 01-03-2012, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Dallas
93 posts, read 94,893 times
Reputation: 106

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Crap, I didn't mean to write my daughter's name in the post - anyway to remove her name?
Thank you all for the advice, it's nice to get unbiased feedback.

Dew - I found some free legal clinics, so I will try to find some legal advice in that way.

One of my best friends had a crappy dad who forced her to spend summers and every other holiday with him and his new family. It was so miserable that by the time she was a teen she tried to run away when summers came. It really messed her up, she's never had a normal relationship and she's now an addict. My heart breaks for her and I wish she had better parents.

Every time I think of child support I think of her. Her selfish father and her helpless mother. I could use the child support, but if there is a way to ensure he has no rights to her then I will absolutely take that route.
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Old 01-03-2012, 11:12 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,548,102 times
Reputation: 30274
Quote:
Originally Posted by dimps88 View Post
Crap, I didn't mean to write my daughter's name in the post - anyway to remove her name?
I'll notify the mod for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dimps88 View Post
Every time I think of child support I think of her. Her selfish father and her helpless mother. I could use the child support, but if there is a way to ensure he has no rights to her then I will absolutely take that route.
People make the mistake of thinking that child support opens the door to parental rights. Even without paying child support, a father can go after visitation and/or custody. If a parent has visitation, that visitation isn't taken away if they stop paying child support. (Many parents like to think that they can keep children away from ex's who don't pay child support, but that's not true.)

The ONLY way you can avoid having him in her life is if you go after him for abandonment. That's the only reason to not collect child support because lack of payment along with other things can be proof of abandonment. But once you start court action for abandonment, it's a crap shoot because judges often give the abscent parent a chance if they say they want to be involved in the child's life. All he has to do is claim he didn't know or that you kept her from him and you'd lose the abandonment battle.

Oh, and you can only go for abandonment if you marry and your husband wants to adopt. The courts don't allow children to only have one parent---for welfare reasons they want two parents financially responsible in case one parent goes on welfare they can collect off of the other parent.

If you haven't gone to court for custody of your child, he can come along at anytime in the future and snatch her up. The police won't do anything because he's the father and you don't have custody. So you really aren't doing yourself a favor by avoiding court. You need the official order granting you full custody. Just having physical custody of her isn't good enough. It has to be done through court if you want the law on your side if anything happens.

This is just a long winded way of explaining that there are many factors you need to consider before you disregard going after child support. One way or another, you need to go to court. If you think going to court for full custody will open the door to his wanting visitation, you might as well go for child support if you don't want to take the risk of not seeking custody officially.

Last edited by Hopes; 01-03-2012 at 11:20 PM..
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