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When my grown kids were little I decided to start a few collections for them. Christmas decorations and nativity scenes come to mind. I was going to divvy these things up and send them on their way with some memories and family possessions.
Well son became atheist and daughter couldn't care less.
So now we have these 2 younger girls and I'm seeing it is a waste of space, money and time to try to save things for them as well.
For 40 years I have been hauling around my mother's "Good China", her crystal, her Hummel figurines etc and I"M SICK OF IT ALL. People don't entertain today like they did in her day and all her linen table cloths, china, bridge sets, etc are just a huge burden but I don't know how to get rid of it all. I've sold some on e bay, garage sales, etc but we still have way more than we should. I also have my MIL demitasse collection. Who in the world wants a demitasse collection?
So what I'm saying is if you want to buy something for your own enjoyment ---fine. But don't rationalize your purchases by saying "Someday the kids will want this" Chances are they don't want it either and we will all be doing ourselves and our kids a big favor by divesting ourselves of all this STUFF before we die. What a burden to leave for your children.
END OF RANT...can you tell I've been in the attic for 3 days?
LOL, I hear you sister!!
I also have divested myself of things, even the baby boxes were presented to each kid on their 21st Birthday to do with as they wish. I have a huge set of dinnerware from a grandparent my husband never knew and I am trying to get him to get it on ebay...
I think I'm uncommon among my generation (late 30's) in that I really like that kind of stuff. I paid more money than it was probably worth to have some of my grandma's furniture shipped out of state to my home because I wanted something of hers. I have some things from both of my grandmas that I value because they were theirs. I really wanted a formal dining room so I'd have some place to put all this stuff. I'm still waiting for a china cabinet, so almost all of my wedding gifts and grandmas' things are in boxes in the basement. Someday...
I also listened to my mom, and pictured the large holiday gatherings we used to have at my parents, and kept way too many crystal trays and things like that were wedding gifts. I really might try to sell some of it.
I do think that "less is more" though. I'd rather have 1 or 2 special items than a basement full of stuff. And I have to admit that the stuff from my family means more to me than the stuff from my husband's. His mom gave us a childhood's worth of hallmark ornaments that were from his grandparents. We have so much we can't use it all. they also seem to have bought every "first Christmas" ornament they could find for our wedding year, and both kids birth years. One would have been nice. 3 or 4 for each event is too much.
ETA having only boys, I'm already trying to mentally prepare for the fact that their wives may not ever want this stuff. I don't want to force it on anyone. Maybe I'll have granddaughters that will want it.
I think I'm uncommon among my generation (late 30's) in that I really like that kind of stuff. I paid more money than it was probably worth to have some of my grandma's furniture shipped out of state to my home because I wanted something of hers. I have some things from both of my grandmas that I value because they were theirs. I really wanted a formal dining room so I'd have some place to put all this stuff. I'm still waiting for a china cabinet, so almost all of my wedding gifts and grandmas' things are in boxes in the basement. Someday...
I also listened to my mom, and pictured the large holiday gatherings we used to have at my parents, and kept way too many crystal trays and things like that were wedding gifts. I really might try to sell some of it.
I do think that "less is more" though. I'd rather have 1 or 2 special items than a basement full of stuff. And I have to admit that the stuff from my family means more to me than the stuff from my husband's. His mom gave us a childhood's worth of hallmark ornaments that were from his grandparents. We have so much we can't use it all. they also seem to have bought every "first Christmas" ornament they could find for our wedding year, and both kids birth years. One would have been nice. 3 or 4 for each event is too much.
ETA having only boys, I'm already trying to mentally prepare for the fact that their wives may not ever want this stuff. I don't want to force it on anyone. Maybe I'll have granddaughters that will want it.
Your post about Christmas ornaments made me laugh. We have a lot, too. Now my great-grandmother didn't have a lot, and her ornaments were little paper things that we carefully preserve. OTOH, we have loads of other stuff. We just don't put it all on every year.
When your sons marry, talk to their wives. They may appreciate the sentimental value more than your sons. I'm basing this on having a daughter who is engaged to a guy from an all-boy family.
But what do we do with all this stuff? So many older folks are downsizing and moving into smaller quarters. They don't have room to store stuff. I think very few people spend their entire lives in one or two houses. It is expensive to move and store that stuff.
Younger folks are having to live with roommates longer, particularly in cities, while they climb the career ladder. We're pushing off buying houses because of the expense and the career mobility allowed by renting. In short - we don't have anywhere for it either!
I'm 24 and it stresses me out that my grandmother might pass away before I have the space for the family heirlooms! Let's face it - my roommates aren't going to want paintings of my great grandmother and other family photos, nor will they want all of the Judaica that she has collected. I can squeeze the Hummels and the Swarovsky's into a cabinet so that's less of a burden. In fact, I'm looking for an affordable curio cabinet now to slowly start taking things that my grandmother plans to leave me before sticky fingers step in.
I really want to keep these items in the family (and it kills me to think about it being sold at yard sales). I will also get much more from my mom including both my great grandmother and my mom's china, lots of Depression era glass, and other trinkets passed down.
On the other hand, all of the collections other people tried to start for me are sitting in my closet at my parents' house (that I haven't been to in almost a year and a half). It's the island of misfit shot glasses, spoons, collectible dolls, and horses. I have my own collection of elephants that I have pride in because I choose and bought them myself. I hope that my children and grandchildren would like them someday but that's not my motivation at all.
ETA having only boys, I'm already trying to mentally prepare for the fact that their wives may not ever want this stuff. I don't want to force it on anyone. Maybe I'll have granddaughters that will want it.
Kibs - I've thought about that as well. I have one niece I'm especially close to who has already told me she'd love to have the "girlie" stuff if there are no takers. In fact I've already started giving her things as birthday and Christmas presents and she's been as happy as can be. It's a win-win, IMO. (She's quite appreciative of the fact that we have a stunning lack of girl-children in the family. )
My MIL browbeat me into registering china when I got married. If she tries to give me hers or anyone else' I am going to scream.
If only it was dishwasher safe. That would make all the difference.
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
Younger folks are having to live with roommates longer, particularly in cities, while they climb the career ladder. We're pushing off buying houses because of the expense and the career mobility allowed by renting. In short - we don't have anywhere for it either!
I'm 24 and it stresses me out that my grandmother might pass away before I have the space for the family heirlooms! Let's face it - my roommates aren't going to want paintings of my great grandmother and other family photos, nor will they want all of the Judaica that she has collected. I can squeeze the Hummels and the Swarovsky's into a cabinet so that's less of a burden. In fact, I'm looking for an affordable curio cabinet now to slowly start taking things that my grandmother plans to leave me before sticky fingers step in.
I really want to keep these items in the family (and it kills me to think about it being sold at yard sales). I will also get much more from my mom including both my great grandmother and my mom's china, lots of Depression era glass, and other trinkets passed down.
On the other hand, all of the collections other people tried to start for me are sitting in my closet at my parents' house (that I haven't been to in almost a year and a half). It's the island of misfit shot glasses, spoons, collectible dolls, and horses. I have my own collection of elephants that I have pride in because I choose and bought them myself. I hope that my children and grandchildren would like them someday but that's not my motivation at all.
a lot of my stuff sat at my parents house for a long time. Some of it is still there.
An older family friend of my husband's passed away, and gave him 2 items from her pig collection. I thought that was nice. No one person was expected to take the whole collection, but several people who meant something to her each got a small part.
I think I'm uncommon among my generation (late 30's) in that I really like that kind of stuff. I paid more money than it was probably worth to have some of my grandma's furniture shipped out of state to my home because I wanted something of hers. I have some things from both of my grandmas that I value because they were theirs. I really wanted a formal dining room so I'd have some place to put all this stuff. I'm still waiting for a china cabinet, so almost all of my wedding gifts and grandmas' things are in boxes in the basement. Someday...
I also listened to my mom, and pictured the large holiday gatherings we used to have at my parents, and kept way too many crystal trays and things like that were wedding gifts. I really might try to sell some of it.
I do think that "less is more" though. I'd rather have 1 or 2 special items than a basement full of stuff. And I have to admit that the stuff from my family means more to me than the stuff from my husband's. His mom gave us a childhood's worth of hallmark ornaments that were from his grandparents. We have so much we can't use it all. they also seem to have bought every "first Christmas" ornament they could find for our wedding year, and both kids birth years. One would have been nice. 3 or 4 for each event is too much.
ETA having only boys, I'm already trying to mentally prepare for the fact that their wives may not ever want this stuff. I don't want to force it on anyone. Maybe I'll have granddaughters that will want it.
I would sugget that you start now and weed out multiples. At least those that are more than the number of your children. When you are in your 60's you will be glad that you did.
During my childhood, we moved at least every 2 years, my mom didn't start "collecting stuff" until my dad retired from the service. In contrast, my husband and I have been in our current house for almost 29 years. Our first furniture was from our grandparents, on both sides. I loved it then, and still have a few pieces. Over the years "stuff" became overwhelming, we needed more space. Loving our neighborhood, and not wanting to move, we remodeled and purged instead.
We did entertain a lot into our 50's but find it now more convienent to host at a resturant, and maybe have dessert at our house.
Good luck, you still have time to keep it under control.
I would sugget that you start now and weed out multiples. At least those that are more than the number of your children. When you are in your 60's you will be glad that you did.
During my childhood, we moved at least every 2 years, my mom didn't start "collecting stuff" until my dad retired from the service. In contrast, my husband and I have been in our current house for almost 29 years. Our first furniture was from our grandparents, on both sides. I loved it then, and still have a few pieces. Over the years "stuff" became overwhelming, we needed more space. Loving our neighborhood, and not wanting to move, we remodeled and purged instead.
We did entertain a lot into our 50's but find it now more convienent to host at a resturant, and maybe have dessert at our house.
Good luck, you still have time to keep it under control.
thanks! My parents have been in their house for 39 years! they've done some remodeling (not all at once like you), and keep calling to ask what to do with things. "I'm trying to save you from having to do this after we die!" my mom says!
On a similar topic, did anyone watch "Selling the Spelling Manor" on HGTV yesterday? Candy Spelling downsizing from 56,000 sf to a still huge place about 1/3 the size.
she had a 17,000 sf attic full of stuff to go through! She sold an entire doll collection and a collection of thousands of beanie babies among other things.
I have to say too that I am planning our retirement home with a good sized storage room in the basement with nice shelves to keep stuff on. I know when my mom wanted us to come 'get' the stuff she saved for us, we were still living in an apartment and NO WHERE to keep stuff. We now have plenty of room for that stuff but it is long gone. We have a similar storage room here and wise use of shelving means all of the stuff I am saving for the kids along with our own junk fits just fine in there. The room is about 12x12 (it was here when we bought the house). We added 3 levels of sturdy wooden shelves around the perimeter of the room that is deep enough to hold a Rubbermaid tote. I love those things.
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You are in your acumulation Phase
Candy Spelling downsizing from 56,000 sf to a still huge place about 1/3 the size. 
