U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-25-2012, 08:49 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,676,579 times
Reputation: 5537

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
I think all these kids that complain about not having the newest and best of something "like their friends" have not been taught that there are many more that have much much less. Are we sheltering our kids too much?

Why are we so surprised when kids show empathy and compassion about those with less? It is up to parents to teach their kids such things.

Such thoughts always come to mind whenever adults are discussing "presents".
I think it's normal to be a bit jealous over other people getting stuff you didn't. And that's not a fit all situation since my sister is spoiled during christmas, yet shows a lot of empathy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-25-2012, 11:22 AM
 
2,612 posts, read 4,610,624 times
Reputation: 3941
Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
I guess I don't understand parents that don't try to get their kids what they do want. You spent the same amount of money as you would buying Uggs so why not just get them. I think that alone is a valuable lesson they can learn. Instead of getting 8 presents (or whatever) they get one. Did you let her come with you to the store to help pick out the cell phone? If not, why not. Let them see the various prices, give them a budget (which with a cell phone can be zero quite easily) and let her pay for an upgrade if she wants. Our kids have had cell phones for quite a while and their last upgrade was the only phones we have actually spent money on, the rest were all free. I gave them that exact option, I will "pay" for a free phone, anything else you can pay for. After looking at the price tags, they opted for the free phones. Just because you are not buying them expensive things doesn't mean you are teaching them lessons about the value of money.

Also, wanting what everyone else has is NOT new to this generation, it is as old as man. When I was growing up it was Levi's corduroy jeans everyone wanted, then Jordche, then Izod....
I agree with this....unless you really can't afford it, which is a whole different thing than trying to "live modestly," then I can't understand not getting your child one or two things that they really want. Uggs and Khols are not the same, no matter how they look. Kids aren't exactly being materialistic when they want this brand or that - they are trying to fit in and be like everyone else. That's very important at certain ages. They are asking you to help them fit in, to not be made fun of or feel self-conscious. It isn't about the thing. If you can afford Uggs, then get Uggs. And I love the idea of taking the kid to the store and letting them choose, including looking at the price. It's one thing to have your parents buy you the cheap phone - another to decide on your own that the others are not worth the money.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 12:02 PM
 
15,812 posts, read 13,270,008 times
Reputation: 19712
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v View Post
I agree with this....unless you really can't afford it, which is a whole different thing than trying to "live modestly," then I can't understand not getting your child one or two things that they really want. Uggs and Khols are not the same, no matter how they look. Kids aren't exactly being materialistic when they want this brand or that - they are trying to fit in and be like everyone else. That's very important at certain ages. They are asking you to help them fit in, to not be made fun of or feel self-conscious. It isn't about the thing. If you can afford Uggs, then get Uggs. And I love the idea of taking the kid to the store and letting them choose, including looking at the price. It's one thing to have your parents buy you the cheap phone - another to decide on your own that the others are not worth the money.
Second the agreement.

Ultimately it can teach kids to be cautious shoppers and brand savvy. For example, Uggs (especially the old ones) really are longer lasting and of much better quality than knock offs. Meanwhile with exception of a few brands most non-designer jeans last just as long as the names.

My daughter was so enamored of name brands she would rather shop at consignment stores then brand new at old navy. And by the time she was 12 it was her choice. Lucky for me this has taught her the value of a buck. So when she asks for Uggs for Xmas, that's all she would ask for.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2012, 01:06 PM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,773,434 times
Reputation: 3110
Quote:
Originally Posted by marie5v View Post
I agree with this....unless you really can't afford it, which is a whole different thing than trying to "live modestly," then I can't understand not getting your child one or two things that they really want. Uggs and Khols are not the same, no matter how they look. Kids aren't exactly being materialistic when they want this brand or that - they are trying to fit in and be like everyone else. That's very important at certain ages. They are asking you to help them fit in, to not be made fun of or feel self-conscious. It isn't about the thing. If you can afford Uggs, then get Uggs. And I love the idea of taking the kid to the store and letting them choose, including looking at the price. It's one thing to have your parents buy you the cheap phone - another to decide on your own that the others are not worth the money.
And that's the wonderful thing about parenting. We all have our ideas of what is best for the family. There really isn't a "right" solution with anything. We all have our own styles do what we think best for our kids. I can tell you that things have gotten much better since we started giving the kids allowances. They have to work a bit for their money. If they see an expensive item in a store, they can purchase it. I usually meet them halfway but they get what they want (and earned) and feel proud of their purchase.

Merry Christmas and hope that Santa was good to you and your family.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-26-2012, 03:38 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,932,169 times
Reputation: 22174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linmora View Post
And that's the wonderful thing about parenting. We all have our ideas of what is best for the family. There really isn't a "right" solution with anything. We all have our own styles do what we think best for our kids. I can tell you that things have gotten much better since we started giving the kids allowances. They have to work a bit for their money. If they see an expensive item in a store, they can purchase it. I usually meet them halfway but they get what they want (and earned) and feel proud of their purchase.

Merry Christmas and hope that Santa was good to you and your family.
I agree with this -- parents need to do what they feel like doing when it comes to gifts. I always threaten before Christmas that we should convert to Judaism so they realize that not all families even do Christmas at all.

With parents, it's luck of the draw, if you end up with parents that don't want you to be into expensive and faddish brands -- then you can't expect they'll buy you expensive brands.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-26-2012, 10:25 PM
 
15,812 posts, read 13,270,008 times
Reputation: 19712
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
I agree with this -- parents need to do what they feel like doing when it comes to gifts. I always threaten before Christmas that we should convert to Judaism so they realize that not all families even do Christmas at all.

With parents, it's luck of the draw, if you end up with parents that don't want you to be into expensive and faddish brands -- then you can't expect they'll buy you expensive brands.
Uh, just so you are aware when you are using a particular religion as a threat, Judiasm celebrates Hanukkah with gifts, celebrations, good food, etc for eight days instead of just one. And while traditionally the gifts start small, by the end, Hanukkah provides just as much if not more material goods than christmas. I say this having been raised culturally both and seeing both celebrations for my entire life.

Go ahead, ask some jewish kids if they would give up Hanukkah for Christmas....they won't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-28-2012, 09:34 PM
 
Location: Happy in Utah
1,224 posts, read 2,948,543 times
Reputation: 901
My oldest is 9 we have taught him not to compare gifts with others, maybe its weird (its just the way I was taught). Instead we have tried to teach him to ask his friends, if they enjoyed their break from school.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-29-2012, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,383 posts, read 20,679,605 times
Reputation: 20420
This has happened to us a few years ago. We were very short on cash and couldn't get the kids what they truly wanted. I was heartbroken for my son when we went to the in-laws house and EVERY child that walked in had a brand new Nintendo DS (which is what he wanted).

He was upset and said "Mom I was good all year, why wouldn't Santa get me the one present I wanted?". It tore me to pieces, but I explained to him that he got other wonderful gifts he should be happy with. He did get over it after a bit, but it can be really tough.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top