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This makes no sense to me. You give your child gifts for Christmas. The COMPLAIN? And you don't tell them to stuff it up their entitled lilly white butt cheeks?
I'm not sure why parents get upset at other parents who spend more money or buy their kids frivolous ( in some people's view) things. It's a life lesson, someone is always going to have newer, nicer, more things. People have different priorities and spend their money different ways and really it's not your concern. That is nothing new to this generation, people have been trying to keep up with the Joneses forever, and kids are no different. How you handle it, will go further than complaining about other parents.
What boggles my mind are parents buying all this expensive stuff for their kids and then I start getting hounded by my daughter for the same stuff. This Christmas has been a bit rough since I don't think the kids appreciate what they do get. She almost had a fit when I didn't get her Uggs boots. We shopped at Kohls instead and got two identical looking pairs of boots (one black, one purple), an assortment of pre teen shirts---all for under $100 bucks. Not Uggs though--I must be a horrid mom.
After many months of debate, we finally got my daugther a cell phone so she could keep in contact with us for bus schedules, etc. Now she tells me that she is embarrassed at the phone we got her because it is not the latest and greatest. I offered to take it from her if it was so embarrassing. She declined.
Don't know but these self entitled attitudes really are bothering me lately. We try to live modestly in this family and impart the value of money, saving, not blowing everything on the latest and greatest. It has been a hard fight with today's generation and a bit depressing.
We have come close to losing EVERYTHING this past year, since we lost our home based business. Our income is about 30% of what it was previously.
I was so angry most of Christmas 2010... my children were acting entitled and selfishly. Christmas 2011 was a different story. We had only a very little to give them. We couldn't go and do like we had in years past, certainly couldn't keep up with the previous year. Honestly, I used the money we get from our parents for US (dh and I) to pay the overdue light bill, catch up the water bill and the rest of it was spent on buying gifts to the kids from us.
While it has been a difficult year (more than financially, we also lost 3 close family members and one beloved pet), I think our children have benefitted enormously from it.
So, my advice is to go broke... it really helps your children re-prioritize!
We know people who have more than us, and people who have less. So my kids see both sides of it...there's the family down the street whose kids have every electronic gadget ever made (and whose 9 year old has seen every r rated movie too, something which my 9 year old is not allowed), and there's the other family we know, who have five kids who live with them (including one with some serious special needs) and five who are older (it's a blended family) and each kid got one or two small presents and had to exchange whatever toys they got from relatives for store credit to buy clothes with. My kids are somewhere between the two. They each got $100 worth of stuff from Santa and then presents from their grandmas and their aunts. In our house, Santa doesn't bring clothes or boots, so if they want some particular piece of clothing, they ask one of the grandmas for it. This year they both wanted the Converse boots that go up to the knees, so each grandma bought one pair.
I will admit that I like it when they spend time with the kids who don't have as much, because then they know how lucky they are.
I let my kids know that their friends might get other things from Santa than they get and sometimes it is bigger and better but this just means that they can go over to their friends house and play with it-bottom line. My 6 year old said why did I get only 4 toys this year I should get more and I looked at him and said "some children don't even have food on the table this time of year we should be thankful for what we are given". This stops him right in his tracks-we are always trying and hoping even as adults that our children do better than us but we have to take things into perspective.
I did buy the older children a cell phone but it was to help with Dad being gone more and just me possibly going back to work since of unstable job condition. We as parents should not judge how or what the other parent does because you never know what is going on in the other person's life. Gotta get back to job searching.
We have come close to losing EVERYTHING this past year, since we lost our home based business. Our income is about 30% of what it was previously.
I was so angry most of Christmas 2010... my children were acting entitled and selfishly. Christmas 2011 was a different story. We had only a very little to give them. We couldn't go and do like we had in years past, certainly couldn't keep up with the previous year. Honestly, I used the money we get from our parents for US (dh and I) to pay the overdue light bill, catch up the water bill and the rest of it was spent on buying gifts to the kids from us.
While it has been a difficult year (more than financially, we also lost 3 close family members and one beloved pet), I think our children have benefitted enormously from it.
So, my advice is to go broke... it really helps your children re-prioritize!
LOL, totally agree! We ARE broke, and even though my dd is still quite young, I make sure she understands that everything costs money and we don't have much extra. My dd had her first lesson in being grateful not too long ago. She wanted some $45 dollar Sketcher shoes that light up. Her feet grow a mile a minute, and there is no way in hell I'm paying that much for shoes that she'll wear for a few months. I went to Payless and got some for about $20, also that light up. She complained once. That was the last time.
Even if I had the extra money to spend, I do not want to raise an entitled, spoiled kid who values material things above everything else. It's okay for kids to have nice things, when they appreciate it. If they don't, I sure wouldn't get them anything. Once when my dd complained about where we live, I drove her around and showed her places where some kids live who would LOVE to be in her shoes. Also make sure to watch those St. Jude and Feed the Children infomercials. It helps her go to bed that night absolutely grateful to have what she does.
My nephew who is 15 didnt get anything for xmas. He lives with his uncle but his mom has custody. HIs mom (my sister) is addicted to pain pills and blows all of her $ on that. She also has a 5 yo daughter. She got her stuff on xmas but not my nephew reasoning that since he was older he would understand. What kid understands not having one gift to unwrap xmas morning. I just found out and yesterday took him on an all out shopping spree. I got him about $400 in clothes and a case for his phone. When I tell you this kid was shocked thats an understatement. He was so happy to know that someone actually cared about him. It brought tears to my eyes. Mind you all I got was clothes and a case for the phone his basketball coach got him and he was estatic. I wanted to get him a game system or something but I knew his mom would just steal it and sell it. Sad.
The greatest lesson a child can learn during Christmas is the old saying "it's better to give than recieve".
Take them to a church or grocery store with a giving tree next holiday and tell them they can pick out one or two ornaments to help out kids that aren't as lucky to have gifts to open every Chirstmas like you. Tell them you'll spend as much on them as you guys spend on the charity gifts.
That will teach them a lesson much more effectively than saying she can't have the name brand boots then buying her things she doesn't want. When you were a kid and you asked your parents for something, were you pleased with the knock-off? I'm going to go out on a limb and say probably not.
Teach them that gifts are not the reason for Christmas, being kind and generous is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic
My nephew who is 15 didnt get anything for xmas. He lives with his uncle but his mom has custody. HIs mom (my sister) is addicted to pain pills and blows all of her $ on that. She also has a 5 yo daughter. She got her stuff on xmas but not my nephew reasoning that since he was older he would understand. What kid understands not having one gift to unwrap xmas morning. I just found out and yesterday took him on an all out shopping spree. I got him about $400 in clothes and a case for his phone. When I tell you this kid was shocked thats an understatement. He was so happy to know that someone actually cared about him. It brought tears to my eyes. Mind you all I got was clothes and a case for the phone his basketball coach got him and he was estatic. I wanted to get him a game system or something but I knew his mom would just steal it and sell it. Sad.
Sorry to burst the bubble but a drug addict can sell back $400 of clothes and shoes no differently as if they were to sell a $250 game system. I, unfortunately, have a mother that proved that quite effectively.
It's nice what you did for him, but let's not be naive.
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