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Old 01-09-2012, 09:58 PM
 
99 posts, read 56,821 times
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Smile When is it ok for Step Parent to be called Mom/Dad?

When if ever is it ok to have a child call step parent Mom/Dad? My wife and I dealt with this and have heard mixed reviews from diff friends and family members as to their take or belief on the matter.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:00 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
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It's ok when it works for the family..
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:03 PM
 
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My stepmom doesn't want me to call her mom, so I call her by her name, which she's happy for.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:13 PM
 
Location: SWUS
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I've always called my stepdad by his first name, since my dad is my dad.

That said, he is a "father figure" for sure.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:14 PM
 
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When it feels natural? Might be soon, might be never. Really depends on almost a limitless set of variables honestly. I'm biological, have 2 adopted brothers, and a few foster brothers and sisters growing up. Even have one foster sister, who since went back to her biological Mom, and even into adulthood, called both her foster and biological Mom, Mom. It really depends on everyone involved. Both Moms where cool with it. It worked. Both our families ended up being supportive of each other.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by docmac22 View Post
When if ever is it ok to have a child call step parent Mom/Dad? My wife and I dealt with this and have heard mixed reviews from diff friends and family members as to their take or belief on the matter.
It's only ever ok when the kid decides that's the name they want to call the step-parent by.

A parent or step-parent should NEVER be the one to insist this name be used.
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Old 01-09-2012, 10:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It's only ever ok when the kid decides that's the name they want to call the step-parent by.

A parent or step-parent should NEVER be the one to insist this name be used.
This. ^^ Exactly this.

Why anyone would consider anything other than that, is beyond me.
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Old 01-10-2012, 02:11 AM
 
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As a stepmother I think it's only if the same sex biological parent is 100% out of the picture.

My stepkids wanted (and did try many times) to call me mum. I was their fulltime stepmum from the ages of 2 and 3.
I never allowed it - it made me feel uncomfortable - they had a 'real' mum that they had contact with. I respected that.

That being said - as soon as their mum repartnered she immediately insisted they call her boyfriend dad.
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Old 01-10-2012, 03:38 AM
 
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I think that if the for example biological father is nowhere to be seen, and the step-father is taking on the role at it's full length then by all means he is the dad.

But if the child is frequently meeting the biological father I'd say name is more appropriate, to not upset the biological dad. Because let's face it, the end with a woman in hard but bearable, but if you feel like your own children substitute you for someone else, I think that would be a real spirit-killer.
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Old 01-10-2012, 05:13 AM
 
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When my stepsons were little they always called me by my first name. Now that they are grown, one has started calling me Momma K.

I think Loves Mountain gave you good advice. It isn't anyone's decision but the childs
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