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Old 01-11-2012, 04:27 PM
 
Location: On a Voyage Around the Sun
21,239 posts, read 11,761,624 times
Reputation: 22700
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
Yes, this thread has been a waste from the absolutely terrible advice I have received so far.
OK. So you have two sons who make the Tarleton twins look well behaved but OUR advice is "terrible"?

Got it.

 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:28 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 1,225,920 times
Reputation: 2017
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
Yes, this thread has been a waste from the absolutely terrible advice I have received so far. I can't believe that some people would be willing to be so rude to their kids. I guess no one has any idea what it is like to have adult children living with you. These are not teenagers.

This has been an extreme waste of my time and my wife's time. We will consult other outlets for our issues.
I am the sister of an adult child who was still living at home. She wasn't as disrespectful as your sons, but my parents knew that she had taken advantage long enough. They told her she had 30 days and then the locks were being changed. She called them on what she thought was a bluff. She came home one night and couldn't get into their house. She stayed with friends for a couple of weeks until she could find a place. Things were very tough for a while and she swore she hated them for what they did. Fast forward a few years and she is now thanking them for what they did. She now respects them too. She told us that she had no respect for them and would have stayed forever, but since they got tough with her, she went back to school and got a good job. She is doing great now and actually says it all leads back to that day.

My original post in this thread was posted because I have been involved in a somewhat similar situation and have seen how tough love can really help in the long run.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:33 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,978 posts, read 53,863,752 times
Reputation: 36655
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
Thank you, Dr. Phil. We are very aware that this didn't happen overnight. We just want them out of our house without involve the police, making our home unlivable, and leaving our home to our kids. This is not an unreasonable desire.
It doesn't take an expert like Dr. Phil to know that if grown sons have so little disregard and absolutely no respect for their parents, that asking the police to escort them out will be the only real option at this point.

This is indeed a sad state of affairs and were I a parent of such ingrates and *******s I would not be afraid to involve outside help.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:34 PM
 
67 posts, read 69,115 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
OK. So you have two sons who make the Tarleton twins look well behaved but OUR advice is "terrible"?

Got it.
You know nothing about my family. You do not "get it."
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,978 posts, read 53,863,752 times
Reputation: 36655
Quote:
Originally Posted by num1baby View Post
I am the sister of an adult child who was still living at home. She wasn't as disrespectful as your sons, but my parents knew that she had taken advantage long enough. They told her she had 30 days and then the locks were being changed. She called them on what she thought was a bluff. She came home one night and couldn't get into their house. She stayed with friends for a couple of weeks until she could find a place. Things were very tough for a while and she swore she hated them for what they did. Fast forward a few years and she is now thanking them for what they did. She now respects them too. She told us that she had no respect for them and would have stayed forever, but since they got tough with her, she went back to school and got a good job. She is doing great now and actually says it all leads back to that day.

My original post in this thread was posted because I have been involved in a somewhat similar situation and have seen how tough love can really help in the long run.

BINGO - tough love is the answer, and these grown "kids" are in sore need of it, for their own sakes, as well as for the parents sakes.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:36 PM
 
67 posts, read 69,115 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
It doesn't take an expert like Dr. Phil to know that if grown sons have so little disregard and absolutely no respect for their parents, that asking the police to escort them out will be the only real option at this point.

This is indeed a sad state of affairs and were I a parent of such ingrates and *******s I would not be afraid to involve outside help.
How dare you refer to my children as ingrates and *******s. We have inolved outside help. We prefer to handle this as a family unit.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
43,978 posts, read 53,863,752 times
Reputation: 36655
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
How dare you refer to my children as ingrates and *******s. We have inolved outside help. We prefer to handle this as a family unit.
I call a spade a spade - your sons ARE ingrates and ARE acting like *******s - for you to be so blind to that is a large part of your problem.

I am very glad you and your wife are in therapy, I hope it's more than just once a week as you need intensive and extensive help at this point.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:39 PM
 
Location: here
16,822 posts, read 13,577,103 times
Reputation: 13467
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
We don't tolerate them. We have kicked them out of our house multiple times.

This is not a joke. Our kids are ruining our lives.
Then why did you let them come back? you are allowing them to ruin your lives.

Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
We will not play mean games. We do not do that to our family members.
Nothing I suggested was a game. I suggested giving them 30 days, which is more generous than most other suggestions here, then changing the locks. How is that a game?

Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
Yes, this thread has been a waste from the absolutely terrible advice I have received so far. I can't believe that some people would be willing to be so rude to their kids. I guess no one has any idea what it is like to have adult children living with you. These are not teenagers.

This has been an extreme waste of my time and my wife's time. We will consult other outlets for our issues.
They are "ruining your lives" and you are worried about being rude to them!!?? they don't lift a finger around the house, they bring home random women, and you are worried about being rude to them? You've asked them to leave. They won't. What kind of advice did you expect to get?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post


The boy deserves one slap at least. You need to be a parent, not a Buddhist friend
Like I said it is VERY unlikely to happen in my house.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:42 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 1,726,021 times
Reputation: 1903
Quote:
Originally Posted by atl85 View Post
How dare you refer to my children as ingrates and *******s. We have inolved outside help. We prefer to handle this as a family unit.
But you are the ones who are telling us the things that they are doing WHICH PORTRAYS them this way? The title of the thread in which you posted it explains it all. You have not said a single good thing about them and we do get it, we do!


Maybe you do need Dr Phil to tell you exactly what we all have been saying along. I highly doubt he is going to pat your hand and say OOH keep doing what you are doing because it will work someday. It isn't working and being nice has not worked in your favor for a very long time.
 
Old 01-11-2012, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,193 posts, read 818,883 times
Reputation: 1708
Youre a push over call the cops and have them voluntarily removed.
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