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Old 01-18-2012, 02:17 PM
 
2,387 posts, read 6,107,386 times
Reputation: 2031

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Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
So, what led to the demise of the way kids relate to their families? The disrespect I've seen from teens & adult kids to their parents is astounding.
The way that the teens are so self absorbed, spoiled--demanding cell phones, I pods, laptops, "Uggs" & other name brand crap, could be a part of the problem.
And if the parents think the kids will grow up & magically turn into loving, kind people-wrong
Just yesterday I overheard my neighbor yelling, swearing & screaming at his mom to move his stuff, & help him to her car. He's 36 years old
Very simple,to much for nothing,do not know what work and respect means.
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Old 01-18-2012, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Ohio
18,160 posts, read 13,340,573 times
Reputation: 14047
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
Why are kids so messed up these days?
Technology.

Technology allows kids to become involved in experiences, issues and matters that they are not prepared to deal with emotionally or intellectually. The technology also bars and inhibits interpersonal communications, and that results in bullying, which has been continually increasing, and which will continue to increase and become worse until you remove the technology from their hands.

The parents are also part of the problem.

You could see this coming from Generation Me (Generation X) who didn't care what they're kids were doing, as long as their kids weren't bothering them. I called them "Trophy Kids" because that's basically what the children were, Trophies. You take the trophy out of the box, dust it off, sit it on the mantle, and then wave it around to friends and guests who visit your home, and once they leave, you throw the trophy back into the box.

10 years ago I'd go to the shopping mall late Friday or Saturday, and there'd be girls with 12-14 years prostituting themselves for money to go to the cinema show, or to buy a cell-phone or cell-phone minutes. Nothing has changed in the last 10 years, but parents still sit around trying to figure out how photos of their naked 14 year old got plastered all over the internet.

I hope you don't think things are too bad, because it will get a lot worse in the years to come.

Just think, if you adopt a child now and raise that child properly, maybe you'll have a place to live in your old age when you retire (because I doubt your real children will let you live with them).

Just saying....

Mircea
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Old 01-18-2012, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,236,105 times
Reputation: 2387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Are we talking free range, cage free, omega-3 fatty acid chicken
Don't forget the "test tube" chickens without limbs or beaks!

But in all seriousness, I fall in the art reflects life camp.
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Old 01-18-2012, 02:51 PM
 
14,777 posts, read 34,663,988 times
Reputation: 14281
Quote:
Technology.
Ah, the oft blamed bane and savior of man...

Quote:
Technology allows kids to become involved in experiences, issues and matters that they are not prepared to deal with emotionally or intellectually.
...yet in the past children at the age of 12-14 were thrust into the world of adult life, holding jobs, getting married, etc. Part of the struggle I believe to an extent is that we place artificial limits on the concept of "maturity" and how it relates to age. The age at which children are considred "adults" varies greatly in opinion. Some cling to 18, but most would now say people aren't "adults" until they are in their 20s.

Is it not better to openly discuss these experiences, issues and matters then arbitrarily say that a kid who is biologically equipped for say sex, shouldn't be interest in it because they aren't "mature" enough?

Quote:
The technology also bars and inhibits interpersonal communications, and that results in bullying, which has been continually increasing, and which will continue to increase and become worse until you remove the technology from their hands.
I imagine that there is at least one neolithic cave painting that says "Ugh Ugh is a big fat jerk". Since man has learned to communicate, one of the primary uses for it has been to eviscerate other people. The medium has changed, but is there really that much of a difference between a painting on a cave wall and a post on a Facebook wall?

As for bullying this, IMO, is seen as such a great issue these days precisely because of the technology, media and information that you resent as corrupting the youth. Bullying has existed about as long as people have, it really isn't going to change, but our response and perception of it certainly can. Your view of youth may actually be more corrupted by the "technology" then the youth are actually being corrupted by the same.

Quote:
The parents are also part of the problem.
In general terms, aren't all parents for all time, "the problem"? You raised the kids that raised the kids that you are complaining about. So, it's at least partially your fault right?

Quote:
You could see this coming from Generation Me (Generation X) who didn't care what they're kids were doing, as long as their kids weren't bothering them. I called them "Trophy Kids" because that's basically what the children were, Trophies. You take the trophy out of the box, dust it off, sit it on the mantle, and then wave it around to friends and guests who visit your home, and once they leave, you throw the trophy back into the box.
If anything Gen-X probably has a more progressive and involved attitude about having children then previous generations did. What was the parental archetype in the 1950's? The children should be seen and not heard. Mom keeps a perfect home and uses a bottle because that's fashionable. Dad joins the guys from the office for a drink after work before coming home to his meal and then retiring to the den with his pipe and slippers. Mom has a nanny so she can join the girls for bridge at least twice a week.

If anything, the 1950's parental stereotype was far more "trophy" then the current approaches.

Quote:
10 years ago I'd go to the shopping mall late Friday or Saturday, and there'd be girls with 12-14 years prostituting themselves for money to go to the cinema show, or to buy a cell-phone or cell-phone minutes. Nothing has changed in the last 10 years, but parents still sit around trying to figure out how photos of their naked 14 year old got plastered all over the internet.
...and before the internet the same girls were seen naked in polaroids. Everyone knew who the school **** was in the 50's and 60's even if they weren't so on your face about it. You know the girl that you could get "lucky" with if you took her out to eat and drove up to "make out point".

Quote:
I hope you don't think things are too bad, because it will get a lot worse in the years to come.
If that were true, we'd have reached the 7th level of hell sometime around 300 BC.

Quote:
Just think, if you adopt a child now and raise that child properly, maybe you'll have a place to live in your old age when you retire (because I doubt your real children will let you live with them).
Sour grapes? If I recall correctly, it was the Baby Boomers who led the charge on depositing their parents in homes. You know the kids raised with those "traditional" values.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:11 PM
 
Location: 112 Ocean Avenue
5,706 posts, read 7,914,499 times
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I was born in 1962 and there were plenty of rotten kids back then as well. The big difference today is the vast array of technology and 24/7 news cycle we have that loves focusing on all the bad stuff people do. We're flooded with it everywhere. Amplifies the problem big time.

Didn't have that back in the 60s & 70s. Took forever to get a story out using Morse code.
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Old 01-18-2012, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,236,105 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedJacket View Post
I was born in 1962 and there were plenty of rotten kids back then as well. The big difference today is the vast array of technology and 24/7 news cycle we have that loves focusing on all the bad stuff people do. We're flooded with it everywhere. Amplifies the problem big time.

Didn't have that back in the 60s & 70s. Took forever to get a story out using Morse code.
I'm quoting this because I believe it bears reading a second time.
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:33 PM
 
9,018 posts, read 7,984,069 times
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Here's the latest example:


FULL VIDEO helpless asian man attacked and jumped by 7 others behind school - YouTube

Dad of one of teens charged in YouTube beating says attack was a 'retaliation' - chicagotribune.com
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Old 01-19-2012, 04:25 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,812,796 times
Reputation: 14503
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
So, what led to the demise of the way kids relate to their families? The disrespect I've seen from teens & adult kids to their parents is astounding.
The way that the teens are so self absorbed, spoiled--demanding cell phones, I pods, laptops, "Uggs" & other name brand crap, could be a part of the problem.
And if the parents think the kids will grow up & magically turn into loving, kind people-wrong
Just yesterday I overheard my neighbor yelling, swearing & screaming at his mom to move his stuff, & help him to her car. He's 36 years old
This is a no brainer. They've been catered to and told they are special snowflakes since they were born. So they think of no one but themselves. They've been given trophies and accolades just for showing up so now they think they deserve the rewards of hard work without the hard work. In short, we taught them to be this way.

I don't think it has much to do with what they're given as teens. The stage was set for this long before the teen years. Teens just happen to be, naturally, self absorbed so it gets worse in the teen years. The problem is no one taught them to think of anyone but themselves before that. They want the trophies and accolades just for existing...after all, they are special snowflakes and the world should pay homage to that.

Sadly, all these ego protecting parents accomplished was making the transition to the real world that much harder...IF they transition at all. More and more I see kids not leaving home...sponging off of parents when they should be supporting themselves. I hope parents who raised their kids on praise have enough money to afford what they created.

If you want your kids to care about others...teach them to care about others. If you want them to realize the world does not revolve around them, quit treating them like it does revolve around them. Dd#2 may be spoiled but she thinks of others....she has a plan for her future....she knows she has to work hard to get there. Dd#1 is another story but that's because of a developmental issue that, unfortunately, feeds off of the results of this feel good parenting. I don't participate and never have but she thinks that's the way it should be because that's the way her friend's lives are (so she's angry we don't treat her like a special snowflake on top of everything else, but I digress). She is in therapy to, hopefully, fix this now.
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Old 01-19-2012, 05:46 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,772,553 times
Reputation: 3110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
This is a no brainer. They've been catered to and told they are special snowflakes since they were born. So they think of no one but themselves. They've been given trophies and accolades just for showing up so now they think they deserve the rewards of hard work without the hard work. In short, we taught them to be this way.
I tend to agree with you a bit here. We tend to try to do so much for our kids these days that I'm not really sure if there is a sense of gratitude. More like a sense of entitlement. As parents, we try to do so much for our kids. Sometimes, I feel like I live in my car shuttling kids around to event after event. I'm a lightweight compared to my friend. Every moment of her time is spent on activities for the kids---she lives in her van. Not so sure if this is a good thing in the long run.
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Old 01-19-2012, 07:38 AM
 
11,617 posts, read 19,788,894 times
Reputation: 12056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mircea View Post
You could see this coming from Generation Me (Generation X) who didn't care what they're kids were doing, as long as their kids weren't bothering them. I called them "Trophy Kids" because that's basically what the children were, Trophies. You take the trophy out of the box, dust it off, sit it on the mantle, and then wave it around to friends and guests who visit your home, and once they leave, you throw the trophy back into the box.
Isn't the charge about Generation X that we are helicopter parents NOT that we are hands off parents?

Aren't we supposed to be overprotective to a fault? Aren't we supposed to be absorbed in our own children to an unhealthy degree?

I think that these "trophy kids" must belong to another generation because the charges I hear about my own generation is that we pay TO MUCH attention to our children, not TO LITTLE.

Edited to add this link: http://www.babyzone.com/toddler/todd...tion-parenting

The quote that stuck out the most is :

"The slacker image that Generation X earned in the early 90s is gone. No longer seen as lazy and directionless, the thirty- and forty-somethings of today are regarded as driven go-getters. Extreme and maniacally focused on everything they do from sports (X games), to work (Silicon Valley pioneers staying up all night to launch new tech products), to parenting. That's right; GenX is turning out to be some of the most conservative, protective, proactive parents in history. They enact legislation for smaller class sizes, volunteer at school, leave their fast-paced jobs to stay home with their children, and homeschool their kids in record numbers."
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