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Old 01-18-2012, 08:00 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
346 posts, read 429,379 times
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I believe that society in general has devalued the stay at home "job". The feminist movement, while achieving some great things, also brought about a bit of disdain for a mother who CHOSE to stay home and not work for wages. I have seen this attitude with my own friends, one in particular who said she couldn't imagine what this mom did all day since she didn't work for wages and her kids were in school. It is viewed by some as less valued, perhaps lazy?

On the flip side, you see a lot of women feeling guilty for working for wages.

It is time that we pulled together and supported one another, but in order to feel good about our choices, often times we have to feel negative about the choice we didn't make. Human nature I suppose.

 
Old 01-18-2012, 08:03 AM
 
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I think this has come up again because there was another of those "How much SAHM's would earn should they get paid" articles floating around on the Interwebz.

Which is a media construct, I've never heard anybody actually want to get paid for doing it.

And then people get all bent because they think SAHM's want more recognition than others. Which may be true of a small sample, but not true of the majority.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 08:23 AM
 
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At one point in time, having fought for the right to CHOOSE to work, there was a sense that a woman OUGHT to choose that by some of the more ardent feminists, in my opinion. I think that there was a time in which feminists looked down at the SAHM. I think as time moves on, people have realized that what women were fighting for was the freedom to choose.

I think most people can clearly see the opportunity for benefit that SAH can have for one's children.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,109,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
At one point in time, having fought for the right to CHOOSE to work, there was a sense that a woman OUGHT to choose that by some of the more ardent feminists, in my opinion. I think that there was a time in which feminists looked down at the SAHM. I think as time moves on, people have realized that what women were fighting for was the freedom to choose.

I think most people can clearly see the opportunity for benefit that SAH can have for one's children.
Agreed.

I haven't really noticed many stay-at-home moms saying their job is more important than mine or anything like that. I know someone from time to time says something like, "My job is the most important job in the world," to which I think, "Okay, whatever." Some people just crave recognition and reassurance. For example, I don't visit the Education board much, but I have seen threads about teachers and how some of them want praise and respect for their jobs. I don't like to get into "My job is better than your job" dickering, which is what it boils down to.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 08:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Agreed.

I haven't really noticed many stay-at-home moms saying their job is more important than mine or anything like that. I know someone from time to time says something like, "My job is the most important job in the world," to which I think, "Okay, whatever." Some people just crave recognition and reassurance. For example, I don't visit the Education board much, but I have seen threads about teachers and how some of them want praise and respect for their jobs. I don't like to get into "My job is better than your job" dickering, which is what it boils down to.


That's correct. And I don't think any group as a whole are immune from this attitude. But it's not indicative of all.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 08:55 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Agreed.

I haven't really noticed many stay-at-home moms saying their job is more important than mine or anything like that. I know someone from time to time says something like, "My job is the most important job in the world," to which I think, "Okay, whatever." Some people just crave recognition and reassurance. For example, I don't visit the Education board much, but I have seen threads about teachers and how some of them want praise and respect for their jobs. I don't like to get into "My job is better than your job" dickering, which is what it boils down to.
I think in this particular example, on those boards specifically, there is a HUGE faction of people that think that all teachers do all day is babysit kids and should make minimum wage with no benefits because they 'don't do anything all day". The teachers are simply trying to point out that they don't just babysit all day.

I think parenting IS the most important job in the world. If we don't produce good people to succeed us in this world, what will happen to us during our nursing home years . Seriously though, there is nothing more important than parenting your children.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 09:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Something that I keep running into, over and over, IRL and in the media, for years, is that stay at home moms want to be recognized for staying home with their kids.
Exactly what kind of recognition do you see them seeking? I have never seen this IRL so I really need to know exactly what people say to you that indicates that they want to be specifically recognized for staying home with their kids. I experienced the opposite in my life (working parents crowing about how wonderful they are because they 'do it all').


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
So, why do SAHM's think they deserve a pat on the back for being SAHM's by society in general?
I think this is your perception, which is not entirely backed up by reality.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 09:11 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,109,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
I think in this particular example, on those boards specifically, there is a HUGE faction of people that think that all teachers do all day is babysit kids and should make minimum wage with no benefits because they 'don't do anything all day". The teachers are simply trying to point out that they don't just babysit all day.
I understand. I just wanted to point out that people in general probably want recognition for their jobs, or at least not to be put down for them--stay-at-home parents included.

Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
I think parenting IS the most important job in the world. If we don't produce good people to succeed us in this world, what will happen to us during our nursing home years . Seriously though, there is nothing more important than parenting your children.
Parenting, from a general, overarching perspective, could very well be the most important job in the world. On a granular level, the job of ONE PARENT is probably not the most important job in the world. Not only does that not make any sense because there are billions of parents and they all can't have the world's most important job, there are individual jobs that could have more impact on society as a whole. The doctors who literally saved my daughter's life at birth, and who probably went on to save other babies' lives, are more important than I am in the grand scheme of things. If one parent's job were more important than anyone else's (teachers, soldiers, doctors, politicians, police officers, fire fighters, etc.), then we would pay people to stay at home to raise their children, and we would pay people to adopt children.

I fully recognize that I have a major impact on my children's lives and well-being, and that it is my duty to society raise good, productive citizens. However, I also fully recognize that my family is but five people out of over 300 million in this country alone, and I have no grandiose delusions about my impact on society as a whole--not at the granular level.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 09:11 AM
 
Location: here
24,483 posts, read 28,860,837 times
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If they are, perhaps it is because they are being told by working moms that working moms do everything they do plus work full time In that case, of course they would respond by pointing out all that they do. That would be a normal response when criticized that way.

I can't believe this can of worms has been opened again, and I can't believe I'm actually responding.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 09:18 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,556,547 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I understand. I just wanted to point out that people in general probably want recognition for their jobs, or at least not to be put down for them--stay-at-home parents included.



Parenting, from a general, overarching perspective, could very well be the most important job in the world. On a granular level, the job of ONE PARENT is probably not the most important job in the world. Not only does that not make any sense because there are billions of parents and they all can't have the world's most important job, there are individual jobs that could have more impact on society as a whole. The doctors who literally saved my daughter's life at birth, and who probably went on to save other babies' lives, are more important than I am in the grand scheme of things. If one parent's job were more important than anyone else's (teachers, soldiers, doctors, politicians, police officers, fire fighters, etc.), then we would pay people to stay at home to raise their children, and we would pay people to adopt children.

I fully recognize that I have a major impact on my children's lives and well-being, and that it is my duty to society raise good, productive citizens. However, I also fully recognize that my family is but five people out of over 300 million in this country alone, and I have no grandiose delusions about my impact on society as a whole--not at the granular level.
But you can't get to the level a dr needs to get, most of the time, without having a good foundation and without being parented well.
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