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Old 01-22-2012, 05:03 PM
 
11,229 posts, read 9,228,214 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
I'm sure they do. So do Tea Party folks, Occupy folks, religious zealots, you can probably find a group of people who really like to dress up as Disney characters on every third Tuesday of the month.
OH OH! We were out recently and met a group of people who are transvestites! They were great fun. But hardly all that common.

 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:18 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
Reputation: 31039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
This is what I did with my sister and SIL. It's more complicated with ddil because my own kids are hearing her BS and old enough that it needs to be discussed afterwards. My SIL never said anything negative to my kids. My sister I had to just ignore for about 10 years. My sister and ddil are cut from the same cloth. My sister actually tried to start up a day care business but she kept getting fired. She told the kids how sorry she felt for them because their moms didn't love them enough to stay home with them and then didn't understand why their mothers got mad because she was just "showing empathy" for their kids and their situation.

I really would like to know what makes women like this tick. How do you get so full of yourself? My sister always has been delusional and thought she was better than everyone else so it's no surprise with her. She couldn't cut school and couldn't hold down a job so she became a SAHM and then preached it was what GOOD mothers did. Her I understand because I grew up with her. If this is why SAHM's who are like this are like this, then it's best to just ignore them.
You daughters will hear all kind of things from all kinds of people. Why is this one SAHM your biggest worry? Do you not think your daughters are smart enough to form their own opinions? Is one of your daughters becoming a SAHM the worst possible thing you can imagine? You'd think the woman was teaching them how to cook meth or something.
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:20 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,723,723 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You daughters will hear all kind of things from all kinds of people. Why is this one SAHM your biggest worry? Do you not think your daughters are smart enough to form their own opinions? Is one of your daughters becoming a SAHM the worst possible thing you can imagine? You'd think the woman was teaching them how to cook meth or something.
That's an excellent idea! Talk about significantly raising your SES ...
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:22 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
Reputation: 31039
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I've really met a dozen or so who think that they are superior mothers for SAH and society should pat them on the back for that. I'm related to three of them. I'm just trying to figure out what makes them tick.

And this is not uncommon. Even Dr. Phil has done shows on SAHM's who want recognition. I've seen debates where SAHM's think the government should pay them to SAH.
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT MAKES THEM TICK BECAUSE WE DON'T KNOW ANY!!!!!!!!

Actually, we've pointed out a few possibilities, but you blow them off. It gets tiring to keep repeating myself.
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:29 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,730,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
The point is, I think the attitude is more common than just the SAHM's who are vocal about it. If I counted the ones I've met on line, we'd be at several dozen. I don't think all of them admit thinking this way. However, it doesn't matter how many there are. Just that they are. I'd like to understand what I'm dealing with.

I can't say why you don't meet them but I do. Not so much anymore as my kids are older. I met a few when my dd's were babies and I worked part time (I made the mistake of joining a moms group at a church) and a few more when my kids were in elementary school. Most moms I met, if they felt this way, didn't say it. My sister was quite vocal as were her friends (another church group). My SIL admits to thinking this way but never articulated the belief. She no longer believes that SAH is better.
OK, here is my take. There is a personality type that seeks recognition. My husbands boss is one of them. These people could be CEO's, actors, musicians, doctors, teachers, engineers , athletes, any number of things. The only one of these that gets under your skin is the SAHM because you don't think what she does is worthy of recognition. She may be an annoying personality type, but you are allowing her to get to you. You can't change people, only how you react to them.
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:37 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,723,723 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
OK, here is my take. There is a personality type that seeks recognition. My husbands boss is one of them. These people could be CEO's, actors, musicians, doctors, teachers, engineers , athletes, any number of things. The only one of these that gets under your skin is the SAHM because you don't think what she does is worthy of recognition. She may be an annoying personality type, but you are allowing her to get to you. You can't change people, only how you react to them.
Exactly. Geez, my world is full of people who want recognition for a living.

Ivory should spend a few hours with them. Might make her DIL look like an amateur in comparison.

However, I have to say, that there are some women on this board who either stay at home with young kids or work their arses of with young kids, and all of them deserve all the friggin' recognition I can muster.

And my respect, and kudos, and admiration.

So here's to ya ladies, you all do a great job. I'm not going to begrudge any one of you.

Cheers!
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,226,271 times
Reputation: 2387
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
However, I have to say, that there are some women on this board who either stay at home with young kids or work their arses of with young kids, and all of them deserve all the friggin' recognition I can muster.

And my respect, and kudos, and admiration.

So here's to ya ladies, you all do a great job. I'm not going to begrudge any one of you.

Cheers!
I'd like to second that, and right back at you, Fin! Sometimes it's just nice to tell someone you appreciate them, not because you have to or society says you should, but just because it's a nice thing to do as a human.
 
Old 01-22-2012, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,702,140 times
Reputation: 14495
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
OK, here is my take. There is a personality type that seeks recognition. My husbands boss is one of them. These people could be CEO's, actors, musicians, doctors, teachers, engineers , athletes, any number of things. The only one of these that gets under your skin is the SAHM because you don't think what she does is worthy of recognition. She may be an annoying personality type, but you are allowing her to get to you. You can't change people, only how you react to them.
No, I don't think SAH is superior to WOH. Wrong argument there. My issue is that one particular group of parents thinks they deserve recognition for being parents while thinking other parents deserve to be put down for not doing it their way. It's that they consider themselves superior parents. I don't get thinking one style of parenting is special land deserving of kudos over another when we all manage to raise great kids and the things parents do don't change with working status.
 
Old 01-22-2012, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Australia
8,011 posts, read 2,713,818 times
Reputation: 38423
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
No, I don't think SAH is superior to WOH. Wrong argument there. My issue is that one particular group of parents thinks they deserve recognition for being parents while thinking other parents deserve to be put down for not doing it their way. It's that they consider themselves superior parents. I don't get thinking one style of parenting is special land deserving of kudos over another when we all manage to raise great kids and the things parents do don't change with working status.
Have you ever told your DIL that she's raising great kids?
 
Old 01-22-2012, 06:10 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,973,454 times
Reputation: 42369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
She is like dozens of other SAHM's I have met over the years. I'm tryin g to understand what makes this type of SAHM tick. If ddil were the onle one I'd met, I'd think it was just her. My estimate is that 30-50% of SAHM's actually think this way but only some will actually say it. Why the need to consider themselves superior to WM's?
You have been given several reasons why someone would act like that. Nobody, not even you, knows why your daughter-in-law is the way she is. I don't understand why this discussion keeps going or what you're hoping to accomplish. It just dissolves into flaming and fighting, as your previous two threads have shown. None of us can read her mind or anyone else's, so we can't really say why, Obviously nobody is going to speak up and say, "Hey, I'm also a rude and toxic person with a superiority complex, and I totally understand where your daughter-in-law is coming from."

If she's a nut, then she's a nut.
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