U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:31 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,027,121 times
Reputation: 42372

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
I haven't heard anyone say that one position is better than the other, although I have a personal peeve with the term "working mom" as we all work. Some of us just leave the house to do so.

I chose to be a SAHM, which my husband and I both agreed on. We would not have had children if one of us would not be staying home with them. I personally do not understand, in most cases, having an infant whom you just turn over to a stranger or near-stranger for the whole day while you go off to work. I admit I have that "Why have the child at all?" opinion on that.

I do realize that there are single mothers who do not have this option.
I realize there are people in extenuating circumstances. So this is not a one-size-fits-all thing.

But so many people claim they "need" the extra income when it is surprising how much you can accomplish on one income if you reprioritize/downsize. Also, when you take into account the money you spend getting to your job, dressing for your job, etc and then also work in being home for your child, which you really can't put a price on.

Some of you are saying "Well WE had no choice! and it's GREAT that YOU did, but NOT EVERYONE DOES!!"
Yep, I know that. That's why I use words like "most," "some," and "extenuating circumstances."

Also I will say that I had some good sleep experiences with my kids and some horrible ones. Mostly horrible.
And I can't imagine having to get up and get ready for work after all that, let alone drive! And then having to function at a traditional job!!
That on top of doing the rest of the housework you need to do in order to keep your house respectable, after having been at work all day. (And having to eat.)
What would be a better title for "Mom with Job Outside the Home," in your opinion? Baby Abandoner or Materialistic Anti-Mom?

 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:46 AM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,698,795 times
Reputation: 945
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
What would be a better title for "Mom with Job Outside the Home," in your opinion? Baby Abandoner or Materialistic Anti-Mom?
Why so defensive?
There are moms who work at home, raising the kids and keeping the house under control, etc.
and moms who work outside the home, the part usually described as the "working" part.

It is as if you are projecting thoughts/worries of your own onto my post.
But it's simple as that: "Works outside the home."

For that matter, why are we okay with "stay-at-home mom"? As any in a similar situation can tell you, there is very little "staying," esp. when you're running errands and then as they're older you're off to the library, playground, museum, etc!
and heading this off: Yes, I used "SAHM" in my original post because it was already mentioned in the thread that way, but I usually drop the "stay."
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,806,901 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
I chose to be a SAHM, which my husband and I both agreed on. We would not have had children if one of us would not be staying home with them. I personally do not understand, in most cases, having an infant whom you just turn over to a stranger or near-stranger for the whole day while you go off to work. I admit I have that "Why have the child at all?" opinion on that.
I know many mothers who chose to keep working after having children because they enjoyed their chosen career. It's not only about money. Being a SAHM does not make one a better mother, it just makes one a SAHM.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:50 AM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,698,795 times
Reputation: 945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I know many mothers who chose to keep working after having children because they enjoyed their chosen career.
Right, I understand that.
But that's where priorities come in, if you are not working out of financial necessity.

If you're a new mother and can afford to stay with your INFANT, at the very least, why hand them to someone else?
That's really off to me, although I know that's my opinion and doesn't need to be yours or anyone else's.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:52 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,806,901 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Right, I understand that.
But that's where priorities come in, if you are not working out of financial necessity.

If you're a new mother and can afford to stay with your INFANT, at the very least, why hand them to someone else?
That's really off to me, although I know that's my opinion and doesn't need to be yours or anyone else's.
It really has nothing to do with you or me. It's what works for that mother and her family. Your priorities are of no consequence to the choices someone else must make for their family.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:55 AM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,698,795 times
Reputation: 945
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
It really has nothing to do with you or me. It's what works for that mother and her family. Your priorities are of no consequence to the choices someone else must make for their family.
Actually, having been a teacher, I saw more than a few parenting decisions that affect more than just the family.

People are misinformed if they feel that whatever they do for their families, in a variety of instances, has no effect on society or on anyone else. Just Sayin.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 11:58 AM
 
11,230 posts, read 9,246,618 times
Reputation: 14654
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Actually, having been a teacher, I saw more than a few parenting decisions that affect more than just the family.

People are misinformed if they feel that whatever they do for their families, in a variety of instances, has no effect on society or on anyone else. Just Sayin.
I don't think anyone is saying that. We are speaking specifically about working or not working outside the home. There is no doubt that either can be done effectively because we have all SEEN it done effectively.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 12:00 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,782,510 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
I haven't heard anyone say that one position is better than the other, although I have a personal peeve with the term "working mom" as we all work. Some of us just leave the house to do so.

I chose to be a SAHM, which my husband and I both agreed on. We would not have had children if one of us would not be staying home with them. I personally do not understand, in most cases, having an infant whom you just turn over to a stranger or near-stranger for the whole day while you go off to work. I admit I have that "Why have the child at all?" opinion on that.

I do realize that there are single mothers who do not have this option.
I realize there are people in extenuating circumstances. So this is not a one-size-fits-all thing.

But so many people claim they "need" the extra income when it is surprising how much you can accomplish on one income if you reprioritize/downsize. Also, when you take into account the money you spend getting to your job, dressing for your job, etc and then also work in being home for your child, which you really can't put a price on.

Some of you are saying "Well WE had no choice! and it's GREAT that YOU did, but NOT EVERYONE DOES!!"
Yep, I know that. That's why I use words like "most," "some," and "extenuating circumstances."

Also I will say that I had some good sleep experiences with my kids and some horrible ones. Mostly horrible.
And I can't imagine having to get up and get ready for work after all that, let alone drive! And then having to function at a traditional job!!
That on top of doing the rest of the housework you need to do in order to keep your house respectable, after having been at work all day. (And having to eat.)
Well, there needs to be some distinction. What would you suggest?

Do you understand that there are different circumstances for each family? Do you understand that some women actually enjoy their jobs, and take pride in the work they do? Do you understand that it isn't only the income lost during the, say 5-10 years that that mom stayed home, but a loss of income that lasts for the rest of their lives, affecting their income potential when they decide to go back, their retirement age, and retirement savings? Maybe in YOUR situation it didn't make sense to keep working, but please don't judge others. you say you understand different circumstances, but you made a very narrow judgmental statement, especially re not having kids if you can't stay home .
 
Old 01-18-2012, 12:02 PM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,698,795 times
Reputation: 945
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
Do you understand that there are different circumstances for each family?
It doesn't seem that you read my next-to-last paragraph.
It's still there, though, so go on.

Quote:
I don't think anyone is saying that. We are speaking specifically about working or not working outside the home.
Sometimes having parents who work excessively and have little contact with the child is one of those issues.

Regardless, as this is not a debate, I am entitled to my opinion as you are. Carry on.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,806,901 times
Reputation: 14677
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Actually, having been a teacher, I saw more than a few parenting decisions that affect more than just the family.

People are misinformed if they feel that whatever they do for their families, in a variety of instances, has no effect on society or on anyone else. Just Sayin.
So what? It's still their decision to make, and unless they are breaking the law, it remains none of your business. You or I can have disdain or disagreements with parenting decisions others make, but it's not up to us.

I'm not a teacher, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last year.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top