Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I have to say as a SAHM of elementary school children ( 6yrs & 9 yrs) w/an education, that it is not as easy as it sounds to get a part time job, I have tried.
I have some obstacles that I have to find a way over and I am not willing to pay child care or give up my holidays with my children.
My career was within the hotel industry, almost 15 yrs. Director of Operations. I loved it, but not a family friendly career at all.
I have looked for part time work and have either been told " too much experience" , or " not flexible enough". Or heard nothing at all after sending in resume's.
My husband travels-ALOT and we do not live near any family or friends, so finding someone to take my children to & from activities or picking them up if the school calls when they are sick, is not possible.
It is not easy finding a part time job willing to be flexible with their hours and I am not willing to work evenings,etc... It just doesn't work FOR OUR FAMILY.
I would love to find something part time, but is is just not that easy.
I do volunteer in my children's school and other various organizations.... It is easier to volunteer at their school when they are still in elementary school.
I am fortunate to be in a profession that has a lot of part time work available-nursing. Since my oldest was born 27 years ago, I have worked a number of part time jobs. Sometimes I thought I had the worst of both worlds, but after I went back to work full time, when the oldest was in college, I found out how grueling working ft is with a family.
Another profession where one can work part time is accounting. I've had several friends who had pt accounting jobs.
I am fortunate to be in a profession that has a lot of part time work available-nursing. Since my oldest was born 27 years ago, I have worked a number of part time jobs. Sometimes I thought I had the worst of both worlds, but after I went back to work full time, when the oldest was in college, I found out how grueling working ft is with a family.
Another profession where one can work part time is accounting. I've had several friends who had pt accounting jobs.
I was fortunate to be in engineering when my kids were little. It was very easy for me to take an afternoon off and volunteer at my kids schools. In fact, it was easier for me than for the SAHM's who often had younger siblings at home and needed to find child care to volunteer. I already had child care worked out.
20/20 hindsight though, I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd done something like offered to grade papers for the teachers instead. Something out of sight of my kids. I think the kids whose moms volunteer feel special because of it and the kids whose moms don't feel lower because the other moms are there. There are lots of things parents can do that don't put them in the classroom.
I was fortunate to be in engineering when my kids were little. It was very easy for me to take an afternoon off and volunteer at my kids schools. In fact, it was easier for me than for the SAHM's who often had younger siblings at home and needed to find child care to volunteer. I already had child care worked out.
20/20 hindsight though, I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd done something like offered to grade papers for the teachers instead. Something out of sight of my kids. I think the kids whose moms volunteer feel special because of it and the kids whose moms don't feel lower because the other moms are there. There are lots of things parents can do that don't put them in the classroom.
I am sorry that this is OT, but I have to ask what an Engineer is. I had never heard of an Engineer before coming to this site. What do they do?
This attitude just amazes me. Women have always worked. We used to work the family farm or family business. Just keeping house and keeping a family clothed and fed used to be a full time job now it's not. Much of what women did in the past has been replaced by modern convenicnes like indoor plumbing, no wax floors, grocery stores, refrigerator/freezers, microwaves, dishwashers, washing machines, department stores, ect, etc, etc... So much so that dozens of hours of timeper week were freed up. Time that NEVER was spent on kids!!! It was spent working. So what's wrong with women spending SOME of that time working today? Even with a full time job, I work less than my grandmother did including what I do at home!! (Well, I did before I went into teaching but that's another story)
As my grandmother once told me the only difference now is that it's actually someone's job to watch the kids while mom works. Back in her day, no one did. Mom did her work and the kids played. She came running if someone screamed. Where did people ever get the idea that kids must be with mom 24 x 7?? (This is just self edifying BS spewed by the kind of SAHM I'm talking about here. The ones who think they're something special.) Where do they think the kdis were when mom was milking the cows or boiling clothes clean or helping her husband build a fence??? You'd have to be an idiot not to realize that children always have spent considerable time away from both of their parents. Usually, an older sibling (quite often a very young older sibling) watched the kids while mom worked or mom put baby into a wooden box called a baby tender and went about doing her chores. Seriously, day care is an improvement.
Men aren't expected to quit everything when they become parents, why are women? Men are valued for their financial contribution to their families, why aren't women? It's not like it was in the past when women were needed to work at home. Women never stayed home for the kids in the past. They stayed home because they did not control their own fertility and there was just too much work to do at home. Today, we control our fertility and 90% of the work has been taken out of housework so we are no longer needed at home and many of us can benefit our family's more by working.
What children need 24 x 7 is supervision and care. They never have needed one particular person to provide both 100% of the time. And 40 years of research supports this. It turns out that the children of SAHM's and the children of WM's turn out pretty much the same once you adjust for income. Given that SES matters and many WM's improve their family's SES, it is beyond me why anyone would cticize a mom for putting her baby into day care and going to work. Odds have it she's improving her children's lives by doing so. Why would anyone question a mom for doing what is best for her kids? (I'm not sure what percentage of WM's improve their family's SES but I know that 40% of WM's are the primary bread winner in their family, as I was when my kids were little. I'm willing to bet that the majority of WM's are improving their family's situation.)
What does anything in this post have to do with your OP? You're just rehashing the same stuff you've already posted in several other threads.
I don't see how any of this is relevant. Nobody was talking about working moms, you were asking why SAHM's would be so forward as to want a little respect for what they do. Working moms have nothing to do with it, either now or 100 years ago.
Why are you bringing all this up? I thought you just wanted other people's opinions on why SAHM's might feel that way, even though it's evident that a lot of people haven't actually experienced this mystery accolade search first hand.
This attitude just amazes me. Women have always worked. We used to work the family farm or family business. Just keeping house and keeping a family clothed and fed used to be a full time job now it's not. Much of what women did in the past has been replaced by modern convenicnes like indoor plumbing, no wax floors, grocery stores, refrigerator/freezers, microwaves, dishwashers, washing machines, department stores, ect, etc, etc... So much so that dozens of hours of timeper week were freed up. Time that NEVER was spent on kids!!! It was spent working. So what's wrong with women spending SOME of that time working today? Even with a full time job, I work less than my grandmother did including what I do at home!! (Well, I did before I went into teaching but that's another story)
As my grandmother once told me the only difference now is that it's actually someone's job to watch the kids while mom works. Back in her day, no one did. Mom did her work and the kids played. She came running if someone screamed. Where did people ever get the idea that kids must be with mom 24 x 7?? (This is just self edifying BS spewed by the kind of SAHM I'm talking about here. The ones who think they're something special.) Where do they think the kdis were when mom was milking the cows or boiling clothes clean or helping her husband build a fence??? You'd have to be an idiot not to realize that children always have spent considerable time away from both of their parents. Usually, an older sibling (quite often a very young older sibling) watched the kids while mom worked or mom put baby into a wooden box called a baby tender and went about doing her chores. Seriously, day care is an improvement.
Men aren't expected to quit everything when they become parents, why are women? Men are valued for their financial contribution to their families, why aren't women? It's not like it was in the past when women were needed to work at home. Women never stayed home for the kids in the past. They stayed home because they did not control their own fertility and there was just too much work to do at home. Today, we control our fertility and 90% of the work has been taken out of housework so we are no longer needed at home and many of us can benefit our family's more by working.
What children need 24 x 7 is supervision and care. They never have needed one particular person to provide both 100% of the time. And 40 years of research supports this. It turns out that the children of SAHM's and the children of WM's turn out pretty much the same once you adjust for income. Given that SES matters and many WM's improve their family's SES, it is beyond me why anyone would cticize a mom for putting her baby into day care and going to work. Odds have it she's improving her children's lives by doing so. Why would anyone question a mom for doing what is best for her kids? (I'm not sure what percentage of WM's improve their family's SES but I know that 40% of WM's are the primary bread winner in their family, as I was when my kids were little. I'm willing to bet that the majority of WM's are improving their family's situation.)
The only time in recent months that someone has brought up SAHM vs working moms, specifically SAHM supposedly wanting some sort of accolades for it was YOU. YOU! BOTH TIMES! you obviously have some sort of hang up in this department. No one brings it up here except you. No one is attacking you for working. No one is b**ching and moaning about staying home. No one here brings it up but YOU! None of my mom friends complain about how hard staying home is. None of them criticize me when I say I'm looking for a job. It is a non-issue until YOU make it one in this forum. I don't understand why you continue to make such a big deal out of this subject!
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 01-19-2012 at 07:57 PM..
Reason: typo as usual
Hmm... What do you think these two sentences say about the type of person you are? Those are highly judgemental statements.
Whatever. It's your right. I'm all in favor of free speech and individualism.
Personally, I'd rather be supportive of other women and their choices even when they disagree with mine.
Yes, I'm judgemental about people who are judgemental. How anyone thinks they are high and mighty enough to question whether someone else should have had kids is beyond me. That takes arrogance to the nth degree. I'm not the one with the problem.
Unfortunately, statements like that are made because the person making them wants to feel superior. So yes, it's self edifying BS. When you start questioning why other women had kids because they made a choice you don't like, you need to get off your high horse.
The only time in recent months that someone has brought up SAHM vs working moms, specifically SAHM supposedly wanting some sort of accolades for it was YOU. YOU! BOTH TIMES! you obviously have some sort of hang up in this department. No one brings it up here except you. No one is attacking you for working. No one is b**ching and moaning about staying home. No one here brings it up but YOU! None of my mom friends complain about how hard staying home is. None of them criticize me when I say I'm looking for a job. It is a non-issue until YOU make it one in this forum. I don't understand why you continue to make such a big deal out of this subject!
It's something I run into IRL and see all the time in magazines and on shows like Dr. Phil. I don't get it. So I ask.
I never said anyone was attacking me for working. Please link to the post where you think I did. Someone else posted about a SAHM who questioned why WM's have kids at all. I responded to that post.
What does anything in this post have to do with your OP? You're just rehashing the same stuff you've already posted in several other threads.
I don't see how any of this is relevant. Nobody was talking about working moms, you were asking why SAHM's would be so forward as to want a little respect for what they do. Working moms have nothing to do with it, either now or 100 years ago.
Why are you bringing all this up? I thought you just wanted other people's opinions on why SAHM's might feel that way, even though it's evident that a lot of people haven't actually experienced this mystery accolade search first hand.
I was answering the post... and expressing why I find this attitude baffling. Given that the majority of WM's work to benefit their families, why would anyone ask why a WM bothered having kids. It's illogical. Why make a judgemental statement like that about someone doing what is best for her family? That's the attitude I'm trying to understand.
I made it clear in my first post why I'm asking. This is something I deal with IRL and I don't get it. I see it on TV in the press and, unfortunately, in my own life. I'd like to figure out what drives this kind of self edification and whether or not it's possible to work around it.
I made it clear in my first post why I'm asking. This is something I deal with IRL and I don't get it. I don't get what women like the one in the post I was answering want or why they think what they do.
Wow, it shows a real lack of confidence and maturity if you let trivial things such as SAH vs working debates get to you.
People do what's best for THEIR families. What happens beyond that is pretty irrelevant if you ask me...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And 40 years of research supports this. It turns out that the children of SAHM's and the children of WM's turn out pretty much the same once you adjust for income. Given that SES matters and many WM's improve their family's SES, it is beyond me why anyone would cticize a mom for putting her baby into day care and going to work. Odds have it she's improving her children's lives by doing so. Why would anyone question a mom for doing what is best for her kids? (I'm not sure what percentage of WM's improve their family's SES but I know that 40% of WM's are the primary bread winner in their family, as I was when my kids were little. I'm willing to bet that the majority of WM's are improving their family's situation.)
So I ask.