U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Happy Easter!
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 01-18-2012, 01:34 PM
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,007 posts, read 16,157,460 times
Reputation: 9676


Son 15, 9th grade, moved in when he was 9.

Item ES MS HS (9th now)
Bed No No No
Piles No Some Some
Food No Milk Milk/Lite Snack
Cloths Sort of Sort of Sort of

Cloths can be on the floor, from when he get home from school till next morning. Then they need to be in hamper in his room
He can have small piles on the floor but they need to picked up every other week, when the cleaning service comes.
Food, When he was in Elem school I would bring milk to him @ night but take cup down later that night. When he got to middle school, he would get his own milk, and next morning he would bring it down to dishwasher, HS, he get milk @ night and sometimes a lite snack, so far he been good at keepnig it clean, and bringing down the cup/plates. (No food trash goes in his trash can, it must go in kitchen trash)
Bed, I dont care if he makes his bed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 01-18-2012, 01:40 PM
11,230 posts, read 9,243,994 times
Reputation: 14654
For me the rationale behind a tidy room is:

- Tidy as you go is a good habit to get into. It may be helpful to them in the long run if putting something directly away is spinal.

- If things are where they belong, they are easier to find. MOM Where's my? ... That goes way. One can hope.

- Keeping the dirty laundry neatly in the basket makes it easier on Mom and Dad to do said laundry.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 01:43 PM
11,615 posts, read 19,738,691 times
Reputation: 12051
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Elementary school, middle school, high school ... What expectations do you have for your child's room? Do these expectations change as the child gets older?

Bed made or not?
Piles on the floor are okay or no?
No food in the room?
Clothes on the floor?

And please add your rationale ("I don't allow / do allow such-and-such because of this..."). I also am trying to get a wide variety of answers and don't necessarily think any of them are wrong.

(Although if you allowed so much yuck in the room that there might be critters in there, that's pretty bad!)

Please give whatever opinions/experience you have. Thanks.
My kids are in middle/high school. They each have thier own bedroom and bathroom. I have a cleaning person and she cleans their rooms/bathrooms.

I don't care if they make the beds on a daily basis. If I am expecting company I ask them to make the beds.

Small piles on the dresser do not bother me. My youngest son does leave his phone charging on the floor at night. I don't get on his case about that.

I never allowed the kids to have any food or drinks in their bedrooms when they were young. I have recently begun to allow them to take drinks in their rooms. No food. I expect them to bring any dirty cups to the kitchen. Sometimes they forget but I really am not going to stress over a dirty cup.

Dirty laundry should go in the hamper. Dirty towels should also go in the hamper. I won't wash anything that is laying on the floor. Clean laundry that has been folded and is ready to put away sometimes stays out for a little while before they get to it. I don't stress over this either.

I expect the bathrooms to be respectable. I don't mind if my older boys leave their razors on the vanity but I expect that if I want to use their bathroom that it will not be gross.

I do not require absolutely perfect rooms from my kids but I expect them to be sanitary. This is not a big issue in our house.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 01:47 PM
1,759 posts, read 1,698,498 times
Reputation: 945
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
- If things are where they belong, they are easier to find. MOM Where's my? ... That goes way. One can hope.
My mom always-always said to me, "Don't put it down, put it away."

As much as I do not want to sound like my mom, I have to admit this is/was an ideal rule to live by! and I hear myself saying it to my kids.

I really appreciate all the input. I too want it to be NEAT but one of my kids just isn't wired that way,
but is otherwise a great and responsible kid.
As was said upthread, I have to pick my battles.

Please don't stop contributing to this thread, though, everyone.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 01:59 PM
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,862,176 times
Reputation: 3142
This is the one area that I am failing terribly at, as a mom. I am lax about my daughter keeping her room neat. I tend to pick things up while she's at school. I know I need to start making her do more. My rationale is that she is sooooo busy with schoolwork and extracurriculars. There is no excuse.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 05:57 PM
Location: San Antonio, TX
10,866 posts, read 18,937,245 times
Reputation: 25133
I don't allow food in the bedrooms. I don't want bugs in there, or rotten food, or stains in the carpet. I used to allow bottles of water, but my daughter had 42 partial bottles on the shelves on her headboard, so I said no more bottled water in there. Come out and take a drink in the kitchen, put the bottle in the fridge, drink the rest later.

Otherwise, my main requirement is that there has to be a path to the closet and dresser, and I have to be able to close their doors. For my 6 year old, most of her toys are in tubs in the garage. If she wants to get out a tub of toys, her room has to be clean. That night the tub gets filled up again and taken back out. The only things she has in her room all the time are her Monster High dolls (about 30 of them) and books (at least 100 books). I also require her to keep the area around her ladder (she has a loft bed with the desk underneath) clear, for safety.

My 9 year old keeps her room a little messy. I don't care, she's the one who's embarrassed when her friends come over and they have to climb in instead of walking in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 06:06 PM
12,932 posts, read 19,824,518 times
Reputation: 33989
Mine are older than most who have answered. Beginning in middle school, I stopped fighting that battle. If I wanted the beds made, I made them. If they were ok with the condition of their bathrooms, I was too. They each have their own bedroom and bathroom, and I was starting to feel like a maid. So, I just started closing the doors.

I won't do laundry that hasn't made it's way to the laundry room. I fold or hang everything out of the dryer. if it doesn't end up in a closet or dresser, they know how an iron works.

I consider them on the messy side. Interestingly enough, both of the college kids complain to me how messy their apartment mates are. One of the boys was annoyed that he had to spend 3 hours cleaning up his kitchen after his roommates left for the Christmas break.

They know what a clean house looks like, and how it gets that way. So, my efforts have not been in vain, even though my house may not always reflect my personal standards.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 06:19 PM
Location: Bay Area, Calif.
2,435 posts, read 2,723,870 times
Reputation: 2579
Like adults, kids are so different from one family to another. Yet they can be very similar about many things. So you have to deal with them according to your knowlege of their individual personalities and temperments. Some can be easier to reason with than others. Like me when younger, my son hated cleaning. Period. Let alone his room. By age 12, he'd already decided that it was "girl stuff." Lol. And sometimes he would test our patience, and it would sometimes get thin.
I would get angry or demanding. But then my Dad would remind me, "donít demand as much from him as you expect of yourself. He is still learning, just as you had to."

As our children grew older, we realized how often we said no to the kidís requests. That kind of unreasonableness frustrated them, leaving them feeling oppressed. To avoid it, we decided to look for ways to say yes. And so we looked for opportunities for our children to do things with others under circumstances that we approved. We would approach them and say: "Did you know that so-and-so is doing this or that? Why donít you go too?" Or if the kids asked us to take them somewhere, we pushed ourselves to go even if we were tired. We did it just to avoid saying no. To me, hat is the very essence of reasonablenessóbeing fair, considerate, and yielding without compromising.

When I was growing up the bottom line was helping aropund the house not just to "pay my way" as Dad used to say. But also to teach me a sense of responsibility, that what you get in life needs to be not only earned, but appreciated, so that a false sense of entitlement would not set in and discourage me from enjoying hard work as a virtue. But yes I know. Times are different now. Kids rule. And training and discipline are disdained as archaic.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 06:51 PM
32,538 posts, read 29,368,217 times
Reputation: 32243
My kids always made their beds. It was because they had three grandmothers (yes 3) who said things like, "What's the matter with you that you can't make a bed? We'll go to the movies after you've made your bed. I'll wait."

They could pile books and things neatly on the floor. It was a very small house with limited space and no one wanted to get hit on the head with "War and Peace" falling off a bookshelf during an earthquake so this was actually a safety measure. So I told myself

No food in the bedrooms. We had to worry about possums and roof rats because of the area we lived in. No one wanted to come home from school and find Mom passed out from shock because she met Peter Possum in the hallway with a half-eaten sandwich in his mouth.

No clothes on the floor. The grandmas also said things like, "What a bunch of slobs. In my day we were happy just to have clothes."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 01-18-2012, 07:14 PM
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,777,368 times
Reputation: 38836
Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Bed made or not?
Always. A made bed makes the room look good.

Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Piles on the floor are okay or no?
Depends on the piles. Clothes, no. Research material, yes.

Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
No food in the room?
No food in the room.

Originally Posted by Alltheusernamesaretaken View Post
Clothes on the floor?
Sort of. Sometimes that happens when you are doing a quick change for a different activity/event. Bottom line was that if it was not in the hamper, it did not get washed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top