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Old 01-18-2012, 04:19 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,231,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
All of your comments were helpful. Thank you.
Good luck! I hope your DD find what works for her. She's lucky to have you, IMO.

I couldn't find the book I was looking for, but I did find The Center for Mindful Eating (tcme.org) that has a rather lengthy bibliography.
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Old 01-18-2012, 04:54 PM
 
4,218 posts, read 7,866,654 times
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I would try to find other sports (if the sports listed on the OP, were all she tried, then it's just a tiny amount she's known). I think kids, like adults, have to find "their" sport that clicks with them, that doesn't feel like forcing. I don't like (mildly put) running, but like alpine skiing. I may have influenced my daughter as she is really getting into this sport right now (she's 8.5). (But, there may be another factor in play: she craves the mommy and me time that her brother takes away enormously; she could have embraced the sport to have me to herself, but I also see she truly enjoys herself on the hill. I understand that this sibling pressure doesn't exist in your family, so that leverage can't be employed.)

Before, I tried my daughter in ballet (nope, she was always running like a sprinter instead of doing the lacework of the dance). Tried swimming - nope, she is not a water speedster, but would climb up the diving boards. I may need to sign her up for diving. School soccer didn't excite her. If I were running, I would see if she liked to run alongside, but since I don't, I can't send her out by herself. So seeing her mastering skiing in a matter of days felt like we've finally arrived. Had she not liked it, I would've kept trying further - skating, horseriding, badminton, gymnastics, boxing even. There should be something for everyone. And growing up and knowing her body, knowing her muscles and how they work together, add so much more confidence to a young girl.
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,308 posts, read 37,896,251 times
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I'm sure 50,000 psychologists would say I am wrong, but as a former girl I also think the food diary is not the best idea for her right now.

She's 13, and like many 13-yr-olds, probably has a reflected sense of self. If she's a self-starter, a food diary might work. But if she isn't, it will turn into one more thing her mom has to "nag" her about and could lead her to obsess about the reactions of others and her food choices.

Kids that age tend to graze anyway, so I get how a food diary would help her awareness of what she is consuming. But they also are STARVING at the end of a school day. Providing healthy alternatives, not banning foods entirely and adding activity sounds like a balanced approach to help her daughter learn to manage her eating habits.
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 3,231,167 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I'm sure 50,000 psychologists would say I am wrong, but as a former girl I also think the food diary is not the best idea for her right now.

She's 13, and like many 13-yr-olds, probably has a reflected sense of self. If she's a self-starter, a food diary might work. But if she isn't, it will turn into one more thing her mom has to "nag" her about and could lead her to obsess about the reactions of others and her food choices.

Kids that age tend to graze anyway, so I get how a food diary would help her awareness of what she is consuming. But they also are STARVING at the end of a school day. Providing healthy alternatives, not banning foods entirely and adding activity sounds like a balanced approach to help her daughter learn to manage her eating habits.
Haha re: your first sentence.

Here's the thing about a food diary - if it becomes a chore or an obsession rather than a little time-limited experiment, I would agree with you. But if DD is into the idea of increasing her awareness of what she's eating, it wouldn't be a bad tool for that. Generally, I would say whatever can feel like fun or a little project will be preferable over something that feels like work.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,725,292 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
I'm sure 50,000 psychologists would say I am wrong, but as a former girl I also think the food diary is not the best idea for her right now.

She's 13, and like many 13-yr-olds, probably has a reflected sense of self. If she's a self-starter, a food diary might work. But if she isn't, it will turn into one more thing her mom has to "nag" her about and could lead her to obsess about the reactions of others and her food choices.

Kids that age tend to graze anyway, so I get how a food diary would help her awareness of what she is consuming. But they also are STARVING at the end of a school day. Providing healthy alternatives, not banning foods entirely and adding activity sounds like a balanced approach to help her daughter learn to manage her eating habits.
Food diary, to her, officially acknowledges that people in the house believe that she has a food problem, when there is no "real" food problem.
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:04 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,641,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
These are really good questions. I guess I buy that stuff because, ironically, I'm trying NOT to make food an issue. I read things by people who say their parents forbid them from eating certain foods and they thought that triggered problems down the road. I want to have the attitude that all foods are acceptable, in moderation. Apparently it's the "moderation" I'm having trouble with.

I haven't read Eat This, Not That but am familiar with it.
But obviously she has an issue controlling herself around it. By telling you not to buy it she is letting you know that. Believe it or not people can become addicted to that sort of stuff and have a hard time controlling themselves around it.
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:40 PM
 
1,759 posts, read 1,699,677 times
Reputation: 945
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
What kind of cheese is she making in that quesadilla? Cheddar? Buy non-fat or low-fat white cheese. Choose the low-calorie options.
Just as a side, non-fat or low-fat-anything is usually higher in sugar.
Something to watch for.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,263 posts, read 4,292,106 times
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Do either of you have a smartphone? I use mine for all kinds of helpful healthy tips and reminders, and my children are now joining in with me!

The reason I ask is that a cool alternative to a food diary could be an app like this one: App Store - Meal Snap - Calorie Counting Magic I take pictures in lieu of logging everything and then like to review everything one a week.

I also have apps to remind me to drink water and to stretch periodically throughout the day.

It is completely understandable why you are not trying to be too tough. When I got heavy at the same point 12-13 yrs, my well-meaning and kind mom got really restrictive with food around the house. There were virtually no treats (not just for me, but for anyone). However, I was of the mentality where I would literally swipe food from my grandparents or friends' homes and hide it in my bedroom. So I do realize that being too restrictive can definitely backfire! I would spend every available cent on junk desserts after school lunches as well.

As far as the exercise, I was just like your daughter at that age. Some things my parents did that I ended up enjoying were hiking all around different mountains and state parks in our area, and also bicycle riding. We also had access to rowboats/canoes and I would enjoy padding/rowing as well. One of the reasons I think I hated sports/exercise at your daughter's age is because I was so clumsy and felt incompetent at everything I tried (especially in gym classes, totally picked last each & every time). I hope she can find her "thing" and enjoy exercise as much as you at some point.

I started to care more when I got a bit older, 16-17 and got interested in *boys,* but I never decided to be truly healthy and to eat very well and exercise until I had kids of my own
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Old 01-19-2012, 09:16 AM
 
15,208 posts, read 16,088,461 times
Reputation: 25165
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
I would try to find other sports (if the sports listed on the OP, were all she tried, then it's just a tiny amount she's known). I think kids, like adults, have to find "their" sport that clicks with them, that doesn't feel like forcing. I don't like (mildly put) running, but like alpine skiing. I may have influenced my daughter as she is really getting into this sport right now (she's 8.5). (But, there may be another factor in play: she craves the mommy and me time that her brother takes away enormously; she could have embraced the sport to have me to herself, but I also see she truly enjoys herself on the hill. I understand that this sibling pressure doesn't exist in your family, so that leverage can't be employed.)

Before, I tried my daughter in ballet (nope, she was always running like a sprinter instead of doing the lacework of the dance). Tried swimming - nope, she is not a water speedster, but would climb up the diving boards. I may need to sign her up for diving. School soccer didn't excite her. If I were running, I would see if she liked to run alongside, but since I don't, I can't send her out by herself. So seeing her mastering skiing in a matter of days felt like we've finally arrived. Had she not liked it, I would've kept trying further - skating, horseriding, badminton, gymnastics, boxing even. There should be something for everyone. And growing up and knowing her body, knowing her muscles and how they work together, add so much more confidence to a young girl.
I suggested to my daughter today that she just keep trying different sports because there may be something else out there that she likes. It's a little different with an 13-year-old than with an 8-year-old because the idea and impetus really has to come from her rather than me. I also forgot to add yesterday that she did a couple of years of Tae Kwon Do and liked it fine until they started sparring. She was not at all interersted in having someone try to punch and kick her. I also suggested that even if it's just for 1/2 an hour a day that she can do an exercise video at home, or walk/jog in the neighborhood. But I'm not going to nag her about it--that's just miserable for both of us.

Thanks for your comments.
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Old 01-19-2012, 09:28 AM
 
15,208 posts, read 16,088,461 times
Reputation: 25165
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_s View Post
Do either of you have a smartphone? I use mine for all kinds of helpful healthy tips and reminders, and my children are now joining in with me!

The reason I ask is that a cool alternative to a food diary could be an app like this one: App Store - Meal Snap - Calorie Counting Magic I take pictures in lieu of logging everything and then like to review everything one a week.
She has an iPod and I'll suggest it to her. Even just taking the pictures without doing any counting might be fun and a good way to look back and think about what you've consumed during the day. I think the whole point of food diaries is self-awareness. I hear what people on here are saying about them, but don't think there's anything wrong with just paying attention to what you're eating.
I also have apps to remind me to drink water and to stretch periodically throughout the day.

It is completely understandable why you are not trying to be too tough. When I got heavy at the same point 12-13 yrs, my well-meaning and kind mom got really restrictive with food around the house. There were virtually no treats (not just for me, but for anyone). However, I was of the mentality where I would literally swipe food from my grandparents or friends' homes and hide it in my bedroom. So I do realize that being too restrictive can definitely backfire! I would spend every available cent on junk desserts after school lunches as well.
Yes, this is definitely something I'm trying to avoid. I don't want to engage in any sort of war over food. She's a smart kid and I'm hoping that as she matures she can use her intellect to help her make good choices.


As far as the exercise, I was just like your daughter at that age. Some things my parents did that I ended up enjoying were hiking all around different mountains and state parks in our area, and also bicycle riding. We also had access to rowboats/canoes and I would enjoy padding/rowing as well. One of the reasons I think I hated sports/exercise at your daughter's age is because I was so clumsy and felt incompetent at everything I tried (especially in gym classes, totally picked last each & every time). I hope she can find her "thing" and enjoy exercise as much as you at some point.
As some of the other posters have pointed out, I need to be doing more to engage her in other activities. It's really hot here most of the year, but we have some nice beaches that we need to be taking advantage of.
I started to care more when I got a bit older, 16-17 and got interested in *boys,* but I never decided to be truly healthy and to eat very well and exercise until I had kids of my own
She may not make that decision til later either. I just hope to get her through child and young adulthood at a healthy weight.
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