Questions About Teenage Girls and Eating and Weight Issues (party, games, activity)
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My daughter hasn't shown any interest in a food diary, so I'm not going to mention it again.
In answer to an earlier question, yes, she's been menstruating for about 18 months and she did start her period this weekend. I think that was causing some bloating and also causing her to be very emotional about her body shape. It also seemed like she woke up taller on Sunday (I know that's not possible) but when I said "OMG, I think you grew overnight," she wanted to measure herself and it looks like she's grown 3/4 of an inch in the last few months. So that most likely is a reason she's been putting on some weight as well.
She made really good food choices this weekend without any prompting from me. For example, we were out of town with a school group she's involved with and stopped for fast food with the girls. She ordered a grilled cheese and small fries and a small drink. Yesterday she had some chips at home, but measured out a portion. Last night she stopped eating dinner after one portion and said she was going to wait 20 minutes and see if she was still hungry before eating anything else. Of course, she wasn't hungry after that. These are all things we've talked about over the years (not directly in relation to her, but just about good habits in general). We also went for a bike ride yesterday.
I told her this morning that I saw her making really good choices and that all she has to do to maintain a healthy weight is to just continue to make the same kind of choices. She seemed happy and pleased with herself.
I've taken to heart all the comments, and especially from people who said they'd been through the same thing at her age. This thread has been very helpful to me and I really appreciate it.
Marlow, that's great news!! Thanks so much for keeping us updated. I think it's awesome that DD is finding what works for her, that she seems pleased with herself, and that she has such a supportive role model in you. Good job!
Marlow, that's great news!! Thanks so much for keeping us updated. I think it's awesome that DD is finding what works for her, that she seems pleased with herself, and that she has such a supportive role model in you. Good job!
Thanks. I know that it's a process and that like all of us she'll probably have days where she does well and days where she could do better. But at least for now she has a good attitude about it and is willing to make an effort.
I would make the suggestion that the OP and her daughter talk about something other than food, calories, fat grams, carbs, etc. That's eating disorder talk. "Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full".
My guess is the DD will slim down as it sounds like she's probably done her final growth.
I would make the suggestion that the OP and her daughter talk about something other than food, calories, fat grams, carbs, etc. That's eating disorder talk. "Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full".
My guess is the DD will slim down as it sounds like she's probably done her final growth.
I appreciate your comment, but we talk about lots and lots of other stuff. The food-related talk started up in relation to her noting that she was putting on weight. I'm trying to navigate the issues without ignoring them or blowing them out of proportion.
So...as someone who struggled with their weight at that age I wouldn't worry so much about eating disorders. Only about 0.2% of teens actually struggle with anorexia, where 17% of American children under 19 are obese (NOT saying the OP's daughter is even overweight, let alone obese). I WOULD worry about supporting her and not hurting her self image. She definitely needs the love and support of her family and she also needs your guidance on how to handle her new adult body. She may have a final growth spurt and not struggle with her weight a year from now, that was not the case for me, I never grew after I was 12 and continue to actively manage my weight through exercise and healthy eating.
It sounds like she's aware that she needs to make good decisions and is trying. It may be more helpful to not stop at fast food places if you can help it and to remove things like chips from your home. We haven't had commercial snack food in our house for years, I have some multigrain crackers on hand as well as lots of fruit and raw veggies. Nuts are my favorite and make for a filling snack but you'll need to keep the servings small, but imo a serving of roasted almonds, while high in fat, is much healthier and filling for you than a bowl of chips.
Finally, after 20 some years of dealing with this, the real key I believe is exercise. I exercise 5 or 6 days a week, I have to or I can't eat the good food I want to without getting pudgy. It doesn't take a lot and study after study shows that people who exercise even a little bit are happier and healthier.
Ok, I'll stop now. This post probably came off as lecturing but this is a topic very close to my heart. Good luck to your daughter
An interesting video on how little exercise it takes to improve your health.
So...as someone who struggled with their weight at that age I wouldn't worry so much about eating disorders. Only about 0.2% of teens actually struggle with anorexia, where 17% of American children under 19 are obese (NOT saying the OP's daughter is even overweight, let alone obese). I WOULD worry about supporting her and not hurting her self image. She definitely needs the love and support of her family and she also needs your guidance on how to handle her new adult body. She may have a final growth spurt and not struggle with her weight a year from now, that was not the case for me, I never grew after I was 12 and continue to actively manage my weight through exercise and healthy eating.
It sounds like she's aware that she needs to make good decisions and is trying. It may be more helpful to not stop at fast food places if you can help it and to remove things like chips from your home. We haven't had commercial snack food in our house for years, I have some multigrain crackers on hand as well as lots of fruit and raw veggies. Nuts are my favorite and make for a filling snack but you'll need to keep the servings small, but imo a serving of roasted almonds, while high in fat, is much healthier and filling for you than a bowl of chips.
Finally, after 20 some years of dealing with this, the real key I believe is exercise. I exercise 5 or 6 days a week, I have to or I can't eat the good food I want to without getting pudgy. It doesn't take a lot and study after study shows that people who exercise even a little bit are happier and healthier.
Ok, I'll stop now. This post probably came off as lecturing but this is a topic very close to my heart. Good luck to your daughter
An interesting video on how little exercise it takes to improve your health.
You didn't come off as lecturing at all and I love the video--thanks.
Stopping at the fast food place wasn't my idea and I didn't realize we'd be eating lunch as a group. I was still happy my daughter ordered "small" everything, which is generally plenty of food for anyone.
About the chips, I'm glad you brought that up. We were at the store and she saw those and asked for them. I don't always say yes, but I don't want to be the food cop either. Others have posted about how their moms were well-intentioned but didn't really help matters because they forbid certain foods and second-guessed their daughter's decisions about food. It's a situation I find myself in repeatedly. I said "sure" to the chips and was happy when she got herself a portion of them and then put the bag away. Some people on here have said "keep all junk out of the house" and others have said "my mom did that and I ate it elsewhere every chance I got." My instinct is to keep the discussion going about food and nutrition but not to forbid anything or ban it from the house.
You didn't come off as lecturing at all and I love the video--thanks.
Stopping at the fast food place wasn't my idea and I didn't realize we'd be eating lunch as a group. I was still happy my daughter ordered "small" everything, which is generally plenty of food for anyone.
About the chips, I'm glad you brought that up. We were at the store and she saw those and asked for them. I don't always say yes, but I don't want to be the food cop either. Others have posted about how their moms were well-intentioned but didn't really help matters because they forbid certain foods and second-guessed their daughter's decisions about food. It's a situation I find myself in repeatedly. I said "sure" to the chips and was happy when she got herself a portion of them and then put the bag away. Some people on here have said "keep all junk out of the house" and others have said "my mom did that and I ate it elsewhere every chance I got." My instinct is to keep the discussion going about food and nutrition but not to forbid anything or ban it from the house.
I have a serious chips addiction. Well, not really serious, but I won't mind finishing a whole bag of cape code or terra blue chips. I troll around whole foods specifically to pick up weird chips and amuse myself.
Then I got the multi-pack cape cod chips with 8 little packets, and that put the brakes on the chips.
Then I got the multi-pack cape cod chips with 8 little packets, and that put the brakes on the chips.
Those little packs of 100 calorie cookies and chips are a total rip-off value-wise but they serve a purpose. "Here's 100 calories. Have a little snack."
Those little packs of 100 calorie cookies and chips are a total rip-off value-wise but they serve a purpose. "Here's 100 calories. Have a little snack."
Stop and Shop card. Buy one, get one free
Target sells them low too. I love their Archer Farms chips
Problem here is - I have seen people shopping for a family, once a month. They stock a whole cart and this where they pick 5 to 8 packets of chips, cheetos etc... and that goes home and runs out faaaaaaast. Kiddies may love the fresh new packets of chips.
I hit the store once in 3 days, to pick up bananas, eggs and soup cans which run out pretty fast. Not very efficient, but I'm never good at stocking and planning (need a babe to help me manage that) and I pick up cape cod chips only if I'm craving. 2 times against 4, I successfully vote against picking it up. But every time, families grocery shop and they pick up loads of snacks.
And those lays chips, Dew, coca cola and pepsi make them in chemical plants, and they load it with crap, artificial mixes and weird potatoes. That helps bloating people pretty fast. Even that multi-grain heart healthy whatever sun chips are loaded with dynamite. The only way to control is little packets
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