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Old 01-18-2012, 05:48 PM
 
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Basically, we told them what we could afford to pay, and told them how much better it would be if they could finish college without loans.

Eldest was of college age when the stock market was riding high, and went to a private school. Our finances aren't quite so rosy now that we have two attending at the same time. Fortunately, we have a very competitive state university that youngest wanted to attend, and a good state scholarship fund for academically strong students. He costs us very little.

Middle wasn't even given a choice. His high school grades screamed "in-state" all the way.

I saw that episode of Parenthood last night. If one of mine had a dream school like Cornell in mind, and made it through admissions, I would do whatever I could to make it happen, as long as they understood they could get a fine education in state without a financial burden upon graduation.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:06 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Ours are fairly cheap. I found a college and a major and basically told my daughter "you should do this" because it seemed to fit her. I wasn't going to force it but she didn't have any better ideas and once she visited the campus she was sold. Everyone is different.
We suggested our kids look into certain fields...of course we are parents, what do we know. They then took a career exploration class and low and behold, all of the career interest surveys pointed to exactly what we though they would be good at. I am looking forward to getting smart again in about 10 years . We've suggested some schools for the kids to look at. One school our son was fine going to see, our daughter, not so much but we made her go anyway--she loved it of course. After visiting the school though, she loved campus, loved the non-academic programs but their program in her major is no where near as strong as the other schools she has looked at so it is last on her list right now. If that program was better, it would be her #1 choice.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:20 PM
 
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My child will be able to go to any college his little heart desires, as long as he can afford it himself that is
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:51 PM
 
Location: You know... That place
1,899 posts, read 2,359,371 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mc33433 View Post
You picked her major for her?
I thought that was surprising too, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that a lot of the time the parents are more equipped to pick a major for their child than the child is. Picking a major can be very hard and can actually make some kids freeze not knowing what direction to go in. The parents know their child. They know their child's strengths and weaknesses. They know their interests and passions. They also know (most of the time) how all of these things can come together into a career. After really thinking about it, I think it is smart for a parent to pick a major (or at the very least, help them decide). Who knows a child better than their parents?
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Old 01-18-2012, 07:33 PM
 
Location: South Dakota
434 posts, read 563,930 times
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Originally Posted by num1baby View Post
I thought that was surprising too, but then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that a lot of the time the parents are more equipped to pick a major for their child than the child is. Picking a major can be very hard and can actually make some kids freeze not knowing what direction to go in. The parents know their child. They know their child's strengths and weaknesses. They know their interests and passions. They also know (most of the time) how all of these things can come together into a career. After really thinking about it, I think it is smart for a parent to pick a major (or at the very least, help them decide). Who knows a child better than their parents?
I think advising your children on their choice of a major, if they don't really have any direction or if they are way off base, is okay, but picking a major is helicopter parenting at its best. Kids need to explore and figure things out on their own, even if that comes at some cost. My wife's parents thought she should study to be k-12 teacher or a nurse. She loved anthropology, so she studied anthro and pissed her parents off. She ended up getting her PhD in cultural geography, an anthro-related field, and has worked as a college professor and dean for almost 20 years. My parents never tried influencing my decision on what to major in and I, by the way, did not **** my parents off .
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Old 01-18-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Northern California
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I think parents should help their children pay for college (providing they have the means to do so). At the same time, it is the parents' money, so they should have veto power.

Deciding on a college depends on the student. It's pointless to spend tons of money if someone is completely undecided; they should go to community college for a couple years at a greatly reduced cost. It's also pointless to spend thousands more on an out of state public school if there are awesome schools in state. Finally, parents should help their children choose a school that is actually good for their major. If there is a choice between several decent schools, pick the best one for a specific major.
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:32 PM
 
Location: North America
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Originally Posted by neohiobound View Post
my child will be able to go to any college his little heart desires, as long as he can afford it himself that is
o.o
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Old 01-18-2012, 10:52 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,725 posts, read 21,905,772 times
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Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I'm watching last night's Parenthood (yes, I realize it is fictional ). SPOLIER ALERT Haddie gets into her dream school, Cornell. Her parents discuss the cost and urge her to keep her options open. Bottom line is they can't afford to send her. So, should they be able to just say "no", or should she still have the option of going if she's willing to take out loans to pay for it? Who gets to decide, and is a HS senior able to understand the burden of coming out of school with 10's of thousands in loans?

My first child is in the midst of the college application process. This post caught my eye.

I did not need to worry about financial aid when I attended college. In my family it was not an issue. I did not realize how fortunate I was.

There is a PLUS loan that is the parents responsibility. The rest are not.
I think if the student can meet the need of a school such as Cornell with loans and grants - and she wants this very much, go for it!
It is highly unlikely that all of her financial needs will be met at a school like Cornell - unless she is an extraordinary student - by Cornell's standards.

I think that it is not a unilateral choice - one that must be made by the student and the parents. Comprise in in order.

An example, do NOT try to fit a "square peg into a round hole"
Our son is an artist. A very good one. He wants to major in Art, and that is a natural choice for him. We have told him that we support this, but that he must attend a liberal arts college (for a number of reasons) and take a minor in a related field - education, Art Therapy or Communications.

I love New England, because I went to college there. He wants to attend a large public mid-western university.
That is his choice not mine.
He will be the student, and he will need to like where he learns.
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:02 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,725 posts, read 21,905,772 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by passwithoutatrace View Post
I think parents should help their children pay for college (providing they have the means to do so). At the same time, it is the parents' money, so they should have veto power.

Deciding on a college depends on the student. It's pointless to spend tons of money if someone is completely undecided; they should go to community college for a couple years at a greatly reduced cost. It's also pointless to spend thousands more on an out of state public school if there are awesome schools in state. Finally, parents should help their children choose a school that is actually good for their major. If there is a choice between several decent schools, pick the best one for a specific major.
That is your opinion. I agree with part of what you wrote. Parents should help if they can.

Community college is not for everyone, nor are state colleges in your state.

"Undecided" is a valid choice when applying to college. I personally went to college as a Theater Arts Major and graduated with a double major in Psych and Sociology. I was 16 when I went to college. Kids change their mind.

It's more than the major - the school has to appeal to the student.
Neither of mine want to go to school in the country. So I'll not be pushing country colleges. They have for example visited Ithaca NY, but are not at all interested in attending either of the institutions in that town.

You want them to like it, do well and NOT DROP OUT - right?
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Old 01-19-2012, 06:28 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,563,437 times
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Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
My first child is in the midst of the college application process. This post caught my eye.

I did not need to worry about financial aid when I attended college. In my family it was not an issue. I did not realize how fortunate I was.

There is a PLUS loan that is the parents responsibility. The rest are not.
I think if the student can meet the need of a school such as Cornell with loans and grants - and she wants this very much, go for it!
It is highly unlikely that all of her financial needs will be met at a school like Cornell - unless she is an extraordinary student - by Cornell's standards.

I think that it is not a unilateral choice - one that must be made by the student and the parents. Comprise in in order.

An example, do NOT try to fit a "square peg into a round hole"
Our son is an artist. A very good one. He wants to major in Art, and that is a natural choice for him. We have told him that we support this, but that he must attend a liberal arts college (for a number of reasons) and take a minor in a related field - education, Art Therapy or Communications.

I love New England, because I went to college there. He wants to attend a large public mid-western university.
That is his choice not mine.
He will be the student, and he will need to like where he learns.
Actually the Ivy's have gone to income based tuition so if you make under $75 K for some or under $60K for others you pay nothing to attend. If you make under $180K you pay 10% of your AGI and your loans are converted into grants for the most part. Harvard's average student loan dept upon graduation is $7000, Cornell caps theirs at $7500. The Ivy's are the most affordable schools in the nation now for 99% of the people.
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