How do parents and kids decide which college? (friend, mother, father)
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I have a dd who wants to go to Cornell and I've told her that she's only going if she goes on scholarships. While I think parents do owe their children a college education, I think they have the right to cap what they'll pay for one.
I think high school kids can understand the financial aspects if you explain them. Once I explained to dd that the difference in pay, for a doctor, between graduating from a top school and the one in our backyard with an excellent medical program is about 20,000/year and not worth her coming out of school with upwards of $100K in student loans. I showed her, on a speadsheet, how long it would take her to break even and asked her if she'd rather have $100K in student loans or a house worth $100K more than she could afford if she had those student loans. She got it. Now her plan is to go to the university in our backyard unless something better comes along. She's still hoping for that but knows that she's, probably, going to the univeristy in our backyard and that that is not a bad decision.
In other threads you are dead set on her going to a "cheaper" state school and the whole CC college thing. You are a teacher and a single parent, correct? You do realize that she will go to Cornell for free based on a teacher's salary, correct?
I'm watching last night's Parenthood (yes, I realize it is fictional ). SPOLIER ALERT Haddie gets into her dream school, Cornell. Her parents discuss the cost and urge her to keep her options open. Bottom line is they can't afford to send her. So, should they be able to just say "no", or should she still have the option of going if she's willing to take out loans to pay for it? Who gets to decide, and is a HS senior able to understand the burden of coming out of school with 10's of thousands in loans?
My daughter's class valedictorian was accepted into Columbia, but Columbia didn't offer any money. Her parents had to tell her no. They just couldn't afford it. She went to the state university instead (Rutgers). In that case, the parents remained firm and their daughter went along with her parents.
OTOH, I am getting into debt for my daughter's education. (So is she, and so is her father.) That was my choice.
Fair enough GG. In our case, only one son ending up staying on campus after his freshman year, and that's because his university built a gorgeous apartment complex for upperclassmen.
Living on campus certainly has it's perks. I would rather pay one price than have to deal with rent increases and utilities. In the case of the two younger boys, their colleges have limited housing, and it's a given that you will move off (but very close) to campus after the freshman year.
I dealt with youngest stating he would never consider going to Clemson after attending a summer camp there. He was totally turned off by the dorms. But, this is a boy who has almost always had his own bedroom and bath. There is nothing wrong with a little communal living when it broadens one's world.
When my daughter was visiting colleges, she was horrified by the dorms and the concept of shared bathrooms down the hall. She begged us to let her go to a more expensive private college, and one of the draws was that it would be suite-style dorms with a common area, a kitchen, and a bathroom in the unit. After successfully appealing the financial aid package at the more expensive school, we let her go there.
She hated it. My daughter is very clean and neat about everything (when she was nine she was bored one night and asked me if she could clean the bathroom) and one of her roommates was filthy as far as cleaning up after herself as well as her personal hygiene. The others used her stuff without asking and left dirty dishes in the sink for days on end. She was the only one who ever cleaned the bathroom or kitchen. My daughter ended up changing her major and transferring to a public college, and after that she was fine with the two-bed dorm and the bathroom down the hall that somebody else cleans.
In the meantime, I listened to all the horror stories of the horrid dirty roommates with an inner smile. I am one of 7 siblings, and my daughter is an only child. She never had to share her space before, and although it wasn't pleasant for her, I think it was good for her to experience that.
When my daughter was visiting colleges, she was horrified by the dorms and the concept of shared bathrooms down the hall. She begged us to let her go to a more expensive private college, and one of the draws was that it would be suite-style dorms with a common area, a kitchen, and a bathroom in the unit. After successfully appealing the financial aid package at the more expensive school, we let her go there.
She hated it. My daughter is very clean and neat about everything (when she was nine she was bored one night and asked me if she could clean the bathroom) and one of her roommates was filthy as far as cleaning up after herself as well as her personal hygiene. The others used her stuff without asking and left dirty dishes in the sink for days on end. She was the only one who ever cleaned the bathroom or kitchen. My daughter ended up changing her major and transferring to a public college, and after that she was fine with the two-bed dorm and the bathroom down the hall that somebody else cleans.
In the meantime, I listened to all the horror stories of the horrid dirty roommates with an inner smile. I am one of 7 siblings, and my daughter is an only child. She never had to share her space before, and although it wasn't pleasant for her, I think it was good for her to experience that.
I had a roommate in college that was an only child, an only child who's parents did EVERYTHING for her. It was an interesting experience that was for sure.
I was under the impression that places like Columbia expect families who make $180,000 or less to contribute 10% of their income. If Columbia doesn't give you money, I can assume that the family makes more than this.
I'm late to the party here, but to go back to the OP:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
I'm watching last night's Parenthood (yes, I realize it is fictional ). SPOLIER ALERT Haddie gets into her dream school, Cornell. Her parents discuss the cost and urge her to keep her options open. Bottom line is they can't afford to send her. So, should they be able to just say "no", or should she still have the option of going if she's willing to take out loans to pay for it? Who gets to decide, and is a HS senior able to understand the burden of coming out of school with 10's of thousands in loans?
I agree with those who say this is an urealistic scenario. OTOH, I also disagree with those who say the student will get scholarships that make it as cheap, or cheaper than going to a state college or university. "May" is a better term to use. I briefly skimmed the Cornell U financial aid website; nowhere does it say that "if you make under $75 K for some or under $60K for others you pay nothing to attend. If you make under $180K you pay 10% of your AGI and your loans are converted into grants for the most part." In fact they give some examples that contradict this statement. http://www.finaid.cornell.edu/types-...l-aid-examples
http://www.finaid.cornell.edu/ Income, assets, family size, and the number of children in college are all considered when calculating the amount your family can contribute.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT
I touched on this in my lengthy post above, but this is my take on it...
A kid who knows what they want to be and is going into a highly competitive field like medicine, finance, engineering, bio-science, law, etc. is probably better served by going to a big name school in that field (most of which are expensive private universities) in order to have a much better shot at getting into a top flight post grad program in their field. For instance, if you want to be a lawyer and don't make the Ivy's, but manage to get into Georgetown, the Georgetown undergrad has a much better shot at getting into Georgetown Law School then a kid from another school.
Where it really doesn't matter is liberal arts. In that case, I would go to the school that represnts the best overall value and then if moving on to grad work, would pick the best school in the field as the grad degree will matter far more than the undergrad and those grad programs tend to be less competitive.
I guess, my overall point is don't pay for your kid to go to a $50k a year school just to earn a philosophy degree. However, the kid who wants to be a lawyer or doctor, is going to get a lot of value out of that $50k a year school.
Frankly, I think anyone who is considering professional school post college should do what they can to minimize debt in undergrad. Med school generally requires taking out in excess of $100K in loans alone. Most of the docs I work with have degrees from state universities in their home state.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it
Speaking of college, let's say you have a child who wants to major in art, philosophy, dance or French. Would you encourage them to take on a double major in something that might actually help them get a job, such as economics or Biology?
Well, neither one of those majors would help the kid get a job w/o going to grad school.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gimme it
I was under the impression that places like Columbia expect families who make $180,000 or less to contribute 10% of their income. If Columbia doesn't give you money, I can assume that the family makes more than this.
I'm late to the party here, but to go back to the OP:
I agree with those who say this is an urealistic scenario. OTOH, I also disagree with those who say the student will get scholarships that make it as cheap, or cheaper than going to a state college or university. "May" is a better term to use. I briefly skimmed the Cornell U financial aid website; nowhere does it say that "if you make under $75 K for some or under $60K for others you pay nothing to attend. If you make under $180K you pay 10% of your AGI and your loans are converted into grants for the most part." In fact they give some examples that contradict this statement. Financial Aid Examples | Financial Aid
http://www.finaid.cornell.edu/ Income, assets, family size, and the number of children in college are all considered when calculating the amount your family can contribute.
Frankly, I think anyone who is considering professional school post college should do what they can to minimize debt in undergrad. Med school generally requires taking out in excess of $100K in loans alone. Most of the docs I work with have degrees from state universities in their home state.
Well, neither one of those majors would help the kid get a job w/o going to grad school.
See above re: Cornell.
My DH is a very gainfully employed economics major with no graduate school as are a lot of his co-workers. Economics majors are very much in demand.
Maybe Cornell specifically hasn't jumped on the income based tuition bandwagon but the rest of the Ivy's have.
I have not read the entire thread, but as the parent of grown children, I can tell you how this works.
Your kid should apply to his ideal schools. He either will, or will not, qualify for financial aid and scholarships. He should also apply to state schools as back up.
If your kid is dumb and mediocre, he will get in to some schools but you will have to pay for it.
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). SPOLIER ALERT Haddie gets into her dream school, Cornell. Her parents discuss the cost and urge her to keep her options open. Bottom line is they can't afford to send her. So, should they be able to just say "no", or should she still have the option of going if she's willing to take out loans to pay for it? Who gets to decide, and is a HS senior able to understand the burden of coming out of school with 10's of thousands in loans?
