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Old 01-31-2012, 10:09 AM
 
654 posts, read 879,101 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Gifted does not necessarily mean genius either, although a lot of people seem to assume that they are the same thing.

I hate to use IQ numbers but they are an easy point of reference so...
There's roughly a mere thirty points between genius at an IQ of 140 and above average over 110, another thirty points between that and borderline mental retardation at an IQ under 80.
On the lower end between 80 and 110, we don't lump all those kids at both ends of the spectrum together and expect them to all have the sames abilities and needs. Kids near the lower range are going to need more help. And everyone seems fine with acknowledging that.
Conversely, I don't really think it's right to say that on the other end all those kids with an IQ over 110 but under 140 should all be lumped together as having the same abilities and needs either. Kids at the higher end face challenges too, yet we aren't fine with acknowledging that.
WHY?
Great post...you said what I was trying to say just a little better.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:18 AM
 
654 posts, read 879,101 times
Reputation: 661
[quote=malamute;22726400]It's everywhere. Parents all over now tend to see their children not as individual people but as some kind of status symbol or extension of themselves. They brag on and on about their gifted child, will be sure to point it out to you in case you might have missed it.


Parents seeing their kids as extensions of themselves really isn't anything new...it just manifests itself in a different way. Many many kids get pushed into sports for this reason. Look at somebody like Tiger Woods...he was pushed into the sport at a very young age. People used to push their kids into marriage with individuals of a certain class to gain status.
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:29 AM
 
1,078 posts, read 2,209,539 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarysPoppins View Post
Good points. I do tell them this. He is happy, empathetic, sweet, kind and so on.

Sadly, so many kids are judged on 'normal' behaviors---are they in sports? (especially boys) or how many friends do they have? Apparently if your kids is not 'normal' it's something you did...but this is best said in the Special Needs Section.
It is beyond sad how some parents base their childs worth on how much further ahead of the pack they are. As far as being "normal"? I hope to God my kids ARE just normal. Normal being a happy childhood, lots of friends, be happy in school, stay away from drugs, alcohol and peer pressure ect....If they go beyond that, then more power to them.
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:02 PM
 
2,779 posts, read 4,497,718 times
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I read somewhere once that something like 90% of mothers of 4yr olds believe their child is gifted.

My son with ADHD is very bright, it definitely has not made life easier for him.

My daughter is a good student because she works hard, I think the whole school experience will be much easier for her.
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:36 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,494,170 times
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Well add Indiana to the list. I don't know if its a middle class thing but the smallish blue collar town we lived in before, parents didnt talk that way. In fact, a lot of parents had a lazy attitude about education which I detested. So we move to Indiana, a middle class to wealthily area and by golly everyone here is raising a genius! I felt like I went from one extreme to the other. Is there is a middle?

When my son was making the transition from Jr. high to high school, there was an informational meeting about the process. It was to only last 30 minutes. It lasted almost 2 hrs. Do you know why? The parents kept raising their hands asking questions about the AP classes and how their little suzy or Johnny was so gifted they wanted to make sure they were going to be on the fast track to college. The teachers and counselors conducting the meeting were patient, had the look of been there, done that but it was annoying to me. I got the feeling it wasn't so much the parents needed the information, seemed more of a brag session. I have a lovely, sensitive, caring kid of average intelligence but it doesn't take long to make a parent of a such a child feel that their future may be DOOOMED! I will be honest, I started to really stress about it. OMG, what will become of my son? Then I settled down and relaxed more but its pretty intense at times.

My son's high school offers 4 diplomas. This was new to me and maybe that is the trend now. I was baffled. When I went to high school, there was one diploma. So there is the Academic diploma that consists of all AP classes. Then there is the Technical diploma which consists of a lot of computer courses. Then there is the Core diploma which consists of some pre-college courses and finally the general diploma, which by the way the district describes it, I thought it was a GED at first. Its actually the state certified diploma, hence a regular high school diploma. I think the education is good but I think it seems pretty intense at the same time. I wanted a more college focused environment but sheesh...be careful what you wish for.

Most of the parents are highly educated but I am truly amazed at the lack of social skills and overall humanity among them. I never met such critical snobs in my life. This attitude is definitely passed on into the school district. A couple of years ago the jr. high teacher had a meeting about how the kids were to do a job shadow experience. Kids needed to research and find a company that would let them job shadow for a day. The teacher said it would give them life experience and help them think about their futures as we don't want our kids working in factories. Well I was appalled. My husband works in a factory and there are two main manufacturing corporations in the area. Some of the parents work there and make a good living. I looked over and saw a man dressed in his work uniform and he shifted uncomfortably after the teacher made his comment. After everyone filtered out I spoke with the teacher alone. I told him how I appreciate that the schools are so focused on college but his comment was a bit offensive as some of us fall more into the blue collar sector verses white collar. The teacher is a nice guy and apologized. He said he felt remorse after his comment rolled off his tongue. He was completely sincere but I can see how he deals with so many parents that a factory type job would be a complete failure in their eyes. What I found amusing as some of my son's friends just job shadowed at their parents work and didnt learn a thing. They hung out in mom or dad's office playing with their iPhone for 8 hrs.

Ahh well. OP thanks for making this thread. It let me b*tch a little.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,551,969 times
Reputation: 7421
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Well add Indiana to the list. I don't know if its a middle class thing but the smallish blue collar town we lived in before, parents didnt talk that way. In fact, a lot of parents had a lazy attitude about education which I detested. So we move to Indiana, a middle class to wealthily area and by golly everyone here is raising a genius! I felt like I went from one extreme to the other. Is there is a middle?

When my son was making the transition from Jr. high to high school, there was an informational meeting about the process. It was to only last 30 minutes. It lasted almost 2 hrs. Do you know why? The parents kept raising their hands asking questions about the AP classes and how their little suzy or Johnny was so gifted they wanted to make sure they were going to be on the fast track to college. The teachers and counselors conducting the meeting were patient, had the look of been there, done that but it was annoying to me. I got the feeling it wasn't so much the parents needed the information, seemed more of a brag session. I have a lovely, sensitive, caring kid of average intelligence but it doesn't take long to make a parent of a such a child feel that their future may be DOOOMED! I will be honest, I started to really stress about it. OMG, what will become of my son? Then I settled down and relaxed more but its pretty intense at times.

My son's high school offers 4 diplomas. This was new to me and maybe that is the trend now. I was baffled. When I went to high school, there was one diploma. So there is the Academic diploma that consists of all AP classes. Then there is the Technical diploma which consists of a lot of computer courses. Then there is the Core diploma which consists of some pre-college courses and finally the general diploma, which by the way the district describes it, I thought it was a GED at first. Its actually the state certified diploma, hence a regular high school diploma. I think the education is good but I think it seems pretty intense at the same time. I wanted a more college focused environment but sheesh...be careful what you wish for.

Most of the parents are highly educated but I am truly amazed at the lack of social skills and overall humanity among them. I never met such critical snobs in my life. This attitude is definitely passed on into the school district. A couple of years ago the jr. high teacher had a meeting about how the kids were to do a job shadow experience. Kids needed to research and find a company that would let them job shadow for a day. The teacher said it would give them life experience and help them think about their futures as we don't want our kids working in factories. Well I was appalled. My husband works in a factory and there are two main manufacturing corporations in the area. Some of the parents work there and make a good living. I looked over and saw a man dressed in his work uniform and he shifted uncomfortably after the teacher made his comment. After everyone filtered out I spoke with the teacher alone. I told him how I appreciate that the schools are so focused on college but his comment was a bit offensive as some of us fall more into the blue collar sector verses white collar. The teacher is a nice guy and apologized. He said he felt remorse after his comment rolled off his tongue. He was completely sincere but I can see how he deals with so many parents that a factory type job would be a complete failure in their eyes. What I found amusing as some of my son's friends just job shadowed at their parents work and didnt learn a thing. They hung out in mom or dad's office playing with their iPhone for 8 hrs.

Ahh well. OP thanks for making this thread. It let me b*tch a little.
lol, you should hang out at Little League practice for a bit, you would be amazed at the pressure. We parents can lose our heads at times.
Don't get me started on little actors and actresses, oh and gymnastics is grueling as well. I think this is just normal. Different people grouped together, it's bound to get annoying at times.
Just as many are jealous of parents like you who act like you have no care in the world believe me. You feel no pressure, must be nice. That kind of thing. There isn't a perfect parent out of the lot of us.
It's nice to vent until you have a group of venters. Then they start to be just as annoying as the rest of us.
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Old 02-01-2012, 10:45 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,494,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
lol, you should hang out at Little League practice for a bit, you would be amazed at the pressure. We parents can lose our heads at times.
Don't get me started on little actors and actresses, oh and gymnastics is grueling as well. I think this is just normal. Different people grouped together, it's bound to get annoying at times.
Just as many are jealous of parents like you who act like you have no care in the world believe me. You feel no pressure, must be nice. That kind of thing. There isn't a perfect parent out of the lot of us.
It's nice to vent until you have a group of venters. Then they start to be just as annoying as the rest of us.
I am not really sure what you are getting at. Are you saying you are among the gifted group and find it annoying that the "ungifted" vent?

My husband coached little league, we know all about that. Ugh. I could tell you horror stories.
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Old 02-01-2012, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,551,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
I am not really sure what you are getting at. Are you saying you are among the gifted group and find it annoying that the "ungifted" vent?


I'm not sure what a gifted group is but I have three unique kids and I will do my best to answer you. Yes, one of them is in a gifted curriculum and two are not. One was also in the "soccer mom" group I guess you'd call it. One also played Little League for a few years and wasn't the best at it. lol So I guess I've got one toe in the "gifted" group and two toes in the "normal" group with a few toenails in the sports groups and a lot of years now to know that all of the groups have all of those people in them. Since my children are no longer little ones I've had a lot of experience meeting with moms and dads in all groups over the years.

There are what people would call braggers, whiners, complainers, dolphins cheerleaders, tigers, cubs, absent, etc..in all of those groups as well as good ol' relaxed parents that never do much of anything to annoy anyone but I know looking back at them they were just as stressed out and wanting to do the best thing without probably knowing what the right thing is exactly. All of them, in all groups, just want it to work out. Are they effective? Who really ever knows for sure. It's just how it is, for every group.


Being in the gifted group I realize that when parents get told their kid is gifted they are thrown into the "oh crap, I hope I don't make them stupid and mess up their education". So, they over compensate. We've all done it, they are not as confident as most like to think and they just want to steer junior where he really needs to go. A lot of people let you know it's in your hands. Who wants to ruin that? Nobody.

Then there are the parents that forbid their kids to enter the gifted programs even when they get tested in. Or they are just happy their child is happy, healthy, etc. They want everything as "normal" as possible. They don't want any added stress to their kids, they see that as the "evil" and they avoid it. Is either better? Who knows, they don't know that either but they try to do what they think is right. It might be right but who knows. Yes, stressed out moms, of course, don't like seeing unstressed parents. It's a bummer for them as well. It goes both ways.

It's the same with sports groups, drama groups, special schools, charter schools, normal as normal can be schools, religious schools. All the same, a variety of parents who think they are doing the right one, the best one.

My now long winded point, , I try to take it all with a grain of salt. It doesn't matter. If some want to vent then fine, vent, but when it becomes a club of venters at school it's just as irritating as a club of braggers. Not a lot of difference. It's just insecurity from all sides, that's all. I think everyone is guilty of it sometimes, those who never do any of it are just lying in my honest opinion. Some people will be irritated that are aren't ever irritated or proud, or whatever. I say to the poster, don't worry about it and politely dismiss yourself when it arrises. No big deal.

Because they call the programs "gifted", or assign the label "gifted child" it's hard to not have conflicts. Hell, if some group was called the "favored" I'd hate them too. Parents of kids in the gifted programs usually hate the label as well. They didn't come up with it and it causes more issues then they want to deal with most of the time. Same with Little League, it's "better" than the rest. Sometimes that sucks too. lol

I don't think their are more gifted kids except for the fact that there is a larger population now. Other than that I think that more people worry about giving their kids the best education so they don't "fall behind". They get vented at either way with this, damned if you do or don't. So, I try to assume most parents are trying to do the best they know how, or at least make it seem that way, even if it isn't a pretty sight. Why let it get to you and your kid, it's just not worth it. It all works out just fine in the end. The below average kid might just grow up to own a company that makes 5 times more money than the gifted kids grant money for his science job. The nerd might marry a cuter girl than the jock. You just never know.

Again, sorry so long winded!

I hope this answers any of the questions or statements I've been getting on my reputation area as well.


My husband coached little league, we know all about that. Ugh. I could tell you horror stories.
I know right!!! Those were the worst ones, sooo much stress. I guess they don't want their kids to be let down, we all remember a time like that ourselves and don't want our kids to feel it. I understand it, but man, it doesn't mean I need to stick around to hear it. lol Glad my son got over his baseball dream.
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Old 02-01-2012, 08:57 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,494,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoppySead View Post
I know right!!! Those were the worst ones, sooo much stress. I guess they don't want their kids to be let down, we all remember a time like that ourselves and don't want our kids to feel it. I understand it, but man, it doesn't mean I need to stick around to hear it. lol Glad my son got over his baseball dream.
I haven't really come across a thread until this one where someone questions why everyone thinks their child is gifted. Maybe I missed all the others. So I have to admit it was nice to know that I wasn't alone in this thinking. When I was a kid, sure they were the smart kids, honor roll kids but there wasn't such a force of parents making their child stand out. I think this is what the post was about. A parent with an average kid trying to pass off they are above average because they have quirks. My brother has ADHD and no one really thought it was special when he was growing up. It was more of a fault, so I am glad that the thinking is changing but being unique doesn't always mean you are special. They was always the soccer moms, the over harsh sports dads etc but when it comes to academics, it is a different air. Kind of like my kid may very well be the next Bill Gates and your child will be nothing attitude. There is more sensitivity regarding academics than physical achievements. Our society values the high IQ and well most of us are just average. So with so many average folks out there why are there so many "gifted" children?
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:29 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,551,969 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
I haven't really come across a thread until this one where someone questions why everyone thinks their child is gifted. Maybe I missed all the others. So I have to admit it was nice to know that I wasn't alone in this thinking. When I was a kid, sure they were the smart kids, honor roll kids but there wasn't such a force of parents making their child stand out. I think this is what the post was about. A parent with an average kid trying to pass off they are above average because they have quirks. My brother has ADHD and no one really thought it was special when he was growing up. It was more of a fault, so I am glad that the thinking is changing but being unique doesn't always mean you are special. They was always the soccer moms, the over harsh sports dads etc but when it comes to academics, it is a different air. Kind of like my kid may very well be the next Bill Gates and your child will be nothing attitude. There is more sensitivity regarding academics than physical achievements. Our society values the high IQ and well most of us are just average. So with so many average folks out there why are there so many "gifted" children?
So, you weren't alone in your thinking that gifted kids are everywhere and driving you insane enough to think of moving? That's what this thread is about. It's a bash session on a particular group of people. So, your glad you get to bash away as well. Great, I get that.

If you personally think our society values the high IQ more than physical achievements now that's interesting. How many famous nerds can you list in the last 25 years, now how many famous athletes can you name? So, for once people are hyped that a nerd like Bill Gates is popular. Wow, so what? It will pass like everything else. Let the nerds enjoy everyone else wanting to be them for a while and let it go.

This thread is simply a bash thread on gifted kids and their parents, nothing more. Assumptions galore, whining, pity party.

So you are annoyed with the parents who think their kids are more special than yours, I got that, but it's the "only when it deals with education" part I'm at a loss with.
Bragging parents are annoying, yes, but they are annoying across the board, it's not just when it comes to education. They are everywhere. Certain people are braggers but not "all gifted parents." That's ridiculous.

If more people being concerned with their kids education bothers you then that's a different thread altogether. You might start that one and see where it leads but this thread is just a ***** session. Poor normal me in a sea of people who think they are gifted, please tell me where to move to get away from this hell. I'm so grounded compared to them I don't think I can take another minute.
You want to vent, great, but don't read something into it that isn't there.
Like I said before, I'd take it with a grain of salt and maybe not even a grain.

There really isn't that many gifted kids out there. What is a "want to be gifted" anyway. If they pass the test, do the work, who cares if they are truly a gift or not? Your child has the exact same opportunities and if those kids aren't really gifted then that means your kids can study, take the test and be one if you chose. It's a win win, either you want it or not, it's easy to get into now.
Good for all of them, we have been bitching as a society for years to up education, telling parents they never do anything and that the teachers can't do it all and now that parents are doing more we hate them for it? Hogwash, jealousy stinks, a lot.
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