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Old 01-24-2012, 12:46 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 3,978,077 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
No I wasn't trying to be obnoxious! Sorry, if I came across that way. But it wouldn't be truthful of me to say that I am indifferent as to whether or not my kids have children...Of course I have hopes and dreams for my kids.

In truth, my children are one of my greatest joys. But I totally understand how another person may find their own joy elsewhere.

What works well for one person, might not work so well for another. Don't ever let anyone (parents included) put you on the defensive for saying and doing what is right for you. It is your life.
I understand. I guess I'd like to just remind the pronatalogists out there that sometimes it is annoying to hear "never say never" or "you never know, you might change your mind". I didn't take it personally.
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Old 01-24-2012, 12:59 PM
 
Location: California
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Both of my kids say this now. Granted they are 21 and 25 and single, but neither of them has ever liked kids. I never liked kids much except my own. I have to wonder if they meet and marry a certain type of person person if they will change their minds? Time will tell. First, they both need someone to date! One step at a time...
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
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At first, I'd probably go into a major emotional meltdown, wondering what I/we did wrong. Then I'd wonder what was wrong with them....too selfish, self centered, irreponsible, etc. Then, I'd realize just how fortunate I was to have raised a human being who wasn't about to go out and make children that they didn't want, just because other people thought they should. Yeah, I've given it a lot of thought. LOL
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
Both of my kids say this now. Granted they are 21 and 25 and single, but neither of them has ever liked kids. I never liked kids much except my own. I have to wonder if they meet and marry a certain type of person person if they will change their minds? Time will tell. First, they both need someone to date! One step at a time...
I'm the same way. I don't care much for kids other than my own. If they never have kids, I wouldn't care. If they do, I'll feel some sort of justice has been served lol! (meaning, they have to go through what we did when they were babies/toddlers!).
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Old 01-24-2012, 01:32 PM
 
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I would be fine with that, better to not have them, than have them, and leave them at Grandma's house for 18 years. Maybe my daughter will have an awesome career, and be so involved with her career she does not want children. Doubt that...she is only 19, and routinely looks at baby clothes, baby stuff, she is riveted by that stuff...scary!!!

I never even touched a baby until I had one, children never interested me, I knew they existed, but I never really touched one or looked at them, or really wanted one...and then....surprise! So, you never know...never say never...

Last edited by jasper12; 01-24-2012 at 01:34 PM.. Reason: edit
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:18 PM
 
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I would be very sad. I would love to be Granny!
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Old 01-24-2012, 02:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peppermint View Post
I understand. I guess I'd like to just remind the pronatalogists out there that sometimes it is annoying to hear "never say never" or "you never know, you might change your mind". I didn't take it personally.
A read a quote somewhere that went something like this: "Before you have kids, all of your options - whether or not to have kids, how many kids to have, whether to have them naturally or adopt, etc. - are all open. But once you have a child, that's it. You're a parent. No turning back."

I thought that was an interesting point of view.
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:07 PM
 
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I think to directly answer the question, "how would I feel", I think I would be disappointed, I know my wife would be. That doesn't mean that I think they are wrong, or horrible people for making that choice, just that I would be disappointed in them making that choice. Some of it also depends on how they came to that decision. I think I would only be vocal about it if I had known that they always wanted children, but were giving that up in order to please their partner. Ultimately, they need to make the choice that is right for them. However, I'm still allowed to have my feelings.
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:20 PM
 
2,319 posts, read 3,978,077 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
A read a quote somewhere that went something like this: "Before you have kids, all of your options - whether or not to have kids, how many kids to have, whether to have them naturally or adopt, etc. - are all open. But once you have a child, that's it. You're a parent. No turning back."

I thought that was an interesting point of view.
My husband heard an interview on NPR sometime ago about this very thing. It turns out that according to some study somewhere (I forget the details) people who can change a decision tend to be less happy with their choices (i.e. marriage here in the U.S. or college choices, etc. - anything you can change or reverse). People who cannot change a decision tend to be happier about their choice (i.e. having a baby). The reason is because if you're "stuck" with the decision, people tend to be happy about it. Weird and, yet, it makes sense. (I hope I articulated that well).

All-
Maybe this is an issue that I'm just too sensitive about. It's been a question thrown at my husband and I for about nine years now. The response of others is always the same (see quotes in previous posts). I keep seeing variations posted in this thread, and I just keep rolling my eyes. Of course, people can change their minds or be careless with protection, but that doesn't need saying all the time.

I adore my mom because she never, ever does this, and she defends us to other people. She's constantly asked, "Don't you want ---- to have children?" My mom says, "That's none of my business. They are the ones who will be raising it, not me." Once she told my cousin, "She doesn't have to have children. Her sister has enough for the both of them." (My sister has four kids.) Gotta love a mother that lets her kids have their own lives.
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Old 01-24-2012, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,307,968 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
And i mean they have hit their mid 20's to early 30's, and are married and told you this?
Relieved.
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