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Old 01-31-2012, 06:33 AM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
346 posts, read 428,518 times
Reputation: 506

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My kids know what language is acceptable for THEM and in our house. They know we cuss on occasion, hubby more than I do, but children are not allowed to talk like that. I have told them repeatedly that people who insist on using cuss words have a limited vocabulary and it shows that they aren't very intelligent that they can't come up with a better way to express themselves. I tell them cuss words are only for when someone needs to express an extreme emotion and not for everyday use also.

My kids have no problem NOT cussing around me or their peers. If I hear other kids speaking with language I don't like, I tell them we don't talk like that in our house, or I just cringe when they say the offending language and after they leave I remind my kids not to talk like that.

Case in point: my step daughter who is 22 years old recently took up the habit of smoking, and my 13 year old told me about it with disgust in his voice. I agreed that it was a shame and said, she's not very...." and before I could finish my sentence he supplied the word "smart" and went on to say in a disparaging tone, "she also cusses a lot in front of me and her boys."
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:29 AM
 
Location: USA
18,590 posts, read 13,715,790 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
So the young black boys and girls using it must really hate each other then huh?
And hence the problem with trying to control speach, you can't do it.
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Old 01-31-2012, 02:55 PM
 
2,490 posts, read 3,616,037 times
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Try the old fashioned method of putting a bar of soap in your child's mouth.

My Grandma used to put hot sauce on my mom and uncle's tongue.

I remember I got smacked in the mouth when I repeated the "F" word after hearing my dad say it... another time I said a cuss word to my mother, she sure gave me a belt whooping. Not that I recommend physically disciplining your child for this reason...

However, when I hopefully eventually have kids and they get to the stage where they start experimenting with language. I'll let them know the first few times that swear words are not nice words and they are not to be said, especially out in public and around your elders. I would also teach them that it's a sin to use swear and to make up or use other words to replace swear words. Darn instead of d*mn, frick instead of f*ck, son of a gun instead of son of a b*tch as well as heck instead of h*ll. I'm going to be very strict with my kids about how they speak as I don't want them to have a salty mouth. The same will apply for derogatory terms like ni*ger, wh*re, etc.

Last edited by 90sman; 01-31-2012 at 03:09 PM..
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Old 02-01-2012, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,194 posts, read 1,513,983 times
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Little children shouldn't be cursing at all especially around parents or adults; its called having respect.
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Old 02-01-2012, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,589 posts, read 10,334,263 times
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Ignore it.. - and NEVER laugh or think it's cute...teach the children about diginity..about being more than a little animal...well actually....animals do not curse - they growl and threaten and sometimes bite - Frankly kids swearing is not a real issue - I have an old mother in law - who puts more attention on superfical stuff like "proper non-vulgar language" - Yet she has the darkest of hearts....It's not important ---I would rather have a kid who used the F bomb - than a kid that was a liar...and vile hater....
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Old 02-01-2012, 11:46 AM
 
Location: The "Rock"
2,551 posts, read 2,329,870 times
Reputation: 1317
I cursed at my mother when I was around 8 years old... she promptly popped me in the mouth and told me that she didnt care what I said around my friends but I better not ever curse at or around her again.

And to this day I have not cursed at or around my mother since.

So I would say that works...
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Old 02-02-2012, 09:48 AM
 
19,923 posts, read 10,589,235 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by operaphantom2003 View Post
Thought I had it all worked out with my son (7 years old) last Friday when he got mad at me and showed he learned two new words from school. Well, after a day of grounding and being told what those words meant he said he was not happy that he said it. I mentioned to his teacher that perhaps a reminder on the school rules to "be respectful" may be in order. Monday they watched their language, Tuesday the "B" word is being flung around after school by some girls who ran off after the teacher was told. Today my son proudly announced that he knew what the "N" word was...checked and yep he does. Small lecture about that and "never say it again", blah blah blah. He says that "everyone" (meaning the hoods he hangs out with) says it. Well, no they don't. He never acted this was until this year. Any advice on how to curb this for good?

Note: I never use these words at anytime. Best when you get mad to suck it up and walk away.
I raised my kids the Catholic way--through fear and intimidation!

I told my little girl (who is 26 now) when she was little that every time she lies or uses the lord's name in vain it puts a black spot on her otherwise white soul. Being a girl who loved everything neat and clean and orderly this was highly effective.

My sons were another story. I told them since Jesus was a carpenter he would appreciate it if they would pound a nail in a a piece of wood for every swear word or sin they commit. For every day they don't swear or commit a sin they could pull one out.

At least it kept them busy for a while, I don't know if it really worked.

When they got a little older (teenagers) I was not as strict but still to this day do not allow any swearing in front of their mother and they know it.
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Old 02-02-2012, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,237 posts, read 23,800,738 times
Reputation: 19907
Quote:
Originally Posted by 90sman View Post
Try the old fashioned method of putting a bar of soap in your child's mouth.

My Grandma used to put hot sauce on my mom and uncle's tongue.

I remember I got smacked in the mouth when I repeated the "F" word after hearing my dad say it... another time I said a cuss word to my mother, she sure gave me a belt whooping. Not that I recommend physically disciplining your child for this reason...

However, when I hopefully eventually have kids and they get to the stage where they start experimenting with language. I'll let them know the first few times that swear words are not nice words and they are not to be said, especially out in public and around your elders. I would also teach them that it's a sin to use swear and to make up or use other words to replace swear words. Darn instead of d*mn, frick instead of f*ck, son of a gun instead of son of a b*tch as well as heck instead of h*ll. I'm going to be very strict with my kids about how they speak as I don't want them to have a salty mouth. The same will apply for derogatory terms like ni*ger, wh*re, etc.


When I was 5 years old, after playing with my dinasaurs, i told my mother to shut up, she got the ivory soap bar from the kitchen sink, grabbed me and put it in my mouth. I am now, older than dirt, and have never, nor will ever tell her to shut up again.
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Old 02-02-2012, 02:41 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
27,378 posts, read 15,087,470 times
Reputation: 20912
I'm going to say the whole washing the mouth out with soap - didn't work.

I had it done to me when I was younger and it certainly didn't stop me from cursing - probably had the opposite effect in my teen-age years.

My son doesn't curse in front of me but I have no illusions that he does not say some curse words when he is with friends. As long as he knows to be discreet - it's a non-issue for me. He's got some class about him so I think he knows when and where certain words might be tolerated and when they might not.

The 'n' word is one that would never be tolerated . . along with the 'c' word that someone else mentioned. Those two are off limits and frankly, I don't think he would say them. He's a smart guy.
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Old 02-03-2012, 05:42 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 2,893,468 times
Reputation: 1948
This was an issue as our daughters were growing up because their father would swear as he built something or got really annoyed.
I don't believe in the "don't do as I do, do as I say" hypocrisy so indeed, I heard some words from them that weren't appropriate.

I had to have talks with them about how it was indeed wrong for Daddy to say, and that they weren't as pretty when they did. I also explained that they were wrong to speak like that and might get their friends to do so, too and get into trouble with their parents, etc.
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