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Old 01-30-2012, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,143 posts, read 22,112,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
See the quote from the OP---my advice was for one of them to find a job that gave them flexibility. In THEIR situation, neither one of them has job flexibility which is why something needs to give...

And had you left it at that, there wouldn't be an issue.
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Old 01-30-2012, 05:52 PM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,737,691 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
See the quote from the OP---my advice was for one of them to find a job that gave them flexibility. In THEIR situation, neither one of them has job flexibility which is why something needs to give...
yes, flexibility is great. I don't think I ever said otherwise.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
One parent needs a job with flexibility. I would start looking now. How are you going to take care of the kids when one is sick...and then the next one catches it. There is 2 weeks gone right there. How about getting to functions at school? Will you just skip them? I don't know if weather is an issue but what will you do if the kids are home from school for a snow day or whatever but you still have to work? How much of that second income do you really bring home after commuting costs, daycare, etc.? It only gets worse as the kids get older and want to be in sports, clubs, etc. and can't because there isn't anyone to take them.
Woah, there are such a thing as sick days. Most parents pick and choose what school functions to attend. MY mother and father, back in the '70s didn't go to every little thing I did, and I grew up just fine.

Are you trying to turn this into a SAHM vs WP conversation? I sure hope not.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
I am not sure if this was sarcastic or not..
. But how do they manage?
I am asking because I truly do not know what I would di if my kids were sick, and I had to leave work to get them from school? How many jobs are flexible with things like that?
I know coming from a past director's standpoint, in my industry, it wasn't tolerated very much.

Last year, my youngest was out of school for 7 days straight.... She had a horrible strain of the flu and ran a fever for 5 of those days. What do parents do in situations like this? Do employers really just say "ok"?

I have absolutely no one to rely on with no family around and my husband is away most of the time. It just seems overwhelming to me.

Also, who does take the kids to their activities? Most of my daughtwr's activities are right after school ( around 4pm). I know that our child care program doesn't take care of any transportation.
I guess I would ask a working parent you know in real life. They would be happy to share!
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
The OP said they have NO flexibility with their schedules and only 10 days of vacation--that is the issue, not what they do for a living. Other working families make it work because at least one parent has some flexibility in their schedule or they have live in help to combat that. It doesn't work to raise kids and have a strict working schedule with limited vacation time, period.
Give it a rest. You are derailing this conversation.
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Old 01-30-2012, 07:53 PM
 
20,793 posts, read 52,373,875 times
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Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
Give it a rest. You are derailing this conversation.
Um, no, that IS the conversation--the OP asked how to make it work when they have 2 working parents with no job flexibility...
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:05 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 14,899,006 times
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Originally Posted by blakeas View Post
I have 2 kids - One is about to start kindergarden in the fall and the other is 16 months old.

My wife and I both work fulltime so we have utilized daycare throughout our kids lives. We dont live by family so we do not have any help.

My question is - How do other people do it in terms of when your child goes to kindergarden and has the summers off? Do other people just use camps for all summer? We both have full time jobs with no flexibility except we both get 2 weeks vacation.

Anyway, I am just trying to understand how everyone else does it - Thanks in advance for suggestions!
Here's the OP's first post. Not really sure how asking How much of that second income do you really bring home after commuting costs, daycare, etc.? answers the question of how other WORKING PARENTS balance days off, vacations, etc.
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Old 01-30-2012, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
1,078 posts, read 938,339 times
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My ex and split shifts. I worked nights and she worked days. I wouldn't recommend doing that though.

My cousin has a friend who is a SAHP whose children attend the same school. His friend picks up on early dismissal days his daughter from school. My cousin uses a babysitter during summer. He does babysit and does work for his friend.

My oldest son and his partner have custody of their granddaughter. She goes to preschool Mon-Thurs from 8-11:30. My son's partner works from 5am-12:30pm Mon-Fri and my son works from 7am-4:30pm Mon-Thurs My great-granddaugther goes over to a friend of theirs at 6am and this friend takes her to preschool and picks her up. If she's sick or there is no school, she stays with the friend until her grandmother picks her up.
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Old 01-31-2012, 05:09 AM
 
2,252 posts, read 4,312,915 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
Here's the OP's first post. Not really sure how asking How much of that second income do you really bring home after commuting costs, daycare, etc.? answers the question of how other WORKING PARENTS balance days off, vacations, etc.
To be fair, the OP did ask how people manage once the kids are in school. Some people might go in to "let's figure out how to manage this" mode by evaluating their job flexibility or lack thereof, the daycare and commuting costs they incur and things like that.

Perhaps the tone put some posters off but I would imagine an evaluation of everything would be in order for this couple. The OP has distinctly said that their jobs offer zero flexibility so telling them to arrange taking turns and whatnot may not be feasible. In this economy, people can't just up and leave their job because the employer is not flexible. Also, not everyone lives in an area where people are neighborly. That is most unfortunate, but true.

I would take the advice that others have offered to speak to other dual income couples and see what works. This can be helpful if the people you are speaking to are in similar circumstances though. Not everyone can just get up and hire outside help or pay for day camp. Here, a 6 week day camp can run $3k or more and they fill up and close registration quickly because parents have no choice but to pay.
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:12 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,981,619 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
To be fair, the OP did ask how people manage once the kids are in school. Some people might go in to "let's figure out how to manage this" mode by evaluating their job flexibility or lack thereof, the daycare and commuting costs they incur and things like that.

Perhaps the tone put some posters off but I would imagine an evaluation of everything would be in order for this couple. The OP has distinctly said that their jobs offer zero flexibility so telling them to arrange taking turns and whatnot may not be feasible. In this economy, people can't just up and leave their job because the employer is not flexible. Also, not everyone lives in an area where people are neighborly. That is most unfortunate, but true.

I would take the advice that others have offered to speak to other dual income couples and see what works. This can be helpful if the people you are speaking to are in similar circumstances though. Not everyone can just get up and hire outside help or pay for day camp. Here, a 6 week day camp can run $3k or more and they fill up and close registration quickly because parents have no choice but to pay.
The OP already has two small children. both of whom are presumably in some kind of daycare. The cost of having an infant or toddler (pre-potty training) in full-time daycare is more than having a school-aged child in the summer "camps" put on by a daycare center. ... At least, it was when I had kids that age.

The OP doesn't have to do much different from what he is doing now. The costs for having two children in daycare will go down when they are older and potty-trained, then down even more when they start school and only after-school care is needed, then up over the summer when the kids need to be at daycare all day--but that cost will still probably be lower than what he is paying now. If he just doesn't get too comfortable with the lower cost (braces himself for summer), he'll be fine.

Edit: Oops, forgot that one child is already older (entering kindergarten).

Last edited by JustJulia; 01-31-2012 at 06:27 AM..
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