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Old 01-31-2012, 10:39 AM
 
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I would think one of the primary emotions I would feel would be guilt that I wasn't able to stop it.

My husband's sister suffers from mental illness, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. The constant stress of 3:00 am phone calls caused my husband to finally admit he wished she would just get it over with. It was very hard on the entire family and it became a balancing act of trying not to give her attention for her seemingly half-hearted attempts.

 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I would think one of the primary emotions I would feel would be guilt that I wasn't able to stop it.

My husband's sister suffers from mental illness, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. The constant stress of 3:00 am phone calls caused my husband to finally admit he wished she would just get it over with. It was very hard on the entire family and it became a balancing act of trying not to give her attention for her seemingly half-hearted attempts.
That's harsh. Maybe some people just aren't worth saving, especially if they are a burden.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime View Post
...would you be able to move forward and be happy? Say you have three children and the oldest and your only daughter or son kills himself / herself. Would you be able to forgive him or her? What if your child had a history of suicide attempts and suffered from depression even after many years of therapy, medication and having nothing work?

If you know someone who has lost their child through suicide, how long did it take afterwards from them to heal?
So I'm wondering about what sparked your question. Is this an academic exercise or something someone you know is going through?

To answer, I believe most parents would say that "healing" doesn't happen, you just keep living. I believe that the death of a child is probably the most painful thing a parent can experience, perhaps even more so if it is at his/her own hand. I used to be a therapist to the chronically suicidal. Family and parent reactions to suicide attempts and completions run the gamut of emotions. The grieving process is complicated by the element of self-inflicted harm.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:48 AM
 
12,922 posts, read 19,809,103 times
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Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime View Post
That's harsh. Maybe some people just aren't worth saving, especially if they are a burden.
And yet, 15 years or so since her last attempt, she's still alive and coping. The only one who could save her was herself.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:50 AM
 
Location: New England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime View Post
...would you be able to move forward and be happy? Say you have three children and the oldest and your only daughter or son kills himself / herself. Would you be able to forgive him or her? What if your child had a history of suicide attempts and suffered from depression even after many years of therapy, medication and having nothing work?

If you know someone who has lost their child through suicide, how long did it take afterwards from them to heal?

I've been friends with families who have lost their respective son/daughter, and truthfully, as the same with everyone who greives... it never really heals. You just suffer less or become stronger.

I recently lost a friend to overdose and with talking to his parents as their outlet, there's no end in healing.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
So I'm wondering about what sparked your question. Is this an academic exercise or something someone you know is going through?

To answer, I believe most parents would say that "healing" doesn't happen, you just keep living. I believe that the death of a child is probably the most painful thing a parent can experience, perhaps even more so if it is at his/her own hand. I used to be a therapist to the chronically suicidal. Family and parent reactions to suicide attempts and completions run the gamut of emotions. The grieving process is complicated by the element of self-inflicted harm.
All of this is hypothetical.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
And yet, 15 years or so since her last attempt, she's still alive and coping. The only one who could save her was herself.
Yes, this exactly. It is very difficult to be the family member of someone struggling with suicidal urges. I would never judge something said by a family member out of frustration, pain and feeling helpless in the situation.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,653 posts, read 7,268,107 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime View Post
...would you be able to move forward and be happy? Say you have three children and the oldest and your only daughter or son kills himself / herself. Would you be able to forgive him or her? What if your child had a history of suicide attempts and suffered from depression even after many years of therapy, medication and having nothing work?

If you know someone who has lost their child through suicide, how long did it take afterwards from them to heal?
I know a family who went through this, it was really hard for them, especially the mom. As a matter a fact, I know two families, not good. I hope I never find out personally. One was a family I worked for and the other was my grandparents next door neighbor, both were male, I also knew an adult male, with a wife and 2 boys who did this 5 years ago.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Originally Posted by TiltheEndofTime View Post
All of this is hypothetical.
Well, hypothetical for you, maybe. It is a pretty upsetting thing to think about as a parent.
 
Old 01-31-2012, 11:03 AM
 
1,372 posts, read 1,729,356 times
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Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Well, hypothetical for you, maybe. It is a pretty upsetting thing to think about as a parent.
Depends on the parent. My dad told me "that's fine" when I told him his behavior made me suicidal. And then he proceeded to say some pretty mean things to me. And then I have a mom who is too stressed out to care.
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