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Old 02-06-2012, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
3,866 posts, read 7,072,231 times
Reputation: 5113

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
In his plan every child would have a mother AND a father to love them.
Well, "his" plan obviously is not working because there are so many children out here suffering with parents who truly do not love them. Just check the news headlines everyday and there is another sad case of a parent doing harm to their kids.

'I'm sorry. Goodbye,' father says in e-mail before killing self, 2 sons - CNN.com

I think if a person has the means, the love, the shelter and the capacity to bring a child into the world and give them a good life then who are we (or anyone) to tell them they should not? Children are born into the world everday under a multitude of circumstances, some bad and some good but that alone does not predict what kid of life they will be or who they will turn out to be. But the best start they can have is witha parent that wants them dearly and will be whatever they can for them.


I think the OP should explore her every option for having a child, single or not.

And to the OP, don't ever let anyone tell YOU how and when or what circumstances need to be in plae to have your child. You do what is best for you and your future baby.

I wish you well!
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:41 AM
 
1,253 posts, read 1,781,596 times
Reputation: 2539
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
The truth can hurt, but it is certainly never "mean" to state it.

The fact is, it takes quite the entitlement mentality to believe you have the RIGHT to bring a child into this world PURPOSELY without a man prepared to be its father.

What about the child's rights??

Several posters on this thread have attested to have difficult their lives were without fathers.

Go ahead and discount their stories since the truth is apparently so inconvenient to some of you women.
Come on, lovesMountains. The child's rights of existence or non-existence, you mean???

Where is the logic in this argument?

You are essentially saying without the mother-father construct set up in advance, the child does not have the right to exist? What does that even mean?

The posters on this thread who "have attested to how difficult their lives were without fathers" might consider the alternatives their mothers had, and thank their mom every day for choosing life for them, because as much as life is a struggle, their moms surely did the best job they could.

Anyone ready for a list of famous, incredible people raised without a dad in the home?
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:41 AM
 
460 posts, read 549,557 times
Reputation: 741
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdinmigration View Post
Yep, sure. She could have decided not to do this. At all. Then you wouldn't be able to take her down like you have in your post here. Because you would not exist at all.

You have your own family, husband & kids. Thank her.

You have 'plenty of resources'. Thank her.

You have a busy, busy life, too busy for the "needy" woman who made the decision to HAVE YOU.

Mod cut: Personal attack.
My mother made a selfish choice. I'm not going to thank her for life. Never existing is not a terrible thing. It's not like death.

Second, I shared a snippet of my story here. Please do not assume anything. I can assure you that she has little to do with my success. My grandmother (deceased) and aunt (who has since died of cancer) can take their share of my success. I am an extremely driven person. My mother is lazy. I've been taking care of her since I was 9 years old. She hasn't raised me. I raised myself. I will not thank her for my husband. She had nothing to do with that. I will not thank her for my kids. Again, she has nothing to do with that. Sometimes driven people overcome the odds against them and do great things DESPITE their family situation. That doesn't make it a good idea for others to use them as a positive example. I don't see why you think I'm egotistical.

Yes, don't have a child like me. You will not get out of it what you want. Not all parents are deserving of respect. If you can do a better job as a single mom than my mom....kudos to you. I hope that's the case. It's still not an easy road for the kids or yourself, and I say that as a mom.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 02-06-2012 at 11:08 AM..
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:49 AM
 
4,230 posts, read 5,893,725 times
Reputation: 5308
Some people shouldn't have children period. I grew up with a mother and a father, but to be honest, they were two people who should not have had children for a plethora of reasons.

Some men are destined to be fathers regardless of a mother figure and some women are destined to be mothers regardless of a father figure and just because these people aren't meant to be husbands or wives does not rob them of the right to be amazing parents.

A mother and father does not make a perfect family.
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,919,302 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdinmigration View Post
Come on, lovesMountains. The child's rights of existence or non-existence, you mean???

Where is the logic in this argument?

You are essentially saying without the mother-father construct set up in advance, the child does not have the right to exist? What does that even mean?

The posters on this thread who "have attested to how difficult their lives were without fathers" might consider the alternatives their mothers had, and thank their mom every day for choosing life for them, because as much as life is a struggle, their moms surely did the best job they could.

Anyone ready for a list of famous, incredible people raised without a dad in the home?
Yes, and please include proof that these famous, incredible people didn't wish they had a dad in their home.
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Old 02-06-2012, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,589 posts, read 10,328,016 times
Reputation: 9271
Quote:
Originally Posted by findly185 View Post
Some people shouldn't have children period. I grew up with a mother and a father, but to be honest, they were two people who should not have had children for a plethora of reasons.

Some men are destined to be fathers regardless of a mother figure and some women are destined to be mothers regardless of a father figure and just because these people aren't meant to be husbands or wives does not rob them of the right to be amazing parents.
Could it be that you had some sort of Leave it to Beaver fantacy about what you expected your parents to be? Sounds like you turne out all right after being raised by these inadequates.


I got the same thing..from people that your parents got..."He's a playboy" -from my wives grandmother...."He's a musican and they are bums and won't be able to support a child" - from my mother inlaw..."He's an artist and to poor to have children" - got that from everyone...in the end all of my detractors ended up divorced - had kids that committed suicide - or ended up doing hard time in the pen -------------------for such a loser - I came out a winner - with four lovely adult chidren...and we are still a tight family...I was a good father and still am...Now that the kids have matured - they understand that dad is a good man....and a great protector....sounds like the previous writer never got to know who his parents were.
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:05 AM
 
4,230 posts, read 5,893,725 times
Reputation: 5308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oleg Bach View Post
Could it be that you had some sort of Leave it to Beaver fantacy about what you expected your parents to be? Sounds like you turne out all right after being raised by these inadequates.
I did turn out just fine considering...just saying having a mother and a father means nothing. I would have much rather had one parent who actually really wanted a child then have the typical mother father child scenario where neither parent should have had a child.

There are variations everywhere. The OP should not sit on this waiting for a man (regardless of his issues) to come along and impregnate her for the sake of saving face and being able to say "well I tried it the cookie-cuter way".
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:05 AM
 
Location: tampa bay
6,450 posts, read 6,466,333 times
Reputation: 9482
Some people have terrible parents and are still successful and happy...some people have great parents and are failures and miserable...it's a mystery to me!
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,589 posts, read 10,328,016 times
Reputation: 9271
A good woman can find a good man...a poor spirited woman can not...cos no good man would have her - and maybe this person understands that - - that she is not worth the trouble - nothing more irritating than to hear the rants of some feminist eccentric go on and on for 18 years - no good man would put up with that - I suggest the turkey baster..make sure that if you get a sperm doner that it is a passive little girly man...don't want a child that is smarter or stronger that you...do you?
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,589 posts, read 10,328,016 times
Reputation: 9271
To clarify - It's about giving up some control - if you want a baby - with a man - you have to give something up - like not having total control over everything and everybody..maybe that's the problem - she wants a baby but does not want to pay the price?
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