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Old 03-06-2013, 10:41 AM
 
12,458 posts, read 14,602,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
I take a different view. In my view, women cannot be a substitute father. Regardless of how capable she is of being a mother, a woman is doing the child a disservice by choosing to raise it without a father.

I feel quite a bit of enmity toward women who choose to raise a kid without a father. Morally speaking, that's up there with child abuse... something I feel its important for society to cast shame on, for the sake of the poor child who has no control over the matter.
Choosing to raise a child without a father doesn't mean that there can't be men in the childs life. Do you feel the same enmity towards men who abandon their children, and leave the mother with no choice? Society should concentrate more on casting shame on the many, many MEN who sire children with no intents to be there for them...A woman has every right (yes right) to have a child of her own, and if that was dependent on her having a man in her life as well we all know there's be a lot less children in the world.
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Center of the universe
24,757 posts, read 32,943,865 times
Reputation: 11780
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Choosing to raise a child without a father doesn't mean that there can't be men in the childs life. Do you feel the same enmity towards men who abandon their children, and leave the mother with no choice?
First of all, a woman who decides to have a child on her own has already denied that child the opportunity to grow up with two parents; in practice that is the same thing a man does when he abandons his child. The only difference between the two situations is that in one the woman makes a bad decision and in the other, the man makes a bad decision. Both deserve our enmity.

Quote:
Society should concentrate more on casting shame on the many, many MEN who sire children with no intents to be there for them...
Why? And how do you know that in every case, the man even knows that a woman has had his child? Are you as willing to condemn women who abort children that the fathers do want? Or is that a woman's "right" or "choice?"

Quote:
A woman has every right (yes right) to have a child of her own, and if that was dependent on her having a man in her life as well we all know there's be a lot less children in the world.

So.......the child's rights don't matter?
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:22 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,056 posts, read 7,976,698 times
Reputation: 11450
I remember being a little girl playing with dolls and thinking I can't wait until one day I'm a mom. I've always known I wanted to be a mom. It is SO hurtful to tell someone that if they don't meet the right guy who wants a family that they just aren't meant to be a mom. And a very easy thing for someone who is already married with children to say. I always respected LM's advice on this forum, but wow...that one hurts and I'm not the OP. It isn't that easy to meet the "right" person. I was married and we always talked about having a family. Until one day after 5 years together he told me he changed his mind and no longer wanted children. What a kick in the gut!

I just turned 29...but I feel the clock ticking. People live long healthy lives these days, but science only goes so far, and the ticking of the clock to have children is REAL. If I don't meet someone in the next 4 or 5 years I will absolutely consider having a baby on my own. I have a stable job, supportive friends and family, and I know I can do it alone. I know I'm meant to have a child one day and I don't care what anyone else thinks about how I go about it. Having two loving parents is ideal, but it doesn't work out that way a lot of the time. At the end of the day what could be more important than 1) truly WANTING the child and 2) unconditional loving and supporting that child? And yes, I can do both of those. Alone. And so can the OP!
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Old 03-06-2013, 09:19 PM
 
98 posts, read 601,619 times
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I think it is a very natural feeling to want to have your own children. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and my children are without a doubt what I consider to be the most wonderful blessing in my life. I will say that they are also a lot of hard work...way more time, emotional and physical energy than I ever could have imagined. I love every minute of it but absolutely would not be able to do this well without the support of my husband. Many of my friends have had children naturally in their late 30s/ early 40s and some have adopted. It's not like 34 is the "end of the road" for having kids by any means. I think there are probably a lot of potential partners in your age range with the same desire to have kids! Don't give up yet but if you do decide to do it on your own having supportive grand parents, friends and other family members will help a lot. I think raising kids would be very hard to do on your own. I know many who do a fabulous job as single parents but I know it is hard work!!
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