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Old 02-05-2012, 08:29 PM
 
11 posts, read 12,453 times
Reputation: 43

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
"I", "I","I"

Do you see the problem here?

What about what would be best and right for your child??

A mother has to think selflessly, not selfishly.
Yes, I know. I am already thinking about designing the nursery, breast feeding, private school and extracurricular activities. How selfish of me!
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:30 PM
 
Location: The Big Orange (CA)
1,809 posts, read 3,019,870 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leila1010 View Post
I do not really want to adopt. I want to experience pregnancy, but more importantly, I want to give birth to my own baby.
I know a woman who was artificially inseminated (anonymous donor) about 8-9 years ago (maybe more). She's one of my mother's coworkers, and back then she was without a partner and in her late 30's. She couldn't envision her life without children and I guess she wanted to experience motherhood "from the beginning", like you. Everything went fine, apparently.

If your financial situation is good, you have a job that won't interfere too much with all the time and energy a child needs, your health is excellent, you've carefully considered all the pros and cons and you're 100% sure about this, go ahead.

For the record, I have a friend who grew up with his mother only because his biological father wanted nothing to do with them. He's a well-adjusted guy, resourceful and confident, and he claims that (unlike me, a 'child of divorce') he never missed his father because he never had one in the first place. Obviously, in less than ideal circumstances, his mother did a very good job.

Make sure that you have a solid network of family and/or friends nearby, though, just in case.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,054,517 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leila1010 View Post
It never occurred to me that I wasn't meant to be a mom. Actually, I believe that I would make a great mother, because I have all of the right tools and resources in place to allow a baby to thrive and grow. Most importantly, I have an abundance of love and financial stability, which are definitely necessary.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby, in fact, it's very natural.
I never said there was anything "wrong" with WANTING a baby.

Plenty of young women know the feeling. I know I did.

But what IS wrong is planning to bring one into this world without a father.

You may need to try to accept the fact that IF Mr. Right doesn't show up in the next 10 years that maybe you just weren't meant to be a mom, regardless of how good of one you think you might be.

It's not something EVERY women is really meant to do you know.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 77,122,397 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
You may need to try to accept the fact that IF Mr. Right doesn't show up in the next 10 years that maybe you just weren't meant to be a mom, regardless of how good of one you think you might be.
Really?! Just because of that?
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:36 PM
 
11 posts, read 12,453 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by noela View Post
I know a woman who was artificially inseminated (anonymous donor) about 8-9 years ago (maybe more). She's one of my mother's coworkers, and back then she was without a partner and in her late 30's. She couldn't envision her life without children and I guess she wanted to experience motherhood "from the beginning", like you. Everything went fine, apparently.

If your financial situation is good, you have a job that won't interfere too much with all the time and energy a child needs, your health is excellent, you've carefully considered all the pros and cons and you're 100% sure about this, go ahead.

For the record, I have a friend who grew up with his mother only because his biological father wanted nothing to do with them. He's a well-adjusted guy, resourceful and confident, and he claims that (unlike me, a 'child of divorce') he never missed his father because he never had one in the first place. Obviously, in less than ideal circumstances, his mother did a very good job.

Make sure that you have a solid network of family and/or friends nearby, though, just in case.
I have thought a lot about artificial insemination, but what do I tell my child, once s/he grows up and inquires about their biological father? Also, the idea of having an unknown man's sperm in my body is very unsettling. It just doesn't seem like the right option for me.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:39 PM
 
Location: The Big Orange (CA)
1,809 posts, read 3,019,870 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leila1010 View Post
I have thought a lot about artificial insemination, but what do I tell my child, once s/he grows up and inquires about their biological father? Also, the idea of having an unknown man's sperm in my body is very unsettling. It just doesn't seem like the right option for me.
I understand. What options are you considering?
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:40 PM
 
2,495 posts, read 3,450,129 times
Reputation: 4838
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I never said there was anything "wrong" with WANTING a baby.

Plenty of young women know the feeling. I know I did.

But what IS wrong is planning to bring one into this world without a father.

You may need to try to accept the fact that IF Mr. Right doesn't show up in the next 10 years that maybe you just weren't meant to be a mom, regardless of how good of one you think you might be.

It's not something EVERY women is really meant to do you know.
This is a reckless statement LM. There is no rule that states that it is wrong to bring a child into this world without a father. Plenty of single parents have raised reasonable children...my cousin (a Medical Doctor at John Hopkins) was raised by his mom, Ex-President Bill Clinton was raised by a single parent, The executive director of my firm was raised by a single father. Tons of children from single parent homes turn out okay....what we can argue (or point out to the OP) is that it is twice as difficult for a single parent to go through the child rearing process. She doesnt have to wait for Mr. Right....or subscribe to any of society's pressure...as long as she understands the drastic change that comes with children. This is not like a piece of clothing that can be returned to the store for refund. Raising a child(ren) is a full time job. The ability to spontaneously leave the house has diminished. I dont "hang out" nearly as much as i used to...there are tons of things that i sacrifice to ensure that my child has the best care....I suggest the OP spend time with people with children or relatives and see first hand ..because it is a life changing experience.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:46 PM
 
11 posts, read 12,453 times
Reputation: 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by noela View Post
I understand. What options are you considering?
I was thinking about paying a professional matchmaker. Hopefully the person can help me find a well suited/ intelligent marriage minded man who is interested in starting a family.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,194 posts, read 1,512,055 times
Reputation: 1719
Mr right may come later in life , if you want a baby and can be there in all aspects then go for it. 34 isn't old but it's 6 years from 40.
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Old 02-05-2012, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 86,054,517 times
Reputation: 39670
Quote:
Originally Posted by Percentage View Post
This is a reckless statement LM. There is no rule that states that it is wrong to bring a child into this world without a father. Plenty of single parents have raised reasonable children...my cousin (a Medical Doctor at John Hopkins) was raised by his mom, Ex-President Bill Clinton was raised by a single parent, The executive director of my firm was raised by a single father. Tons of children from single parent homes turn out okay....what we can argue (or point out to the OP) is that it is twice as difficult for a single parent to go through the child rearing process. She doesnt have to wait for Mr. Right....or subscribe to any of society's pressure...as long as she understands the drastic change that comes with children. This is not like a piece of clothing that can be returned to the store for refund. Raising a child(ren) is a full time job. The ability to spontaneously leave the house has diminished. I dont "hang out" nearly as much as i used to...there are tons of things that i sacrifice to ensure that my child has the best care....I suggest the OP spend time with people with children or relatives and see first hand ..because it is a life changing experience.

Sorry my friend, we are going to have to agree to disagree.

Planning to have a child without a father for that child is the reckless action.

There's a reason it takes a man and a woman to create a child - God designed it that way.

In his plan every child would have a mother AND a father to love them.
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