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Old 02-08-2012, 11:31 AM
 
1,516 posts, read 1,748,683 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I agree with this statement, but where it is written that in order to correct a child you need to hit him?
The problem is that many of us are talking past one another and making a huge situation out of something that may occur very rarely. If a parent spanks their child on occasion, it doesn't mean that they are wacking poor Sally or Timmy every time the kid does something wrong like throw a jacket on the floor. Heck, if I spanked everytime my kids did something that needed "correcting," they would be black and blue and in a wheelchair. Parenting is an ongoing thing and every day, there are situations where they need some midcourse correction. Life is frustrating with kids yet I'm not spanking my kids on a daily basis. Just yesterday my son got a note home from school (and me a call from the principal) where he and another boy were comparing their ice cream cones to their "wennies." Just the fact that he had gotten in trouble and I had a grumpy face was enough to get the point across. No punishment, no spanking. Just a talk about inappropriate behavior was the course correction he needed. I'm sure that the majority of parents on this forum do the same thing.

None of us here (at least I'm hoping) are advocating something like this on a daily basis:

"Sam, do your homeowork. Stop fooling around!" (smack)

"Sally, pick up that shirt on the floor." (smack)

If one is smacking their kid on a frequent basis, there is a problem. Very rarely and for the most dire of situations....shrugs.
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:37 AM
 
11,137 posts, read 9,114,854 times
Reputation: 14456
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
but I got the last laugh, my sister saw, and she grabbed the cup away from him gave him a good smack and made him go to his room...........as he pouted away, he looked at me and I stuck my tongue at him. I am still a baby. !!
You got the last laugh? That was one of the more sickening paragraphs I have ever read on the internet.
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,500,410 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
It isn't written MB, (and I say this with love), some kids just need the good old fashioned smack.


and I can start with my nephew.

all of us sitting around the kitchen table, he was standing behind me cracking a plastic cup, I turned around and said, ugh, stop it, its annoying....then when I turned around, he cracked it one more time in my ear just to be annoying.....

but I got the last laugh, my sister saw, and she grabbed the cup away from him gave him a good smack and made him go to his room...........as he pouted away, he looked at me and I stuck my tongue at him. I am still a baby. !!
Awesome. I'm exactly a similar kind of person LMAO.

You see in the movie Due Date, Downey goes to a crack-head house and the kid hits him and pulls his tie, and he coolly whacks the boy LOL. I just died laughing.... while I'm not that extreme, I have similar tendencies.
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Old 02-08-2012, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,185 posts, read 23,515,134 times
Reputation: 19727
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
You got the last laugh? That was one of the more sickening paragraphs I have ever read on the internet.
I am guessing you have no sense of humor.

But yes, I did get the last laugh, because my nephew thought he was being smart by cracking the plastic cup in my ear, (laughing), only to get busted, slapped, and put to his room, plus embarassed because his Uncle (me) stuck his tongue out at him in front of everybody and made him feel like a fool.

so yes, I did get the last laugh...


SEE THE NEXT POSTER.



****sticks tongue out******
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Old 02-08-2012, 12:50 PM
 
11,137 posts, read 9,114,854 times
Reputation: 14456
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
yes, I did get the last laugh, because my nephew thought he was being smart by cracking the plastic cup in my ear, (laughing), only to get busted, slapped, and put to his room, plus embarassed because his Uncle (me) stuck his tongue out at him and made him feel like a fool.

so yes, I did get the last laugh...
You are intentionally fostering an atmosphere and attitude of competition and one-up-man ship, and you wonder that he did something intentionally to be irritating to you? Who is the grown up here?


Quote:
****sticks tongue out******
Not you, apparently.
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Old 02-08-2012, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,185 posts, read 23,515,134 times
Reputation: 19727
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
You are intentionally fostering an atmosphere and attitude of competition and one-up-man ship, and you wonder that he did something intentionally to be irritating to you? Who is the grown up here?



Not you, apparently.



ugh, lighten up !!!


***puts hands on ears, waves them and keeps tongue out*****
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Old 02-08-2012, 03:37 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,329 posts, read 21,477,242 times
Reputation: 43360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I am not sure how it is relevant that you are Christian. I am not a Christian but I am religious. I also do not run my home like a Democracy. My husband and I am in charge but we are capable of being in charge without hitting another person. Hitting does not equal being in charge. Does your boss hit you at the office?



We don't permit our kids to use vile language, or show disrespect to us. We just don't have to hit them so that they are respectful.



We also have consequences for bad behavior. Those consequences just don't include violence.

Nor do mine. We have different definitions of violence.
People can be verbally abusive as well.
Children are not perfect. I have seen mean, spoiled and abusive children.

There is a "cult of the child" emerging in this country.
Helicopter moms, my-kids-can-do-no-wrong-dads, parents whose lives REVOLVE AROUND THEIR KIDS!

Here's a newsflash - your kid's need you. but not as their friend.

And their lives don't revolve around you!
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Old 02-08-2012, 04:21 PM
 
11,612 posts, read 19,564,982 times
Reputation: 12034
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Nor do mine. We have different definitions of violence.
People can be verbally abusive as well.
Children are not perfect. I have seen mean, spoiled and abusive children.
In my opinion when one person hits another it is violence. The law backs up my definition as battery is considered a violent crime.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
There is a "cult of the child" emerging in this country.
Helicopter moms, my-kids-can-do-no-wrong-dads, parents whose lives REVOLVE AROUND THEIR KIDS!

Here's a newsflash - your kid's need you. but not as their friend.

And their lives don't revolve around you!
Hitting kids is not the answer to helicopter parents. I have managed to get my kids to the ages of 12, 15, 17 (18 this month) without hitting them without hitting them. They are not rude. All three of them are praised by teachers and coaches for being well behaved.

I truly hate when people say "you are their parent, not their friend." Well DUH! That doesn't mean you have to hit them. Parents do not NEED to hit kids. I have no problem with parents that use spanking. I do have a problem with those who subscribe to the idea that all of the world's ills will be cured if more parents just started hitting thier kids.
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Old 02-08-2012, 04:38 PM
 
11,137 posts, read 9,114,854 times
Reputation: 14456
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
There is a "cult of the child" emerging in this country.
Helicopter moms, my-kids-can-do-no-wrong-dads, parents whose lives REVOLVE AROUND THEIR KIDS!
This is a common distraction. Look at those people over there doing an ineffective thing. Yes helicopter parenting is not a good way to raise responsible people. The converse of or sole alternative to helicopter is not spank.
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Old 02-08-2012, 06:08 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,901,008 times
Reputation: 2585
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
I knew somebody would say this. If you spank a kid, and they turn out great, the kid benefitted DESPITE the spanking, but if you use the time outs they benefitted because of the time out. Why do only time outs add a benefits but spanking doesn't?
Neither spankings nor timeouts benefit the child in and of themselves, actually. But spanking can teach them that we solve our problems by hitting. And especially young children are more than obliged to absorb this lesson! Timeouts are much more relevant to the real world and they don't teach or encourage aggressive behavior. Coupled with proper communication (this includes reasoning and teaching alternatives to unacceptable behavior), timeouts teach kids that they either behave or they lose privileges. Real, rational, and no side effects.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
In my opinion when one person hits another it is violence. The law backs up my definition as battery is considered a violent crime.
True. The only reason people deny it's violence is that they personally see justification to it. Well, guess what? There is usually proposed justification for pretty much any account of violence. And I also agree that the extent of injury caused by an action does not change what action took place. Whether the hitting has caused any harm is debatable; whether hitting is violent or not really isn't.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Hitting kids is not the answer to helicopter parents. I have managed to get my kids to the ages of 12, 15, 17 (18 this month) without hitting them without hitting them. They are not rude. All three of them are praised by teachers and coaches for being well behaved.

I truly hate when people say "you are their parent, not their friend." Well DUH! That doesn't mean you have to hit them. Parents do not NEED to hit kids. I have no problem with parents that use spanking. I do have a problem with those who subscribe to the idea that all of the world's ills will be cured if more parents just started hitting thier kids.
I couldn't have said it better myself. It isn't that people spank their kids that bothers me; it's that so many people actually think it's necessary. And the tying one thing with another completely irrelevant thing needs to stop. Parents who refuse to spank their children are "guilty" of just that. Nothing more.
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