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Old 02-07-2012, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,088 posts, read 23,010,231 times
Reputation: 19522

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I don't buy it. I was spanked and I'm not aggressive. My brothers and sisters were spanked and they are not aggressive.


same here, I was spanked beyond belief, and i am pretty passive, but the one thing I absolutely cannot stand is the parents saying "Time out"

Time out my ass, you gotta be kidding.......

what is this Time out BS.....gimme a break.

I am not going to reason with a 5 year old, I am the parent, I make the rules
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Old 02-07-2012, 08:43 AM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,797,726 times
Reputation: 2584
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
same here, I was spanked beyond belief, and i am pretty passive, but the one thing I absolutely cannot stand is the parents saying "Time out"

Time out my ass, you gotta be kidding.......

what is this Time out BS.....gimme a break.

I am not going to reason with a 5 year old, I am the parent, I make the rules
This is what I can't stand about parents who spank. They tend to be the same parents who criticize others for using time outs. I notice you didn't really give an argument against the use of time outs. You just said "Time out my ass, you gotta be kidding, what is this, gimme a break". Unless you're practicing for a stand-up comedy gig or a radio DJ, that doesn't quite cut it.

There is no more reasoning or evidence to suggest time outs are ineffective as there is for suggesting spanking causes aggression. So kindly pick a style of thinking and stick with it, would you please?

I won't say that spanking causes any harm whatsoever, but I will say that it seems more consistent with the real world to reason with your 5 year old rather than hit them. Best to start as early as possible in teaching them the most effective and moral ways to deal with a problem, say I.
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,974 posts, read 11,485,261 times
Reputation: 14625
My opposition to spanking is that more often than not it is an impulsive act. A calm, reasoned approach to discipline is going to be more effective in the long run.
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:44 AM
 
774 posts, read 1,925,530 times
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Complete BS. For generations parents spanked their kids and for generations we have survived and prospered. The last 25 yrs or so has seen this change to 'no spanking and time out' and the current generation of young adults is worse off than any that came before them. It only takes 5 minutes of the morning news to show you how well the 'time outs' have worked for the current generation

Hell I was spanked or hit everytime I screwed up. Ya know what I learned?? Stop screwing up. I'm not aggressive or violent. My parents, aunts , uncles etc are/were never aggressive yet we were all raised Tge same way.

The problem today it parents have too many laws obstructing their ability to be a parent.
Kids need discipline and this candy azz , time out approach has failed them miserably for the last 25 yrs. do your kids a favor. Spank them when they screw up. They're thank you when they realize you gave them the structure and disapline to function in the real world.

Parents who refuse to spank do Tge rest of us a favor. The next time your kid and I mean diapers to 18 yr old throws a temper tantrum either grow a pair an stand up to them or have The courtesy of removing them from the rest of our presents. Less than a week ago there was a family sitting behind me at a restaurant arguing with their teenager. He was cussing, slamming stuff and acting like an idiot because he didn't want to eat at that restaurant and their response was he had to go straight to his room for a timeout without tv or games when they got home. This kid was 15 or older. Ya really think that would happen if he knew a slap in the mouth was waiting for him. Hell no!!!!

Last edited by DELL37; 02-07-2012 at 09:56 AM..
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Old 02-07-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,750,280 times
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Ugh! Please keep in mind that the jails are not filled up with adults who were given time outs. All these so-called people you see on the news were in most cases products of abusive, fractured families. They are not law breakers, because they had thoughtful parents who tried to find alternatives to spanking.
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:06 AM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,797,726 times
Reputation: 2584
Quote:
Originally Posted by DELL37 View Post
Complete BS. For generations parents spanked their kids and for generations we have survived and prospered. The last 25 yrs or so has seen this change to 'no spanking and time out' and the current generation of young adults is worse off than any that came before them. It only takes 5 minutes of the morning news to show you how well the 'time outs' have worked for the current generation
If you're going to talk correlation, explain to me why violent crime has been declining since the 1990s. Time-outs were introduced in, what, the 1960s or 70s? Do the math. One young adult's lifetime later, violent crime declines.

http://blogs.berkeley.edu/2010/06/16/a-crime-puzzle-violent-crime-declines-in-america/

http://faculty.unlv.edu/mccorkle/Declining%20Violent%20Crime%20Rates%20in%2090s.pdf

I'm not saying time outs are the reason for the decline, but I'm saying what you see in the morning news is misleading with the idea that things have gotten worse in the past couple generations.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DELL37 View Post
Hell I was spanked or hit everytime I screwed up. Ya know what I learned?? Stop screwing up. I'm not aggressive or violent. My parents, aunts , uncles etc are/were never aggressive yet we were all raised Tge same way.
Your parents WERE aggressive if they hit you every time you made a mistake. Just because they didn't pick on people who could/would defend themselves doesn't mean they weren't agressive.

At any rate, however, anecdotal evidence means nothing to me. My experience tells me just the opposite of what you're telling me. So now what?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DELL37 View Post
The problem today it parents have too many laws obstructing their ability to be a parent. Kids need discipline and this candy azz , time out approach has failed them miserably for the last 25 yrs. do your kids a favor. Spank them when they screw up. They're thank you when they realize you gave them the structure and disapline to function in the real world.
All the people I know personally that were spanked on a regular basis as children were also raised by parents who failed their kids in many, many ways. It's the parents who use timeouts that I know (few, unfortunately) that are on top of things as parents. The neat thing about "candy azz" parents is that they actively encourage higher education at younger ages, they teach good manners, they emphasize discipline as ADULTS know it, and they're very health conscious when it comes to their children as well.

I agree, generally speaking, that the law needs to mind just how much it gets involved. I don't think it should be illegal to spank your kids. I think that's overboard. But that doesn't mean spanking is justified and certainly not that it's ideal.

Last edited by Vic 2.0; 02-07-2012 at 10:15 AM..
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:10 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,125,430 times
Reputation: 11309
Oh, long term effects on "children", thank God I got flustered for a moment.

Misbehaviour needs to be dealt with appropriately. I'm sick and tired of people trying to be Buddhists with their kids. I mean, come on Grow a pair, puh fricking lease.
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:16 AM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,797,726 times
Reputation: 2584
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Misbehaviour needs to be dealt with appropriately. I'm sick and tired of people trying to be Buddhists with their kids. I mean, come on Grow a pair, puh fricking lease.
Hey... Could a parent who hits his kid in the head with a 2x4 tell you the same thing?
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Old 02-07-2012, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,125,430 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
Hey... Could a parent who hits his kid in the head with a 2x4 tell you the same thing?
Or you can be a good Christian, Vic.

Say you have a 14 year old kid, for example, and he hits you with a crowbar. You can pull a Matt 5:38-40, show him the other cheek
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Old 02-07-2012, 11:06 AM
 
11,556 posts, read 19,249,730 times
Reputation: 11900
The thing that really bothers me about this discussion is that there is a very "all or nothing" approach by those who choose spanking. I really don't care if other people spank their kids, however, there are other methods of disciplining kids that do not involve violence. Parents who choose non-violent discipline are still disciplining their children. They just aren't hitting them.

In my opinion the objective in disciplining children is to teach kids how to behave correctly. The threat of violence will not always be there. You cannot always be there to beat your children into submission. How will they know to behave if it is only the threat of violence that makes them behave?

Hitting kids is easy. However, the easiest way to do things is not always the best way to do things. Sometimes it pays to put more work into solving a problem. Non violent discipline is more work than simply hitting a person that is smaller, weaker and has less authority.

I also want to add that I do not think that today's young adults are more messed up than any other generation.
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