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Old 02-07-2012, 01:09 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,945,550 times
Reputation: 2585

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
are you kidding me, I am NOT ABOUT TO REASON with a 5 year old. I am the parent, not the 5 year old......
You already said that. But "I'm the parent, not them" really isn't much of a reason to hit them, however you may think it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by simetime View Post
Personally, I think it depends on the child. Some kids you can talk to (reason with) and others you have to "beat em until the white meat shows" (just kidding).
I think "it depends on the child" only as much as it depends on how the child's been raised up to that point, what they're accustomed to. In households with a lot of yelling going on, a stern voice probably isn't going to be enough to get a kid's attention. These homes may just find spanking "necessary" at that point, but I don't think it's necessarily necessary... You KWIM.
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Old 02-07-2012, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 24,683,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
What does this topic have to do with Christianity, necessarily? You basically said that people who don't spank their kids have no guts. I just showed you how something like this is subjective.

"Grow a pair", ha! I should think hitting a kid is cowardly, not courageous. But I guess I just don't have the testicular fortitude to hurt someone who's one-tenth my size
Nobody hits a kid for courage. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You need some serious fix patch. Vic 3.0 or no hope
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Old 02-07-2012, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas
1,917 posts, read 6,304,971 times
Reputation: 1957
I have three kids, 20, 14 and 9 and never have I spanked them or hit them. They are all well adjusted, well behaved people. Now, have I ever grabbed them by their little arm and shoved them outside when they wouldn't stop whining/crying (slam! Go cry OUTSIDE and come in when you're DONE)?
Yes!
As a result these kids don't talk back to me or my husband and are very well mannered in public. Oh, you don't need to hit kids to make them "mind" you. All I need to do is give them the "look". Heck I don't even have to raise my voice to them I just talk real low Clint Eastwood like LOL



Oh...it's called earning respect. I respect you. You respect me. And this was taught to them from very, very, young.
You bite me. I'll bite you. Never.Happened. Again.

ETA: (I didn't bite them hard )
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Old 02-07-2012, 01:49 PM
 
3,421 posts, read 2,493,538 times
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What always amazes me is that this topic comes up and we get the same arguements. I am pro-spanking. Spanking is simply one of the the many tools used for discipline. It works on some kids and other kids it has no effect. My mom was spanked and she is one of nicest human beings you can meet. My uncle was spanked, and he has been in and out of jail more times than I can count. Just like time outs will work for some kids and won't work for others. I don't understand why anti-spanking parents can't accept that its a tool.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,230 posts, read 23,756,652 times
Reputation: 19852
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
What always amazes me is that this topic comes up and we get the same arguements. I am pro-spanking. Spanking is simply one of the the many tools used for discipline. It works on some kids and other kids it has no effect. My mom was spanked and she is one of nicest human beings you can meet. My uncle was spanked, and he has been in and out of jail more times than I can count. Just like time outs will work for some kids and won't work for others. I don't understand why anti-spanking parents can't accept that its a tool.


Any time I have ever seen a little child behaving badly in public, the parent pulls one of these, "time out" things or try's to "negotiate" something, and I think it is ridiculous.

if the child is behaving badly, say in a restaurant, obviously you tell the child to behave, but sometimes the child doesn't, I wouldn't do a time out or a negotiating thing I would just pinch him on the arm and say really sternly, knock it off, behave, your not home....trust me, that would and has done the trick....


ok, maybe time out works for some, i did not do that and my 3 sons are 28 now. (trips) and no problems
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,550,354 times
Reputation: 7421
Quote:
Originally Posted by nighttrain55 View Post
What always amazes me is that this topic comes up and we get the same arguments. I am pro-spanking. Spanking is simply one of the the many tools used for discipline. It works on some kids and other kids it has no effect. My mom was spanked and she is one of nicest human beings you can meet. My uncle was spanked, and he has been in and out of jail more times than I can count. Just like time outs will work for some kids and won't work for others. I don't understand why anti-spanking parents can't accept that its a tool.
I think they just don't think of it as a useful tool. But, I don't think much parents do is actually useful. I don't think time outs are useful either, far from it. They just try a bunch of things and repeat what works for them to control their kids, I've seen some light swatters and some evil time outters that doesn't make much difference to me. So, I'm not sure being useful or not is the point either. I don't view kids as anything more than immature adults though, and you hope they learn and become mature but some never do, some are more mature than some adults I know right out of the womb. lol The parents I view as successful usually have learned who their kid is early on. They have come to terms with their personality and they accept it and do what they feel is right about behavior.
I think discipline is whatever makes the parent feel good and and in control. Kids will learn life lessons through living life with or without help from parents I think.
I think they will learn what personality traits others accept and what they don't out side and inside the home regardless of how you show them, hitting, time out, lectures, that's just parental choice and some parents want all available. I don't have the personality to hit anyone so I don't hit my kids simple as that. It has to do with me, not with them deserving anything or not. Most parents to me get the same results, it's just a preference of tool usage for the user.

Last edited by PoppySead; 02-07-2012 at 02:32 PM..
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:27 PM
 
3,517 posts, read 5,443,013 times
Reputation: 5566
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0 View Post
You already said that. But "I'm the parent, not them" really isn't much of a reason to hit them, however you may think it is.



I think "it depends on the child" only as much as it depends on how the child's been raised up to that point, what they're accustomed to. In households with a lot of yelling going on, a stern voice probably isn't going to be enough to get a kid's attention. These homes may just find spanking "necessary" at that point, but I don't think it's necessarily necessary... You KWIM.
Ooh, disagree with that. I mean, yeah, a child used to parents who yell at each other or throw things out of anger or what have you probably won't respond to a finger wag, but a child who comes up in a calm, loving home isn't necessarily going to respond either. Kids come out as little people and how you raise them can only mold the personality they were born with so much. Some kids need more than a stern warning and a few minutes in timeout to get the message.

I fully believe that some kids need to be reminded that they are not in power here and be put in their place before they can start understanding why their actions are wrong.
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:37 PM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,550,354 times
Reputation: 7421
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
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Any time I have ever seen a little child behaving badly in public, the parent pulls one of these, "time out" things or try's to "negotiate" something, and I think it is ridiculous.

if the child is behaving badly, say in a restaurant, obviously you tell the child to behave, but sometimes the child doesn't, I wouldn't do a time out or a negotiating thing I would just pinch him on the arm and say really sternly, knock it off, behave, your not home....trust me, that would and has done the trick....


ok, maybe time out works for some, i did not do that and my 3 sons are 28 now. (trips) and no problems
You just like to pinch and hit. Some just like to time out. I think both get the point across that you are unhappy with what the kid is doing. Now, whether or not the child cares is a different story on either side. I've seen a spanking that had to be repeated my entire dinner by the table of people next to me and I've seen time outs that didn't make a dent either. That all depends on the personality of the kid. If they scare easily or not, if they feel bad for others being unhappy with them or not. Some are brave, and have a low tolerance for adults that find what they do unpleasing. Some kids are shy, scared and care a lot what you think of them and what they do. You never know, kids are a box of chocolates. lol
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:23 PM
 
1,067 posts, read 1,377,160 times
Reputation: 1070
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
The article said that most people experience some sort of spanking punishment growing up which is why it's so hard for people to imagine disciplining a child without it. And yet, most people don't have problems with aggression.

Methinks there is more to making a violent human being than a swat on the behind when they misbehave.

EXACTLY!

I will say it once and I'll say it again there is a big difference betwwen SPANKING and BEATING. Spanking=discipline Beating=child abuse. In my world at least.
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:44 PM
 
Location: TX
6,009 posts, read 4,945,550 times
Reputation: 2585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Nobody hits a kid for courage. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
"FOR courage", or as a sign of courage (which is the concept I was addressing, one proposed by you)? Because you're the one who said this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Currency Pair Crocodile View Post
Misbehaviour needs to be dealt with appropriately. I'm sick and tired of people trying to be Buddhists with their kids. I mean, come on Grow a pair, puh fricking lease.
If you weren't addressing the reluctance to hit (spanking = hitting), then what was this comment about, and what was it doing on this thread?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
Any time I have ever seen a little child behaving badly in public, the parent pulls one of these, "time out" things or try's to "negotiate" something, and I think it is ridiculous.
Why?

Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
ok, maybe time out works for some, i did not do that and my 3 sons are 28 now. (trips) and no problems
You might also ask yourself why time outs work for some, and not others.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
Kids come out as little people and how you raise them can only mold the personality they were born with so much. Some kids need more than a stern warning and a few minutes in timeout to get the message.

I fully believe that some kids need to be reminded that they are not in power here and be put in their place before they can start understanding why their actions are wrong.
Regardless of their temperaments (the foundation of children's varying personalities at birth), I don't believe that spanking is any more or less necessary. All the difference between "easy" and "difficult" temperamented babies means is that you'll have to put forth more effort in general for a "difficult" temperamented child to learn something. I'd even suggest that it's the difficult children who benefit even LESS from spanking, as they may be more stubborn to learn the particular lesson you WANT them to learn from it.

So I'd say, Yes, some kids need more than a stern warning and a few minutes in timeout. They need more time and effort spent on the actual discipline part of discipline, and likely LESS hitting.
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