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Old 02-13-2012, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,965 posts, read 98,814,535 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Just because someone has a cabin and does not invite everyone she works with does not mean it is rude. It is a fact of life and not everyone socializes with everyone else outside of business hours. I never socialized with people I worked with, it is bad business and I spent enough time with them at work anyway. I did not want to spend any more time outside of business hours talking about business.

I am grateful I have always had a real life that is separated from my business life.
Well, excuse me for using such a bad example of rude adult behavior.
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Old 02-13-2012, 06:18 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Well, excuse me for using such a bad example of rude adult behavior.
I thought it was a very good example.

I agree. Tremendously bad form.
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Old 02-13-2012, 06:27 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,725,457 times
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How do you pick and choose who to invite? MissFR is nearly five and her best friend selection changes on a weekly basis. It all depends on whether someone says her hair smells like bread and other such wordly criteria.

Granted she's in a small preschool class, but I would personally feel a bit cold leaving such little kids out.

When they're a bit older and have more permanent friends I think it makes more sense to be selective.
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Old 02-13-2012, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 3,899,241 times
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I have to say that I am grateful my 6 yr old doesn't have a "best" friend ( I don't really like that word-best), she says she is friends with everyone and everyone else is friends' with everyone.
I realize this will not always be the case, but for now, it is really nice!
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Old 02-13-2012, 09:04 PM
 
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No, IMHO it isn't too young. I don't believe in this whole "lets shelter kids from learning about disappointment and how to handle it" crap that has been going around for some time now.
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Old 02-14-2012, 05:51 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,981,619 times
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I think five is way too young to have 20-some-odd guests at a party. Too much stimulation. I like the recommendation of one guest per year of age (5 years old = 5 guests).
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Old 02-14-2012, 07:36 AM
 
606 posts, read 763,866 times
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My rule for my kiddo has always been, if you want to invite more than half of a given group (whether that group is the boys in the class, the girls in the class, the whole class, or a tight group of friends who often hang out together), you need to invite the whole group because to do otherwise will make people feel excluded.

We don't have the whole class over for birthdays. We've generally gone a little over the "one kid per year of age" because she's generally been close to more kids than that at any given time (close = spending time together at least a few times a month); in practice, this ends up being all three to five girls in her class and three to six close friends who aren't at her school.
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Old 02-14-2012, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Just because someone has a cabin and does not invite everyone she works with does not mean it is rude. It is a fact of life and not everyone socializes with everyone else outside of business hours. I never socialized with people I worked with, it is bad business and I spent enough time with them at work anyway. I did not want to spend any more time outside of business hours talking about business.

I am grateful I have always had a real life that is separated from my business life.
I agree with that top part. I don't even think it's rude to bring it up in front of those who weren't invited. Why weren't they invited? Was there not enough room at the cabin for everyone? Are they the type of co-workers whom you can't trust? Are they "loners" at the office? If so, why would you invite them? Are they unsociable at work, and cold? If so, why would you invite them? It seems to me that, if a person is feeling excluded from social functions outside of work, with their co-workers, they'd ask themselves why and then work on being more sociable.

Frankly, I'm a bit like you CSD. Just because I work with a group of people, even if I get along with them at work, it doesn't mean that I'm going to have anything in common with them, other than work. If the only thing we'd have to talk about is work, I probably don't want to be there, because I don't want to spend my day off talking about work. The last job I worked at, I got invited several times, to "go out" with several of my co-workers. They go out together and have a great time. They go get drunk. I do NOT go out and get drunk. No thank you. Please feel free to exclude me from your "fun times". Now...if you're all going to get together and do some demo on a house, or put up a new wall, or you're going to have a painting party? Give me a call!

So...back on topic.... inviting little ones to birthay parties. I think there should be a set number of kids invited, as in a small number. Sadly, the few who are invited will likely talk about the party. Perhaps the others wouldn't have wanted to come, anyway. Perhaps they're not nice kids! I don't understand why you'd invite a whole class, only to have children there who do not get along at all. To me, that can be a recipe for a disastrous party.
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Old 02-14-2012, 09:32 AM
 
2,251 posts, read 4,312,915 times
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I've seen both sides of this in the younger grades. I think the kids take the lead from the parents in a lot of cases. If a child isn't invited to a party and the parent gets outraged and goes on about "How dare they not invite you..." then the kid gets more upset. If the parent said simply "Okay, so we'll do xyz that day" and didn't make a big deal of it, the kid would be less upset.

But some parents don't do that. They take it as a personal affront if their child is not invited and have a "What? My kid isn't good enough for your party?" type attitude when the reality is that not all kids take a liking to each other or get along well for whatever reason. I'm sure the kid that was not invited would have their own list of kids they don't like or get along with that they wouldn't want if they were having their own party so I would view it as a teaching moment.

I didn't see anything rude about the cabin story either. I just think some people take things entirely too personally.
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Old 02-14-2012, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,656,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cleasach View Post
I've seen both sides of this in the younger grades. I think the kids take the lead from the parents in a lot of cases. If a child isn't invited to a party and the parent gets outraged and goes on about "How dare they not invite you..." then the kid gets more upset. If the parent said simply "Okay, so we'll do xyz that day" and didn't make a big deal of it, the kid would be less upset.

But some parents don't do that. They take it as a personal affront if their child is not invited and have a "What? My kid isn't good enough for your party?" type attitude when the reality is that not all kids take a liking to each other or get along well for whatever reason. I'm sure the kid that was not invited would have their own list of kids they don't like or get along with that they wouldn't want if they were having their own party so I would view it as a teaching moment.

I didn't see anything rude about the cabin story either. I just think some people take things entirely too personally.
You are so right cleasach! Some parents really do cause a lot of problems. Some probably haven't allowed themselves to get over the times they weren't invited to birthday parties as kids, themselves.
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