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Old 02-08-2012, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 639,097 times
Reputation: 862
I think that as a psuedo-adult he should have some responsibility, whether it be attending full time where his job is being a student, no matter which school, or working and paying for his car. But I have to disagree with some of the posters that said he is an adult and should be taking care of himself and to cut him off. Just because some date of perceived adulthood came doesnt instantly make him an adult and the parents job doesnt end just because the child turned 18.
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Old 02-08-2012, 07:11 PM
 
3,555 posts, read 1,566,252 times
Reputation: 927
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruspar View Post
Situation--18 yrs boy school drop out, decides to goes to Technical school, dad pays for tuition, moves him there and provides him with a car. Doesn't make the cut at school--drop out again. Doesn't return fathers calls (about 20). When he finally does he tells his father is didn't go to school but is now attending the community college where his mother lives. Still driving our car and we are still paying for insurance.

I believe we should take the car and he can figure it out since he didn't abide by the rules. He continues to do this. This is definitely not the first time he has taken advantage of his father or myself. Thoughts as to what we should do?
Proverbs 30:11-17

11There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.

12There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.

13There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.

14There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men.

15The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give. There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not, It is enough:

16The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.

17The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

Sometimes tough love is the best way. Responsibility goes a long way at shaping Character. Maybe let him work it out a bit in the real world. He might thank you later.

Proverbs 15:20
A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.
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Old 02-08-2012, 09:16 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 33,766,826 times
Reputation: 21518
I think you should have given him a cheaper car to help him get started but I don't think you should dangle the car over him in an attempt to control him.

He's going to college so I don't see the big problem. At age 18 he should be working at least part time, but I don't see the problem in having a parent still pay car insurance for a couple more years. At 18, it's also his future, I don't believe in forcing kids to go to a particular school or college to please the parents.

I make my own kids get a job before they get a car and they have to at least help pay for the car by saving up some money if they want one that is a more than about the cheapest but then it's their car. I don't make it about a gift that has strings attached.
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Old 02-09-2012, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
1,193 posts, read 818,883 times
Reputation: 1708
Make the car conditional.
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Old 02-09-2012, 09:16 PM
 
2,047 posts, read 2,217,613 times
Reputation: 1911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruspar View Post
Situation--18 yrs boy school drop out, decides to goes to Technical school, dad pays for tuition, moves him there and provides him with a car. Doesn't make the cut at school--drop out again. Doesn't return fathers calls (about 20). When he finally does he tells his father is didn't go to school but is now attending the community college where his mother lives. Still driving our car and we are still paying for insurance.

I believe we should take the car and he can figure it out since he didn't abide by the rules. He continues to do this. This is definitely not the first time he has taken advantage of his father or myself. Thoughts as to what we should do?
Let him fall on his face (stop providing any financial support) and let him figure it out on his own.
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Old 02-09-2012, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 639,097 times
Reputation: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
Let him fall on his face (stop providing any financial support) and let him figure it out on his own.
Why? Why make him fail if it seems like he is trying?
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,296 posts, read 1,691,659 times
Reputation: 1342
what an entitled little turd that boy is ..
I say take the car and tell the kid you have paid for the trade school he was a failure at that so now he can join the military ..

can ya check grades ? bet there is none ..
as for the rest of ya raising entitled spoilt brats will some day come back and bite parents in the arse .. trade school is not cheap
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: United State of Texas
1,709 posts, read 2,287,494 times
Reputation: 1991
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
Take the car back and welcome him to the real world.
My goodness Kitty... we agree!
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Old 02-10-2012, 11:02 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
5,562 posts, read 2,465,679 times
Reputation: 2684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zembonez View Post
My goodness Kitty... we agree!
Do we regularly not or something ?
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Old 02-10-2012, 11:03 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
5,562 posts, read 2,465,679 times
Reputation: 2684
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
Why? Why make him fail if it seems like he is trying?
If he is trying i would agree with you but this kid does not seem to be trying. He seems like he is just plodding though life with no real goals.
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