Disrespectful 18 boy--What to do (step-mom, child support, game, children)

[Dave5150]

She said that he is now going to the community college by his moms house. So his father should check in and make sure its legit. If it is, then he is trying. Sometimes it takes a while to make up your mind as a kid.

[treeg26]

If he IS attending college, tell him he has to pass all his classes with a C or better. Check his report card. If he doesn't, or drops classes, he returns the car and has to repay Dad the insurance.

Welcome to the real world, kid. Stay in school and do good, or get a job and pay your own way!

[Dave5150]

The OP joined the same day as this post and hasnt been back

[HereOnMars]

In the words of Mark Twain .... “When a boy turns 13, put him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns 16 plug up the hole!”

This advice won't help the OP since he's already reached 18.

[jbub22]

I don't fully understand the problem statement so I might provide an inaccurate answer.

I have 2 teenagers of roughly the same age. Both wear me out. Friends are more important while parents are nags with banks of money. The day a child becomes a teenager their minds are consumed with silliness.

I would kick him out, make him pay for car note and insurance. If kicking out is not an option then charge him rent. For me, only months/weeks ago, I had severe problems with my 18 year old so I kicked my 18 year out of the house, twice...BECAUSE I knew where she was staying. Granted this does not work for everyone but I would ensure that he has a good place to stay. Also, something of substance must be taken away. Having a free ride part of the issue. Plus, he is most likely taking advantage of parent conflicts. For us, the situation has improved greatly...keeping my fingers crossed.

Finally, if he does not like the career field then I would allow him to make choices because having bad job would kill happiness, marriages, etc. At the same time, he must investigate schools and careers before dropping them and transferring on impulse, this is setting a bad tread.

Good luck!

[supertrucker212]

If the car is NOT his, then take it. He's 18, he's an adult, NOT a child. If he has to fall on his then he falls on his face. Hopefully he learns a lesson

[theoldnorthstate]

my formerly disrespectful and rebellious son is now totally doing wonderfully as a grown man.

but he did tell me he wishes that he had understood what i was trying to tell him at the time and if he had, he would be so much better off.

that is the key to pass on as you deal with it, he did not understand at 18 what he now understands at 28. maybe take a deep breath and keep trying a different way to communicate the thing you are trying to help him with. good luck

[purehuman]

Dad provides him with tuition...that's pretty decent of him....providing him with a car and insurance..that's just foolish.

[elamigo]

Originally Posted by Fruspar

Situation--18 yrs boy school drop out, decides to goes to Technical school, dad pays for tuition, moves him there and provides him with a car. Doesn't make the cut at school--drop out again. Doesn't return fathers calls (about 20). When he finally does he tells his father is didn't go to school but is now attending the community college where his mother lives. Still driving our car and we are still paying for insurance.

I believe we should take the car and he can figure it out since he didn't abide by the rules. He continues to do this. This is definitely not the first time he has taken advantage of his father or myself. Thoughts as to what we should do?

He will walk all over his father and you for as long as you allow it. It is as simple as that. He knows he can get away with it so he will continue. His father has enabled him. It is simply a result of allowing him to be that way. The questions is, when are you going to take any action? Take care.

[NCRNStudent]

The 18 year old is only disrespectful because he was raised to be that way. I was born and raised in the south, and, down here, our parents (for the most part) put the fear of God in our hearts. When I was younger, punishment for bad behavior was a spanking. I only got two. Today I am 19 years old, the youngest person ever accepted to my nursing school, a member of Phi Theta Kappa (the international honor society for two year colleges), and I'm maintaining a 3.8 GPA.

As for this particular 18 year old, you should give him a taste of the real world. Stop paying his insurance, take the car back, and tell him that he's an adult and should live that way. I currently live at home and my parents help me out, but this is conditional. I was told that as long as I was in school (actually pursuing a useful degree), or as long as I was working a job, I could remain at home if I wished. The minute I stopped going to school (something I would never even consider), or stopped working (again, something I would never do), I was gone.

I have never been a silly teenager. I graduated high school nine months early, I was dual enrolled in college while in high school, and I did all my nursing prerequisites while in high school. I was an active member of Speech and Debate and Beta club. I got my CNA license while in high school, and was the vice president of HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America). Because of my attitude, I have no patience for lazy, disrespectful teenagers.

If I was in your position, I would stop paying the insurance, take the car back, and tell the 18 year old to assume some responsibility. He will walk all over you as long as you allow him to do so.