Pop Warner football... help with a situation (Long read) (game, parents, boy) - Children, problems, school, daycare, behavior, age, teenagers, infants - Page 2 - City-Data Forum

shuke · 09-07-2007, 09:16 AM

Update: We had practice last night. Now that school is back in session, practices go to Tuesdays and Thursdays from 5:00 to 7:00.

When we got to practice, the coach approached me and said he was going to speak to all the kids about keeping their hands to themselves. Guess the coaches must have had a pow-wow about kids horsing around... they were watching the kids much more closely and calling for their attention much more frequently than in the past.

And Logan behaved himself just fine as far as touching others was concerned, so getting through yesterday was a small victory.

Now for the bad news. Logan had agreed - and my wife knew all about this - to take his meds then take a nap immediately after getting off the school bus yesterday. I have a theory - which I will discuss with his doc tonight when we go into MGH - that his mind runs constantly and so fast that, by the end of the day, he is mentally exhausted even if he is not physically exhausted. During August, when we had Leah (the hot 18 year-old babysitter that was the subject of my plural marriage thread in the relationships forum), she would get him to take a nap for 1½ hours in the afternoon before practice. And it made a HUGE difference... I think it gave his mind a rest so he could function better in practice.

Well, first question I asked when I got home last night... 'did you take your nap, Logan?' He replied that he had not. But he had taken his meds on time as directed. He said he wasn't tired so he didn't feel like he needed a nap. I said that would be OK if he had a good practice without the nap. Well, first thing they did at practice was to run a lap, and I could see him dragging on that. By an hour into the practice, I could see he was visibly tired. Forty-five minutes after that he could hardly stand up for being so tired. And he fell asleep in the car on the way home - a drive of only a few miles, so he sat down and konked out.

Coach noticed he was dragging pretty bad, too. But at least he didn't bother anyone else, so I think he'll survive to play another week. But I did emphasize the importance of that nap to him. And told him that next Tuesday, no nap means no practice.

And, again, I gave him several chances to quit the team yesterday. He really wants to be a part of the team and play. Just needs to learn that nap can make a big difference in how well he practices.

Oh yeah, what would a post be without taking a gratuitous shot at my good-for-nothing wife? She knew he was supposed to take a nap before practice, and did not enforce it. At a minimum, she should have called me to speak to Logan. Once again, she shows ZERO support for this activity.

Marlow · 09-07-2007, 10:18 AM

Congratulations to you and your son for sticking with it and getting through the practice. The nap is a good idea. Everyone does better at difficult things when they're well-rested.

You know--it's not only your son who will benefit if he stays on the team. The other kids will learn that it's important to be tolerant of people who are different and to give everyone a chance. At this level, those lessons are every bit as important as learning to tackle or make a touchdown.

I love the Bears · 09-07-2007, 10:54 AM

the exhausted thing - my step son has the same problem - the poor kid is so tired from trying so hard to follow all of the rules.
He takes naps too - he's 10!

Elmonellie · 09-07-2007, 11:23 AM

I hope you re-think taking legal action. That would teach your boy a bad life lesson, IMHO.

He's going to have to learn about consequences sooner or later. I think you do him no favor if you intervene in this.

Self esteem comes for hard work and effort, following the rules, being a good sport... not being coddled. Again, just my opinion.

shuke · 09-07-2007, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmonellie

I hope you re-think taking legal action. That would teach your boy a bad life lesson, IMHO.

He's going to have to learn about consequences sooner or later. I think you do him no favor if you intervene in this.

Self esteem comes for hard work and effort, following the rules, being a good sport... not being coddled. Again, just my opinion.

Thanks for your opinion, but in my opinion, letting people walk all over me and not sticking up for my rights is what would be teaching the wrong lesson.

I love the Bears · 09-07-2007, 11:34 AM

I agree shuke - and I doubt you would put your child on the stand.
discrimination at that level is wrong and people need to be held accountable - it's sad that in this day and age that is what it takes - but sometimes that is necessary. I don't think that it will come to it though - the minute you talk about a child with special needs and claim discrimination people usually come around

Elmonellie · 09-07-2007, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shuke

Thanks for your opinion, but in my opinion, letting people walk all over me and not sticking up for my rights is what would be teaching the wrong lesson.

You really think your boy getting kicked of PW football for what the coach thinks is inappropriate behavior is a violation of your rights?

If he tries out and doesn't make the football team in high school will you get involved with that?

I think if you take this to trial you should have to pay PW's legal fees if you lose. Lawsuits in this country are getting out of control as evidenced by this thread.

shuke · 09-07-2007, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I love the Bears

I agree shuke - and I doubt you would put your child on the stand.
discrimination at that level is wrong and people need to be held accountable - it's sad that in this day and age that is what it takes - but sometimes that is necessary. I don't think that it will come to it though - the minute you talk about a child with special needs and claim discrimination people usually come around

Thanks, Bears. Based on what I saw yesterday, it looks like we're fairly likely to be able to have an amicable solution. What I had envisioned for legal action, though, was not suing or anything like that. It would have been more along the lines of obtaining an injunction - getting a court order prohibiting the town from allowing the league to use any public property for practice or games unless my boy could participate. Doesn't look like that's going to be necessary. At least I hope not.

Thanks again for your support!

shuke · 09-07-2007, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmonellie

You really think your boy getting kicked of PW football for what the coach thinks is inappropriate behavior is a violation of your rights?

If he tries out and doesn't make the football team in high school will you get involved with that?

I think if you take this to trial you should have to pay PW's legal fees if you lose. Lawsuits in this country are getting out of control as evidenced by this thread.

Well, that's why we go to court, isn't it?

Do you have any idea of what you're talking about? I'm not being facetious or sarcastic, either. Really. Do you know anything about Pop Warner or about bipolar disorder or about the ADA?

First, the "E" level is instructional and not competitive. There is no "making" the team or "cut" or even scorekeeping at this level.

Second, I don't feel my boy's behavior was egregious enough to warrant dismissal from the team regardless of any disability.

Third, he is disabled. And participation in this program can go a long way towards helping him to learn some of the lessons you have talked about. The coach himself has admitted he has improved "1000%" since the beginning of August.

Fourth, Pop Warner is tax-exempt and publicly supported. And they are playing on public property. I am willing - and, in fact have - gone to considerable lengths to teach Logan what he needs to do to be part of the team. I am at every one of his practices and interact with him frequently during practice. Thus, I have made a maximum effort at minimizing the amount of special attention he may require from the coaches. In plain English, at the present time, he really doesn't require any special attention from the coaches.

Fifth, because I feel so strongly this program can help him, if they try to kick him off the team, I think I would owe it to my kid to exhaust any legal options that may be available to allow him to participate. If a court were to determine that, unless my boy can participate, then no one can use public property to particpate... well, then I would chaulk that up as a lesson that PW would need to learn.

Lastly, I really don't care if you or anyone else likes it or not, either.

I love the Bears · 09-07-2007, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmonellie

You really think your boy getting kicked of PW football for what the coach thinks is inappropriate behavior is a violation of your rights?

If he tries out and doesn't make the football team in high school will you get involved with that?

I think if you take this to trial you should have to pay PW's legal fees if you lose. Lawsuits in this country are getting out of control as evidenced by this thread.

I think you are missing the whole point - it's not about his child getting play time or not being good enough - it is about being denied a right to be involved in something because people don't understand his disability. Until you have a child with ADHD and have to fight the school to give him what he needs and have the school lie to you and tell you that he doesn't qualify and have to force them to help your child - you can't really understand how frustrating and heartbreaking it all is. It is not fun to fight everyone all the time - but I will if I have to to ensure that my child gets what he needs.
Lawsuits are out of control in this country and we all pay a price for this - but children need to be defended and protected and more people in this world need to stand up for what is right - not just look away and thank God hey don't have to deal with it. Silence is acceptance.