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Old 02-11-2012, 05:49 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
Reputation: 19413

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
First you are being a little mean and honestly as adults here is that conducive to anything?

I already said that if you are giving them anything they want then you are not doing them any favors.
I also already said that my child is responsible for his messes, he cleans his room, his toys, puts his laundry in the hamper, whatever the case may be. And doesnt get paid. He gets paid for extra things. Like clean the table, here is a quarter, etc.

I honestly couldnt care less if he talks to his friends on fb about me, i talked to my friends about my parents and "woe is me, my life is so hard"
Sorry for the meanness and LOL...for calling you dude. Listen, do I think that parents should be control freaks, just because they can? NO! That's crappy parenting there, as far as I'm concerned. In fact, I gotta say, a few of things I've seen you post recently, about your home life...yeah, you could be talking about a couple of incidents in my childhood. I honestly think I felt a little like you when I was younger....when my kids were younger. As they got older, and their "needs & wants" climbed a bit, they started developing attitudes about wanting to be paid for "doing their part" around here, that all changed. Yeah, my kids have always been paid for "extras", but around here.....there aren't a whole lot of "extras" for them to do. Everyone does their part. You don't do your part, you lose those extra privileges that you so covet.

Phones are extras. Internet is extra. Getting to go hang out with your friends or go fishing with your buddies, when you're too "tired" to pitch in around here like everyone else....with bi*ching and complaining about it? Yeah.....another extra.

Look, my oldest had the same attitude. My gosh, he even got to the point where he didn't think he should have to clean up his OWN messes. All he could see when he looked around was everyone else's messes. Sadly, that's his personality and he was one of those people who never learned from ANYTHING, no matter how drastic. Some people are like that, but as a parent, you DO have to try. As an "adult", he still see's everyone else's messes instead of his own, but at least he was FORCED to learn some life skills around here when he was at home.
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Lincoln County Road or Armageddon
4,205 posts, read 5,480,413 times
Reputation: 5711
Just another pseudo tough guy with a gun. I hope his daughter leaves home and never looks back.
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Westchester County
1,096 posts, read 1,343,883 times
Reputation: 966
This father felt that he had done all he could, and his frustration was obvious. Sure other people would handle it differently, but since there is no protocol on how to handle a teenager who badmouths her family on Facebook the ball was/is in his court. He did what he felt needed to be done. Will it work? Only time will tell. Back in the day I would NEVER think of bitching about having to do chores. Did I always want to do them? No. Did I get them done anyway? Not always. Were there consequences for not getting them done? You bet. My dad owned guns too, but he never felt the need to shoot any of my stuff to teach me a lesson. Just because this father took an extreme doesn't necessarily mean he is wrong.
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Old 02-11-2012, 07:43 PM
 
3,404 posts, read 4,143,793 times
Reputation: 2397
I think this was an acceptable way to handle it because she had done this kind of thing before and they already tried grounding her for it. I even had to laugh a bit. I have a dad just like this and he likely would have done the same thing had there been computers in the olden days when I grew up. There is the problem with disrespect here and also the problem kids and adults alike have of posting their most personal &$%@ on the internet. It stays there permanently and children need to be strongly cautioned about doing this.
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:28 PM
 
4,044 posts, read 5,952,401 times
Reputation: 3819
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Wow. A father who actually took control of the situation and did what he thought needed to be done. I'd probably shake the man's hand.
We seem to often disagree. Glad to find one where we don't.

I still don't think the act will truly "fix" the daughter because there are many layers of explanation beneath an antagonistic parent-child relationship, but at this point, this is what the man needed to do because the child is already spoiled rotten.

The daughter will not suddenly have a change of heart and decide that bringing your parent a cup of coffee or helping them out in the house does not mean being a slave but it is rather something that should come from the heart; a mixture of affection and obligation towards your family, not just sheer rules. The rules can always be broken and she wanted to do just that.

What is sad and scary to me is that so many parents EXPECT that their teen will turn out and act exactly like that.
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:40 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,368,217 times
Reputation: 32243
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
We seem to often disagree. Glad to find one where we don't.

..... bringing your parent a cup of coffee or helping them out in the house does not mean being a slave but it is rather something that should come from the heart; a mixture of affection and obligation towards your family, not just sheer rules.
It IS pretty nice we agree on this one. from me too!

I especially like your words about affection and things coming from the heart. How very, very true those words are.
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Chicago 'burbs'
1,022 posts, read 2,980,675 times
Reputation: 720
I just have to say, I love this video. Would I shoot my daughters computer? No, because I live in town & that would be breaking the law myself. I might take a hammer to it if she did this, though. I hope I am never tested with anything like this. My kids disrespect me sometimes, but I don't think they'd EVER do something like this kid did. She has to suffer the consequences for her actions. Her Dad's consequences may be different from yours or mine, but he followed through and I'm sure his daughter learned something.

If he did nothing we'd be saying what a crappy Dad he is - to do nothing when his daughter was acting like a spoiled, disrespectful little brat.......
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:44 PM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 1,218,443 times
Reputation: 876
Saying get me a cup of coffee and her doing it is not true affection nor is the action coming from the heart. Her asking dad if he wants a cup then getting it is doing it because she wants to. You cant force someone to have genuine feeling or make them bend to your will with a smile on their face. Punishing her may have the desired effect of getting her to comply but its unlikely she will do it with a genuine heart, she wont realize for many many years that her dad may be teaching her something.
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Old 02-11-2012, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Chicago 'burbs'
1,022 posts, read 2,980,675 times
Reputation: 720
Quote:
Originally Posted by vaughanwilliams View Post
Just another pseudo tough guy with a gun. I hope his daughter leaves home and never looks back.
I'm sure she'll get real far with that crappy attitude..... Maybe she should just learn something from her tough guy Dad.
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Old 02-11-2012, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
Saying get me a cup of coffee and her doing it is not true affection nor is the action coming from the heart. Her asking dad if he wants a cup then getting it is doing it because she wants to. You cant force someone to have genuine feeling or make them bend to your will with a smile on their face. Punishing her may have the desired effect of getting her to comply but its unlikely she will do it with a genuine heart, she wont realize for many many years that her dad may be teaching her something.
We don't know that he barks orders at his daughter, do we? I, for one, think a parent is setting a very bad example when they ORDER their children to do things. Oh, I'm not against telling a kid, "You need to finish your homework." or "You need to clean up your room." or "You need to bring down your laundry." However, I do think it's bad manners to bark orders, rather than "requesting" something of them. "Will you bring me a cup of coffee please?" "Hon, would you please take out the trash?"....followed by a "Thank you". Parents need to model the behavior and manners that they want/expect their children to have. Rude parents end up with rude children.
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