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Old 02-10-2012, 08:58 AM
 
8,247 posts, read 4,562,220 times
Reputation: 15672
Quote:
Punishing your children is extreme parenting
No, extreme punishment is poor parenting.

I have raised 1 teenager and have another one who is 14 in the FB age. They have pulled stunts on FB that broke the rules and pissed me off, but the punishment was clear, reflective of the offense, and non-violent.

The laptop goes away for a proscribed period of time (locked in the car trunk) and there is a sit-down discussion about what is appropriate online behaviour and WHY--beyond just the fact that feelings were hurt. The consequences of posting trash online is that anyone can see it--employers, friends' parents, respected relatives, etc. That is the WHY behind the rules.

This guy seemed to be reacting from an emotional place where felt he had lost control and power over his daughter, and needed to "save face" by making an extreme public gesture. It was reactionary and childish.

Kids vent and curse about their parents to their friends. That is not a punishable offense in my book. And there is no need for a parent to take it personally.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:02 AM
 
8,247 posts, read 4,562,220 times
Reputation: 15672
Quote:
Originally Posted by believe007 View Post
Btw- his points are excellent- look at what your kids are posting about ya'll secretly on Facebook; If you only knew....
Why should I care? If their settings are private it makes no matter to me what they say to their friends. I ***** about them in private fora as well.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:07 AM
Status: "Poking txtqueen." (set 21 hours ago)
 
Location: hunt valley
5,847 posts, read 2,577,666 times
Reputation: 2740
Quote:
Originally Posted by RPON View Post
Vents about life? She cussed her family out and complained because she had to do chores them demanded to be paid to do chores! Uh no. That isn't venting if she wanted to vent she could have talked to her parents but instead she blocked them from seeing it and obviously had no interest in getting things changed at her home if she had she would have sat them down and talked to them like a mature person would do.
Generally venting is not done to the person, you talk to a neutral party or just write somewhere. She said a few dirty words in a venting letter which is hardly what i would call "cussing them out". So yeah like any teen, she's pissed over the work she has to do and moans about it...big freaking deal. I mean they actually grounded her for 3 months before over this and now shoot her computer up over it, and you think this guy is stable?
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,779,228 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
*poke*
I'm bleeding. And my skin's allegedly thick

This dude can act in the commercial.

"Honey, my computer doesn't work."

"Oh, let me shoot it"
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:22 AM
 
890 posts, read 720,190 times
Reputation: 1167
I think the actions of the father were appalling. At that range he should have a much tighter group.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:28 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,878 posts, read 18,404,241 times
Reputation: 29231
Quote:
Originally Posted by RPON View Post
wasteful. Yep probably so...but he did say she had to buy a new computer I still would not have shot it lol...foolish and stupid how so? Obviously he felt he was at the end of his rope and decided this was the only way to get threw to his daughter...
I guess that I find that level of wastefulness to be foolish and stupid. He's ticked about the $130 he just spent to upgrade her laptop, right? So sell the thing for $150 on Craigslist. Instead, he announced, "You will pay me back for that software." Yeah right. Why not pay yourself back now instead of being a martyr about it? Or take a video of yourself driving to Goodwill, donating the laptop, getting a receipt, and driving away, saying, "Bye, laptop! Enjoy your new home!" Or giving it to cleaning lady/friend or her kid ... if she's trading cleaning their house for something, I bet she could use a free laptop.

I think the message is fairly funny, and I like that he made a scene on his daughter's Facebook profile. However, she's still able to post on Facebook--he can't feasibly stop her, so shooting her laptop didn't solve the problem. Is shooting her laptop going to transform this girl into a respectful, obedient teenager? I bet you a buck it does not.

So what DID it accomplish besides wasting several hundred dollars? Did the video declare unequivocably that Mom and Dad are not to be trifled with? Maybe you got that impression, but I don't. Previous groundings did not work, and according to the Dad's description, she had a cell phone, iPod, and newly upgraded laptop. Maybe she was a spoiled teenager and Dad is just now realizing what he and his wife had wrought.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:28 AM
Status: "Poking txtqueen." (set 21 hours ago)
 
Location: hunt valley
5,847 posts, read 2,577,666 times
Reputation: 2740
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorado^ View Post
i think the actions of the father were appalling. At that range he should have a much tighter group.
Well he is an 'IT guy' after all
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:37 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
20,878 posts, read 18,404,241 times
Reputation: 29231
Here's another idea. That dad said a few times that his daughter's life was going to get "a lot harder," but taking away a luxury item is not going to make her life "hard." If she uses it for school, which I wouldn't doubt (my daughter is the same age and has to use our computer several times a week for school), she's going to have to use something else. That means taking time on the family computer ("harder" for everyone else too) or spending time at the library or computer lab (guess who gets to shuttle her, AND that takes time away from the chores).

Better to take the thing away and make her earn it back with chores. She wanted to get paid for doing chores, right? She could have. Wages would be applied to buying her laptop back.

Instead, now she has to get a job and buy something she already owned, rather than putting the money to better use. So, yeah ... foolish.
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Old 02-10-2012, 09:37 AM
 
6,377 posts, read 2,815,528 times
Reputation: 9816
Quote:
Originally Posted by RPON View Post
Lol...I don't think what he did was extreme...sometimes takes things different to get a teenagers attention...He didn't harm anyone,he paid for the computer I see nothing wrong...just because we don't agree with the way someone does something doesn't mean its wrong.
It wasn't extreme; in fact I need him to come & shoot our laptops next
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Andersonville, Chicago
7,845 posts, read 7,704,362 times
Reputation: 5218
Way to teach you child how to deal with situations. Just use a gun and get rid of it!
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