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Old 02-16-2012, 09:04 AM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,670,750 times
Reputation: 5537

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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
What would any single parent do?

I don't know. How about grow the heck up?

You have a daughter. You were man enough to get into bed and make a baby, how about manning up and putting that child ahead of your own desire to go out and have a good time?

You've not written one word about what's best for this little girl. Everything has been, "me", "I", "what I want". News flash: Those things come second now and your daughter comes first.

Notice you also didn't write one word about finding a wonderful woman to be a good mother to your daughter? It's all what you want for you. Sorry. That's not how grown-*** men think. You don't need a date. You need to sit and think about what you need to do to become the grown-up father your daughter deserves.
I'd rep you 3000 times if i could

 
Old 02-16-2012, 02:48 PM
 
Location: NC
169 posts, read 497,564 times
Reputation: 102
mitopcat,

You've gotten a lot of good responses - and, yes, you do need to do what is in the best interest of your daughter. That's what good parents do whether they are single or not. But it also sounds like it would be good if you met some other single parents to see how they are coping with raising kids as well as dating and the other challenges of being a single parent. Have you checked out Parents Without Partners? Parents Without Partners -- Home Page
You may also want to see if any meetup groups for single parents are in your area (Find a Meetup Group near you - Meetup). If there isn't one, you can start your own group.

I was a single parent for about 10 years and got married two years ago to a single dad. I'm in my 40s. Dating as a single parent is not easy and there are things that you need to be careful about for you and your daughter's sake, but you can do it. Really, you can date and even get married when you are over 30 - it's not the end of the world. :-)

Something else to think about ... Do you really want a relationship with a woman who thinks it's OK that you left your daughter with her messed up mother? I don't know you, but my guess is that you don't. You probably want a woman in your life who appreciates you *and* your daughter. You can find her, but take your time and be a good dad. You can do both. It will be worth it.
 
Old 02-17-2012, 05:58 AM
 
2,259 posts, read 4,330,750 times
Reputation: 3736
This is one of those "Do you hear yourself? Do you hear what you're saying here?" moments...

So the OP is divorced with a 7 year old girl and has sole custody. The thought of her going to live with her mother is "horrible" because of past abuse. But now that a job with travel has become available, the OP is considering sending the girl back to live with her mother so he can flit around the country and meet women?

My jaw literally dropped reading the OP's messages here... Is anyone else picturing the face of a 7 year old girl when told that her stable home life with her father is going away and she's going back to live with an abuser or enabling-abuser?
 
Old 02-17-2012, 08:23 AM
 
Location: New York City
2,814 posts, read 5,874,496 times
Reputation: 3143
This is such a sad situation. Sounds like neither parent is up to raising her and loving her unconditionally. Is there a wonderful grandparent in the picture who will take her?
 
Old 02-17-2012, 08:53 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,109,599 times
Reputation: 42377
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