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Probably wouldn't expect an 18-year-old to put down the phone on his own, but he might need to be reminded that he's there to visit a relative, and to put the phone away for a while.
I rather like the 18-year-olds who can text AND keep up with the conversation at the same time. That takes a certain amount of talent and intelligence.
Text, text, text, "Yes, we studied that in Romantic Literature. I prefer Coleridge." Text, text, text.
I rather like the 18-year-olds who can text AND keep up with the conversation at the same time. That takes a certain amount of talent and intelligence.
Text, text, text, "Yes, we studied that in Romantic Literature. I prefer Coleridge." Text, text, text.
I guess that would be a good way to judge! Hehehe.
I wouldn't want my daughter visiting my mother, though, and staring at her phone the entire time. She doesn't--she really loves her grandmother and loves to spend time with her, so I didn't have to tell her not to.
Kids don't always have the concept that some of these family members are not going to be around much longer.
I realize a lot of peopel think I'm wrong here. I find it odd that I'm the only one expects respect. Yes, teens are teens, but it doesn't mean it should be tolerated. I was a teen once - rude and selfish at times, I'm sure. But I also knew about manners and respect.
And since I didn't tell the other parts, I might as well since people seem to think I'm so wrong here. The kid took half a bag of Butterfingers candy that I had brought to share. Not one or 2, but half the bag. The rest of us had 1-2, then this kid took more. There was 5 left in the bag and my 6 y/o nephew went to take another and this kid took them all, one right from my nephew who said "hey!". I said something too but he just said "too bad" and put them in his pockets. First, I would NEVER do that in anyone's house, esp. not a strangers house. Second, tot ake from a child?
THEN he overflowed my mother's toilet and didn't tell us. Quite a while after he used the bathroom, I went to use it, and saw water was all over the floor and overflowing from the toilet. Really? I don't care if you're embarrassed, you tell someone when do that in their house.
I'm not sorry to be angry about these things - there's being a rude, obnoxious teen and then there's just plain disrespect and no manners.
I would be very angry too. Can you talk to your nephew about it before the next visit? Maybe he needs to be aware that even though Grandma welcomes him into her home, she expects some manners - from him as well as any of his friends. He may just be oblivious because nobody has told him. And it seems like you could intervene with him and/or his friend when you see something obnoxious happening. Use it as a teachable moment like "that bag of candy was brought so that everyone could have about the same amount and I expect you to share even with a friend's little brother" or "phones get turned off when we're in a restaurant". If the nephew or his friend don't like the rules, then they can leave (I'm assuming they drive themselves). Or take him or his friend aside before they leave and remind them that they should say "thank you". It's more effort for you, but maybe it will pay off.
So anyone who doesn't agree with you knows nothing about "manners and respect"? Convenient.
And what did you say? Apparently, nothing. The child appear to be a jerk. But you are complicit as well. It takes a village is not just an idiom. I would NEVER have ALLOWED that to happen as you did. Certainly, I would never allow an teenager "to take from a child" in my presence.
I'm not sorry to be angry about these things - there's being a rude, obnoxious teen and then there's just plain disrespect and no manners.
And then there is complaining after the fact online instead of demanding respect at the time when it could have done everyone some good. In life people tend to get treat you the way you ALLOW them to treat you.[/quote]
I never said that about the manners and respect. People are just assuming I don't welcome others into my home because of how I felt.
I said nothing to the kid, because he immediately took off outside and never came back. Had he shown back up then yes I woudl said something, but I could not find them outside anywhere.
You can bet when I see my nephew again that I WILL tell him why his friends are no longer allowed there. I have no problems telling them what happened. However, we were at my mom's house and she chose to let it go. As far as I'm concerned, if she wants to let her house be treated that way, who am I to argue?
I would be very angry too. Can you talk to your nephew about it before the next visit? Maybe he needs to be aware that even though Grandma welcomes him into her home, she expects some manners - from him as well as any of his friends. He may just be oblivious because nobody has told him. And it seems like you could intervene with him and/or his friend when you see something obnoxious happening. Use it as a teachable moment like "that bag of candy was brought so that everyone could have about the same amount and I expect you to share even with a friend's little brother" or "phones get turned off when we're in a restaurant". If the nephew or his friend don't like the rules, then they can leave (I'm assuming they drive themselves). Or take him or his friend aside before they leave and remind them that they should say "thank you". It's more effort for you, but maybe it will pay off.
Actually, neither drives, or even has a license. They come with us.
Talking has done nothing because they just laugh and ignore us. The only reason we have put up with it is because my sister-in-law won't allow us to see my little nephew without taking the older one. And before you say anything about talking to my brother, you should know my sister wears the pants the in the house and he goes along with whatever she says.
I love my little nephew very much and would hate to never see him again because of my sister-in-law.
But I can't say I haven't been tempted to just let it happen.
I realize a lot of peopel think I'm wrong here. I find it odd that I'm the only one expects respect. Yes, teens are teens, but it doesn't mean it should be tolerated. I was a teen once - rude and selfish at times, I'm sure. But I also knew about manners and respect.
And since I didn't tell the other parts, I might as well since people seem to think I'm so wrong here. The kid took half a bag of Butterfingers candy that I had brought to share. Not one or 2, but half the bag. The rest of us had 1-2, then this kid took more. There was 5 left in the bag and my 6 y/o nephew went to take another and this kid took them all, one right from my nephew who said "hey!". I said something too but he just said "too bad" and put them in his pockets. First, I would NEVER do that in anyone's house, esp. not a strangers house. Second, tot ake from a child?
THEN he overflowed my mother's toilet and didn't tell us. Quite a while after he used the bathroom, I went to use it, and saw water was all over the floor and overflowing from the toilet. Really? I don't care if you're embarrassed, you tell someone when do that in their house.
I'm not sorry to be angry about these things - there's being a rude, obnoxious teen and then there's just plain disrespect and no manners.
What did your nephew think of his friend's behavior? I'd have been embarrassed if my friend behaved that way.
I don't think you are wrong to be upset. I think the problem is not at all that the nephew brought a friend, but that the friend had no manners.
Just allow no more friends to come along.
That solves the rude friends.
As for the nephew, he's 18, have fun with that, there is NOTHING you can do, except ignore it.
I'd like to see someone take away his phone on a trip away from "EVERYTHING"...you won't get till the count of 3 till an epic melt down would ensue.
CTGirlNoMore...I sure hope for the sake of your little nephew that you resist that temptation...it's not really her fault....it's not your little nephews fault...it can simply be blamed on your older nephews poor lack of choice in friends...I would just let it go...but only AFTER I had a talk with your sisters oldest child....he needs to know how you feel, and that you expect more from any future friends he may bring by.
PUREHUMAN - that's why I never would go through with it. Can't fault the little one for his brother's behavior and his mother's lack of caring about it.
Sadly, things like taking the phone away or saying you can't bring it are just ammunition for my SIL to withhold the kids from us - and if we want to see the little one, we HAVE to take the older one. And no amount of rule-making has worked, so we are just forced to deal with it.
Oh, and you can bet that I WILL be telling my nephew what I thought of his friend.
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That takes a certain amount of talent and intelligence. 
