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I was a VERY picky eater when I was a kid. PB&J-every-day kind of picky. My mother gave me a multi and a squirt of cod liver oil under the tongue every day.
Hate to say this but a lot of picky eating is because Mom and/or Dad are lousy cooks. My brother was also a picky eater and both of us agree we were picky because our Mother had absolutely NO talent in the kitchen. Wonderful mother. Tremendously awful cook.
He was a PB&J kid, but now he doesn't like that either. And I know it's not my cooking or that we are unadventurous or picky ourselves, or that we eat a lot of unhealthy junk. None of these things are the case. I think it's a sensory issue for him.
I think that you have more of a power struggle than a picky eater. Your son eats a bunch of different foods. I would back off on badgering him about eating.
It is not bad to be thin as long as he is healthy. My son is 6' tall and weighs between 135-140 lb. He is very thin, but healthy. He is not a picky eater, yet he is thin. Some people are just thin and that does not need to be a bad thing.
If he weighs 41 lb he only needs a few ounces of chicken at a time. He does not need more and may feel overwhelmed by insistence that eat more. A small person has a small stomach and will not necessarily eat large portions of food at one time. If you combine the idea of being overwhelmed by large amounts of food and then being badgered about what he will and will not eat he probably is just turned off to the process.
I would work to stop commenting on his food. Allow him to enjoy however much food he wants to enjoy. Make pleasant conversation that does not revolve around food and eating. I think that if you take these suggestions he may just relax enough to start eating more.
My son has a friend that is a picky eater. He is small for his age, and thin, but healthy. His parents do not force him to eat things he does not like. He is 13 now and his appetite has increased lately. I noticed that he is still picky (just his personality) but he eats much more than he used to eat. I think that is just because he is growing and he needs more food. Kids will eat what they need and small children eat small quantities of food. As they get bigger they eat more.
]My youngest liked what he liked and while I wouldn't call him picky (nor would I call your son picky) and he would eat plenty of the things he likes and is now 6' tall and a whopping 122 lbs. He has always been thin and probably always will be thin but he is healthy and that is really what is of concern, not so much how much he weighs. Your son weighs about what he did at the same age. We also encouraged high fat snacks, ice cream with him mostly. He is just fine.
Hey-I found one thinner than mine (6', 135 ish)!!
My son is not a picky eater, he will eat anything, he eats a lot and he is still quite thin.
He's just thin. I just looked at his record and on his 7th birthday he was 75th percentile for height, 25th for weight (same as his 15th BD). He has always been thin. My doctor has never been concerned about his weight and he is not a sickly kid.
My son is not a picky eater, he will eat anything, he eats a lot and he is still quite thin.
He's just thin. I just looked at his record and on his 7th birthday he was 75th percentile for height, 25th for weight (same as his 15th BD). He has always been thin. My doctor has never been concerned about his weight and he is not a sickly kid.
Here's what weird about things...at the last check up, his doctor said that he had not grown in a year (but by my records and living with him my son grew 3 inches). He stands 4'4". The scales put him at 42 lbs which gives him a BMI of less than 1%. He also dropped below the 5th percentile on his doctor's chart over 2 years ago. His doctor said he can see the curve for my son and he is leveling out a bit but where is right for him. In the same sentence, he will say that his eating is not normal and blah blah blah.
I don't know what to do because he always seemed to have a problem digesting things. His doctor won't listen to my concern about it. I bought a scale and he gains a few ounces a week. If he was anywhere in the "normal" range for weight I would be less concerned. You can see everyone of his ribs and he can suck in his gut so much that you can see the hips, where they curve in, and you can see his stomach area when its full. Funny but gross at the same time.
Here's what weird about things...at the last check up, his doctor said that he had not grown in a year (but by my records and living with him my son grew 3 inches). He stands 4'4". The scales put him at 42 lbs which gives him a BMI of less than 1%. He also dropped below the 5th percentile on his doctor's chart over 2 years ago. His doctor said he can see the curve for my son and he is leveling out a bit but where is right for him. In the same sentence, he will say that his eating is not normal and blah blah blah.
I don't know what to do because he always seemed to have a problem digesting things. His doctor won't listen to my concern about it. I bought a scale and he gains a few ounces a week. If he was anywhere in the "normal" range for weight I would be less concerned. You can see everyone of his ribs and he can suck in his gut so much that you can see the hips, where they curve in, and you can see his stomach area when its full. Funny but gross at the same time.
I hope you don't take offense... Could his not eating be a direct reaction to your fixation? Weighing your child weekly IS fixation. I would definitely try backing ALL the way off.
I hope you don't take offense... Could his not eating be a direct reaction to your fixation? Weighing your child weekly IS fixation. I would definitely try backing ALL the way off.
I don't personally weigh him...ever since I bought the scale, he has been in there daily. He weighs everything he can get his hands on. I only know what he weighs because he keeps tab of it. They also did a project in his class and scouts about being overweight.
I know his eating habits is not because of this...he didn't eat long before it. He takes a weird pride in being the thinnest kid in his class and grade. He eats when he's hungry.
I know it sounds like I fixate on this but I don't. I am more concerned because what he eats are high calorie foods but he's
not gaining any weight.
And I NEVER talk to him about his eating or lack there of. I do make comments about him being skinny because he hates the tabs on adjustable waist pants but wearing a size 7 pants with a 4 waist doesn't happen easily.
He refuses to try new foods or flavors. Even when you point out that he loves the flavor he won't eat the real thing. For instance he loves strawberry yogurt but refuses to try a strawberry. He loves applesauce but not apples. Don't even get me started on meats. His definition of "eating chicken" is about 3 bites.
Even this part, where you mention times you've "commented" on his eating?
That's the stuff that makes "picky" eaters draw their line in the sand. It becomes about control.
Talking about being skinny just happens. Skinny kids KNOW they're skinny. But the comments about what he eats and when and how much and the, "But you LOVE granola!" stuff will only make things worse.
He's eating. That's not the problem. The problem is how you define and characterize what your kids eat as good or bad.
"His definition of eating chicken" does not meet your standard. But your trying to make him come around to your definition of eating chicken probably isn't going to work.
I had one doctor tell me that the dinner table often becomes like a stage where all our little quirks, anxieties and dysfunctions show up. My bottom-line advice is that you cannot "cure" a picky eater. You can only stop your own bad habits.
And I NEVER talk to him about his eating or lack there of. I do make comments about him being skinny because he hates the tabs on adjustable waist pants but wearing a size 7 pants with a 4 waist doesn't happen easily.
I guess I don't understand how you can be never talking to him about food and having him REFUSE (your emphasis IIRC) foods. Put the plate down. Leave it alone.
I guess I don't understand how you can be never talking to him about food and having him REFUSE (your emphasis IIRC) foods. Put the plate down. Leave it alone.
Here's how our dinner time usually goes:
Me: Would you like to help me cook dinner tonight?
Him: No
Me: Okay
(I now cook dinner)
Me: Come get your step stool...its dinner time
(he didn't like eating at the table so he eats on a step stool. His decision not mine but not worth the fight. He has great table manners when we eat out)
Him: Ugh...Gross! This isn't what I wanted.
Me: Oh well. This is dinner, and you like (blank).
Him: Fine, but I'm not eating anything else!
Me: That's fine. You know the rules. Taste everything on the plate and you get dessert.
Him: There I ate. What's for dessert? (bear in mind he ate one food item only)
Me: Did you taste everything?
Him: No. Where's my dessert!
(You can guess where this is going)
Me: No taste...no dessert. Rules haven't changed in the past 2 years.
Him: Fine. (he takes 1 bite of everything else on the plate minus veggies)
Me: Okay. You can have a granola bar or "special milkshake" for dessert. (his special milkshake is an instant breakfast in ice cream.)
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