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Old 02-27-2012, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,871,772 times
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this is where open concept floor plan comes in handy. I can be cooking and still see what is happening with the rest of the family.

Still I announce "I'm preparing supper right now and I'll call you 5 minutes before I plan to serve." That gives them time to wash up and get their own beverage. But usually I have them in the kitchen with me helping in some way, if only to set the table, put some dishes in the dishwasher or some other chore.

I would not let them take you away from your food preparation. It would be too easy (for me) to screw something up by not remembering where I was, something on the stove too long, etc.
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Old 02-27-2012, 01:37 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,420,896 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I personally think it is quite endearing that they want to share the wonders of the world with a parent. All too soon some kids don't want to talk to parents at all.
I think so too. Yes, sometimes it IS annoying but what Zimbochick says is true ~ all too soon you are obsolete and no one wants to 'Show Mommy" anything!

Tip up that wine and enjoy your family!
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Old 02-27-2012, 01:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by golfgal View Post
I had a friend that has a family like that. I couldn't stand being at her house because we were constantly interrupted by her kids. It isn't "cute", it's rude.
Yah I am in the interupting is annoying and rude camp too.
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Old 02-27-2012, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
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Dew......I LOVE your approach. In fact, I've used that one on hubby. Hey, ya do what ya gotta do.

GG.....I'm with you. Sometimes, it's inevitable that a parent will have to deal with their children, but if it's a constant thing, I'm going to assume that they have far more important things to deal with than company.

Of course, it doesn't just have to be at their house. I have a strict policy. If you call me, then constantly order your children around, yell at them frequently, or stop our converstation repeatedly, while you're on the phone with me (to talk to anyone), our conversation is going to stop quite quickly. I will tell you, "Hey, it sounds like your kids need you/you're busy. I've got some things I'm in the middle of. You go take care of your kids, I'll take care of my stuff and maybe we can talk some other time...CLICK!"

I don't talk on the phone often and I am generally always available to my children, however....unless it's a dire emergency, they get one....ONE interruption if I have company or am on the phone. They learned from a very early age that if they are rude and interrupt...that they did NOT want my attention after all!
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:08 PM
 
6,129 posts, read 6,783,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
I personally think it is quite endearing that they want to share the wonders of the world with a parent. All too soon some kids don't want to talk to parents at all.
That's where I am. I figure in about 5 years I'll miss all this attention. My daughter is 8, so by 13 she won't care at all what I think about anything.

Of course, the wine makes it easier to live with all the love.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Personally I LOVE it when I'm asked for approval.

"Honey, that's awful. I'm SO glad you cleaned that out. Wow. I had no idea. Thank you for doing that for us."

Then I kiss him on top of the head and rub him on the back and say, "You know the sink has been draining kind of slow can take a look at it while you're here?"



It's all in the approach.
I LOVE IT!!! LMAO!

Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
No. You are not the only one with a "Show Mommy" family. Sometimes I think I'm so lucky. Sometimes.....all I can think is, "SERIOUSLY!?" Of course, I also have one of those families who has to be sure and let me know (looking for praise?) that they did something that I do every day...sometimes several times per day. For instance, I love it (yes, being sarcastic here) when my son washes the dishes and then says, "Mom, I washed the dishes so you wouldn't have to." I wanna be sarcastic, I really do. Sometimes, I DO make a smart aleck remark, but then apologize and thank him, but come ON....he's standing there like a puppy who just returned the ball to me. You know he's wanting a pat on the head and praise. "Good for you sweetie. I haven't dirtied a single dish today. I'm glad to see that you washed your dishes. Good job son!"
I believe we share a brain!
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,696,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinawina View Post
That's where I am. I figure in about 5 years I'll miss all this attention. My daughter is 8, so by 13 she won't care at all what I think about anything.

Of course, the wine makes it easier to live with all the love.



I LOVE IT!!! LMAO!
Maybe, maybe not! My 20 somethings still have to share everything with me. Most of the time I think I'm the luckiest mom in the world. Occasionally, I want to tell them they really need to get more friends. Occasionally, I want to run from the room with my hands over my ears, screaming, "TMI!! TMI!! Oh for God's sake TMI!!! I am your MOTHER!! There are some things that you might want to NOT share with your MOTHER!!!"
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:28 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 7,417,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Yah I am in the interupting is annoying and rude camp too.
Add one more to the camp.

What the OP is describing feeds directly into the arguments made recently on the "restaurant" thread. It is simply about a generation of children that demands a lot of attention from parents because the children have been conditioned to get it very early on. By contrast, they have little inclination to pay attention TO adults when the adults request it. The more attention we pay to them, the less attention they pay to US when we request it.

We include ourselves in our children's play lives very early on so we make sure they are "stimulated", and then we create little ones completely addicted to our attention. They want us as an audience at all times, they want to "show" us, to "have us in the play", bounce any play idea off of us - hence the calls, the interruptions, the preference for being in the company of adults rather than other children.
And parents are supposed to enjoy it - AT ALL TIMES. Not just during parent-kids fun times, but at all times.
If you don't - you're suspected of one or several of the following sins:

- being a "child-hater"
- regretting having had children
- not loving to spend time with your own children
- having no "sense of humor"
- not putting your "family first"

Recently my sister was commenting on how she sees children everywhere who never seem to enjoy playing FOR themselves - they often seem to be playing for the eyes of the parent. They can't spend more than a few minutes into their play without returning to the parent to "show" them, to "perform" for them or otherwise engage their attention.

While the parent may find many of these moments endearing, a child demanding constant attention can end up being extremely exhausting.

Now excuse me while I am redirecting my attention towards my son who just came to show me how he added yet another little part to his Lego dinosaur. (For real).
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:29 PM
 
3,516 posts, read 6,765,919 times
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I'd appreciate that they want you around all the time if I were you. Soon your kids will be teenagers who never tell or show you anything and then they become adults who will have their own lives and still won't include you in anything. Cherish the excess attention.
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:30 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 7,417,416 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post

Of course, it doesn't just have to be at their house. I have a strict policy. If you call me, then constantly order your children around, yell at them frequently, or stop our converstation repeatedly, while you're on the phone with me (to talk to anyone), our conversation is going to stop quite quickly. I will tell you, "Hey, it sounds like your kids need you/you're busy. I've got some things I'm in the middle of. You go take care of your kids, I'll take care of my stuff and maybe we can talk some other time...CLICK!"

I don't talk on the phone often and I am generally always available to my children, however....unless it's a dire emergency, they get one....ONE interruption if I have company or am on the phone. They learned from a very early age that if they are rude and interrupt...that they did NOT want my attention after all!
Respect.
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Old 02-27-2012, 02:34 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 7,417,416 times
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Originally Posted by UnexpectedError View Post
I'd appreciate that they want you around all the time if I were you. Soon your kids will be teenagers who never tell or show you anything and then they become adults who will have their own lives and still won't include you in anything. Cherish the excess attention.
I would politely disagree. Just because it is natural for teenagers to want a certain amount of privacy while they begin to discover their independence, doesn't mean that parents should enjoy being overwhelmed by constant requests for attention from their 0-12 yo.

This is the "all-you-can-eat buffet" mentality. Eat now tons while you can 'cause you will find the refrigerator empty at home later. Nah-huh.

Life doesn't work that way.

Funny thing is all people I know who grew up the old-fashioned way, with well-defined boundaries between the adult and the child world, became very close to their parents in adulthood. Their parents did not simply become "obsolete" to them. Now that both generations are in adulthood, they enjoy the strong bonds that come with being able to communicate at the same level. When your adult child won't include you in anything or you will not want to be included in anything with them, or both - then there were much deeper problems in that parent-child relationship in the first place.

Social and emotional distance between adult parents and adult children is not normal.

Last edited by syracusa; 02-27-2012 at 02:50 PM..
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