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I've certainly evolved as a parent. I've learned. I'm still learning. My boys are 8 years apart. Children have parents and need parents for a reason! Discipline, IMO, involves structure, boundaries, admonishment, encouragement, respect, trust etc.
I expect that children will test boundaries, they will react based upon feelings and emotions(especially when younger), they expect the world to revolve around their thinking, feeling and wanting, they won't always agree with parents, they are unique individual beings who deserve respect, yes, even from a parent. If I am wrong as a parent, I will say I'm wrong and I have no problem apologizing.
They can expect that I (and my husband) will make decisions that I believe are in their best interests because I am the parent and not the lady next door. I will be fair. I will not allow you to flip off at the mouth in any wise(it physically hurts to think this actually happens in the world) however, I will allow you to express your feelings in a respectable manner. I believe in "spankings" if neccesary and I think if it's going to be done pain isn't of the devil, the purpose of the belt on your behind is not to tickle you. School is your job. Church is a must. Whatever rules I have in place that you disagree with is more to fantasize about when you turn 18 and can happily float out of my house and into your own. Communication and affection are also key
And if they float away, my money stays with me
You are my new idol!
Hmmm. Only 'like minded' people should post? It's kind of hard to regulate that.
I agree with 'pick your battles.'
I don't think there is anything wrong with the expectation that your child attend church though. It's really not something I had a choice about ~ until I went to college and promptly quit going for several years.
But some of the other things don't sound ~ at least in your other thread ~ that they are working all that well for you.
Actually they were not working for text girl (who has no kids) and several others. Another thing we don'r permit - texting in the presence of real live people - just plain rude!
They have worked FINE. She WAS testing the limits, was corrected, punished and apologetic.
She is strong willed and tests boundaries. We stuck to our guns and my husband does not plan anymore parenting Va-Cas!
Actually they were not working for text girl (who has no kids) and several others. Another thing we don'r permit - texting in the presence of real live people - just plain rude!
They have worked FINE. She WAS testing the limits, was corrected, punished and apologetic.
She is strong willed and tests boundaries. We stuck to our guns and my husband does not plan anymore parenting Va-Cas!
Do you make her leave the room or something? I mean, my family frequently sits all in the same room doing different things. I think texting while you are talking to other people is rude, but not merely in the presence of others.
I strongly believe in discipline and structure in the home. Children are lost without it and reach out for it if they don't have it.
They feel safe knowing their parents care and love them enough to set boundaries and punish when punishment warrants the situation.
Of course they will test, they wouldn't be kids if they didn't. Just trust and know your doing your best to help them to become productive caring adults that can go out into this mean ugly world and provide for themselves and their future families.
Fight the battles save the wars as they grow older!!!!
I think we sometimes use the word "discipline" when what we really mean is setting standards . . . and teaching our children, by example, what our value system is.
It's not the purpose of the thread. Start your own!
If you are off topic you are hi-jacking the thread
TOS!
You are not real.
I AM on topic. I agree with the subject title, and this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12
Parents who are not afraid to parent - speak up!
...which comes as close as anything in the OP to an actual subject, because you jump from one thing to the next (so there really isn't a topic at all).
I won't tolerate my kid being disrespectul (but I will be careful in defining "disrespectful"), I don't plan on controlling my child as much as teaching him, I do expect him to be nice to people, I don't want him interrupting others (so I will lead by example and not interrupt HIM), I don't want him giving me snide looks (so I won't be giving him any), I will not insist that he goes to church (and this wouldn't change if I were Christian), I see no problem with the word "Frickin", I don't consider the word "Frickin" associated with low class or ignorant people, I have standards that truly MATTER, I will not expect my son to speak the way I spoke (because I don't speak the way my mom spoke), and I do have the right to a peaceful home (and so I will not start unnecessary wars in my household).
Hey, in that moment, I was very much a "like-minded" person. Very similar to you. I skipped from one subject to the next quite rapidly indeed!
I am far from afraid to parent my child. I don't try or want to be my child's friend by any means. We believe in consequences for actions. With that said though, I do choose my battles.
I do as well. That's why I said just that about the "ripped jeans thread"
We all had our styles, and teens do this to differentiate from parents. I think it's harmless.
I would not permit revealing clothes. But ripped jeans? No sweat.
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