people tell me my daughters name doesnt match her race?? (learn, friends)

[bibit612]

Originally Posted by lkb0714

LOL! Can you imagine how much more offensive those comments would be towards their dad?

The weirdest one was when we were flying back from the Philippines when my daughter was maybe 11 months old. My dad put us in first class because it was cheaper than two coach seats, so no lie, Eddie Van Halen and Sebastian Bach (the lead singer of Skid Row a moderately famous band) were sitting in the row behind me. Eddie went to sleep but Sebastian talked almost non-stop and opened with the "is she yours" comment WHILE I was breast feeding her. Could you imagine if I wasnt? Just some sort of REALLY dedicated nanny?? Ugh, I guess they aren't rock stars because they are brilliant.

That is really funny! Were you from the Philippines? My husband who's Caucasian was grocery shopping as well with the two kids in tow when an older lady proceeded to interrogate him:

Lady: Are your kids adopted?
Him: No ma'am. They're my biological children.
Lady: Where's your wife from?
Him: She's from the Philippines.
Lady: Were you in the service over there?
Him: No ma'am and I do have to go.

He thought it was hilarious...so did I...lady must have been like 70+.

[no kudzu]

Our Vietnamese angels are only 4 months apart in age. One day when they were toddlers the pizza delivery guy came to the door. The little girls were right behind their daddy and very excited about meeting somebody new.

Pizza guy: "they are so cute. Are they twins?"

Daddy: "No they are four months apart in age."

Pizza guy: "Huh? How did you do that?"

Daddy: "Easy. Two different mothers."

Pizza guy just about fell off the porch when Daddy finally figured out why he was so shocked. He couldn't help but add

"It was a great summer."

[malamute]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

Was it an unprofessional comment? The reaction I am hearing makes it sound like, "How dare they think my child is a different race?" Is there something wrong with being a different race where that assumption would be offensive?

Anaya is an unusual name, so you and your daughter are going to encounter this kind of reaction throughout her life. I don't think people mean anything by it--just as people would probably assume things about people named Lars or Francisco or Ming.

I agree. When you choose to give your child an unusual name, people will wonder about the name. Like a boy named Sue, a name influences the way people think. Like it or not -- but then isn't that why more unusual names are given?

[malamute]

Also sometimes patients will make assumptions about a physician's name. I know of a doctor with both a first and last name that was very hispanic however he was from the Philipines. Patients would often assume he would be Spanish speaking and their own race and very openly angry when they realized he was not. Also he was from the Philipines but to Chinese who had immigrated there so he looks Chinese.

[anifani821]

I fail to see where this as an issue. The person at the desk blurted out something on her mind - so she didn't filter her thoughts. Tacky, probably rude, thoughtless . . . yes. Punishable offense . . . no.

I have asked folks many times what the origins of their first or last name might be. I hope I didn't offend anyone.

[Carrie2979]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

Our Vietnamese angels are only 4 months apart in age. One day when they were toddlers the pizza delivery guy came to the door. The little girls were right behind their daddy and very excited about meeting somebody new.

Pizza guy: "they are so cute. Are they twins?"

Daddy: "No they are four months apart in age."

Pizza guy: "Huh? How did you do that?"

Daddy: "Easy. Two different mothers."

Pizza guy just about fell off the porch when Daddy finally figured out why he was so shocked. He couldn't help but add

"It was a great summer."

I love this! Too funny!

[PJ1252]

It has never happened to me as I never had children. But as one of the Southern comedian's said "you can't fix stupid". You know what he is correct, that nurse is a jerk. I have come across people during my lifetime that have unusual names, the reason they are unusal is not their race but it's a long time family name being used.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by PJ1252

It has never happened to me as I never had children. But as one of the Southern comedian's said "you can't fix stupid". You know what he is correct, that nurse is a jerk. I have come across people during my lifetime that have unusual names, the reason they are unusal is not their race but it's a long time family name being used.

Somehow I have a feeling the OP would not be offended if she named her daughter "Heike" or son "Hans" and someone thought she or he might be German.

It's the fact that she used a name commonly used by another race and is offended that someone thought her child might be of that race. Why would you be offended that someone assumed by a name that your child was of the race that 99% of the time uses that name? Like naming a blond child Jamil or LaToya and then being offended that someone thought the child might be black? Is the problem actually due to the race being assumed?

[psr13]

I get the offense, either. My mom and I have last names that don't match our race. People do comment, but it isn't offensive. They aren't expecting white people to walk in if they just see our last names. With my mom they usually assume she's married, but I am young and look younger than I am. Most people don't assume I'm married and ask about my last name.

People also ask often about what race my husband is due to the fact that he doesn't look completely one race. I assume we'll get questions when we have kids, too. The names we will name our kids are very white while our last name isn't. Our kids probably will not look like any particular race, either.

[lkb0714]

Originally Posted by bibit612

That is really funny! Were you from the Philippines?

No though I lived there for many year. My stepmom was filipina and all my siblings are half. We lived in Cavite. My ex husband is half filipino and half american/hawaiian.

My husband who's Caucasian was grocery shopping as well with the two kids in tow when an older lady proceeded to interrogate him:

Lady: Are your kids adopted?
Him: No ma'am. They're my biological children.
Lady: Where's your wife from?
Him: She's from the Philippines.
Lady: Were you in the service over there?
Him: No ma'am and I do have to go.

He thought it was hilarious...so did I...lady must have been like 70+.

Ya people feel completely fine with asking those things or complete strangers. Weird.