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Actually in my first post about this incident, I did say I had waited. I'm not one of those parents who steps in right away. Yes, I could have let the situation play out between the kids. Usually I do. But after waiting it out for a spell I stepped in, thinking I could model to my toddler how to handle a situation like that.
So you think you modeled that well? By escalating?
Huh, I would have just told him to play on something else.
I didn't read the whole thread; but I think it is a generational thing to some extent.
My father is now 91 years old and I can remember being totally mortified by my parents at one time or another for trying to tell other kids what to do!
Yesterday at the playground my aunt became dead set on telling some girls (~5 years old) how to properly play on the seesaw. One girl was sitting backward in her seat, but it didn't look like a safety issue (she was holding on to another set of handlebars) and the girls were all having fun. My aunt's insistence on the girl facing forward in her seat got to the point where she was going to grab the girl to force her to sit normally. That's when I hurriedly said it's time to go and herded my kids into the car. As we were walking to the car, my aunt said she had every right as an adult to teach those girls to use the seesaw properly. I told her that was not teaching, it was borderline creepy because you don't handle other people's children who are not in danger.
Thoughts? I don't know whether this is an age issue (my aunt is in her 70s, so maybe it was common practice years ago to mind other people's children?) or what.
It is purely an age issue. Back in the day we minded almost any adult that lectured us. Things are different now, not always for the better judging from some children's behavior......
I generally wouldn't step in unless I saw a kid doing something that could harm himself or others and there were no parents in sight.
However I did step in a few years ago when a kid was doing something that was just wrong. One of the local elementary schools has a huge playground with different slides for different sized kids. There was a girl about 10 years old pouring soda down the little kids' slide so that the next kid to slide down would get wet and sticky.
I asked her what she was doing and she just shrugged. Then I asked her if she had a paper towel that she could use to clean the mess up. The girl just slunk away. Her mom was on the other side of the playground chatting on her cellphone and not paying attention so I'm pretty sure she had no idea what her kid was doing.
I would have cleaned the mess up, but I didn't have any wipes with me. I think enough kids saw what happened to stay away from the slide.
I agree with you. If they're not in mortal peril or knocking little ones over, I usually mind my own business. I say "usually" because I have a feeling this discussion will morph into questions like, "But what if you saw a child running with a flamethrower? You bet I would step in."
I wasn't exactly being politically correct, holding their toy hostage. The kids had been sliding it up and down to each other. I needed the leverage, though; those kids were refusing to share the slide and my son is young and not keen on climbing down a ladder yet. I figured these kids could use a taste of their own medicine, since asking nicely wasn't getting me anywhere.
I'm still shaking my head at how rudely those youngsters behaved. Where do these kids learn to be so rude at such a young age?
I am not trying to be correct or trying to correct you. What you did would not upset me because I know my daughter would not try to assert herself. She would have gone down the slide when you asked her to politely.
I think what bothered me was the idea "oh, the power I had." I would put more effort in transferring that power to my child.
I didn't read the whole thread; but I think it is a generational thing to some extent.
My father is now 91 years old and I can remember being totally mortified by my parents at one time or another for trying to tell other kids what to do!
I agree. People today are so afraid to get involved in other people's problems. In a way it's nice but sometimes people just need a little outside help. Now it seems like if teachers, parents, or babysitters have no control over kids, they seem to have less chance of changing it.
Yesterday at the playground my aunt became dead set on telling some girls (~5 years old) how to properly play on the seesaw. One girl was sitting backward in her seat, but it didn't look like a safety issue (she was holding on to another set of handlebars) and the girls were all having fun. My aunt's insistence on the girl facing forward in her seat got to the point where she was going to grab the girl to force her to sit normally. That's when I hurriedly said it's time to go and herded my kids into the car. As we were walking to the car, my aunt said she had every right as an adult to teach those girls to use the seesaw properly. I told her that was not teaching, it was borderline creepy because you don't handle other people's children who are not in danger.
Thoughts? I don't know whether this is an age issue (my aunt is in her 70s, so maybe it was common practice years ago to mind other people's children?) or what.
From what I hear, back in your aunt's day, all the adults got involved with each other's kids, this is especially true in some cultures. I have heard stories from people who said the neighbors kept an eye on all the kids and had no problem scolding them when they saw something they didn't like. We are different these days. Everyone is more cautious/careful and afraid to intrude.
I didn't read the whole thread; but I think it is a generational thing to some extent.
My father is now 91 years old and I can remember being totally mortified by my parents at one time or another for trying to tell other kids what to do!
I personally don't agree that it's a generational thing...I think it just shows that some people will try to be controlling no matter what their age...and in this case...aunty was waaaay out of line.
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