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Old 03-15-2012, 12:58 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 714,170 times
Reputation: 1032
Default Another Baby ??

Ok most of you guys on the parenting forum are great at telling me how stupid I am in a nice and motherly (sometime fatherly ) way.


So I need your help. I dont know why but I have this urge to have another baby. (for those who arent familar with me im 21 not married but in a commited long term relationship financially stable and I have a 6 month old daughter)

What is wrong with me? I know I would be wayyyy in over my head with another child but I find myself on pregnancy websites calcualting ovulaton (even though im on the pill) and when I go to get my daughter stuff I look at all the newborn clothes and imagine having a little boy.

Has anyone else went through this? Does it sound normal or do you think it could be some sort of post partum?? Shoudl I talk to a dr? Idk.
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,722,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Ok most of you guys on the parenting forum are great at telling me how stupid I am in a nice and motherly (sometime fatherly ) way.


So I need your help. I dont know why but I have this urge to have another baby. (for those who arent familar with me im 21 not married but in a commited long term relationship financially stable and I have a 6 month old daughter)

What is wrong with me? I know I would be wayyyy in over my head with another child but I find myself on pregnancy websites calcualting ovulaton (even though im on the pill) and when I go to get my daughter stuff I look at all the newborn clothes and imagine having a little boy.

Has anyone else went through this? Does it sound normal or do you think it could be some sort of post partum?? Shoudl I talk to a dr? Idk.
Ohio - do you think you might be reacting to your 6-month old "growing up" so she's not really a baby (infant) anymore?
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:05 PM
 
1,058 posts, read 714,170 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain View Post
Ohio - do you think you might be reacting to your 6-month old "growing up" so she's not really a baby (infant) anymore?

Yes thats it exactly. Shes on solids now and holds her own bottle and falls asleep alone she doesnt need me anymore I want my baby back.
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Philadelphia, PA
3,388 posts, read 1,722,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Yes thats it exactly. Shes on solids now and holds her own bottle and falls asleep alone she doesnt need me anymore I want my baby back.
I know, I know! My daughter is a little younger than yours and the independence has already started! Ok, so here's my take on it, having been through this once before when my son was a wee one: let yourself be a little sad that your daughter isn't a helpless newborn who needs you for every single thing. It's ok to mourn the passing of the developmental stages. But then think about all of the cool things she does still need you to help her with and teach her, and how amazing it is that she is learning from you already. She'll need you to learn to walk and talk and teach her ABCs and a million other things, and one day she'll use those words you taught her to say "love you, Mommy!" and you will about die from the sweetness of it.

So my advice about another baby is this: let yourself go through what you're going through with your daughter now, and then when it seems less sad, think about whether you are ready for another child with whom you will go through all of the same sadness about growing up, too. No right or wrong answer, just try to make the decision out of a balanced place, if that makes sense.

Re: post-partum depression stuff, are you experiencing symptoms and/or is your sadness interfering with your ability to get through life? There's no shame in going to talk to someone if you're having a hard time. But if it's mourning that your little baby girl isn't a baby anymore, and it passes with time, then I'd say what you're going through is probably one of the bittersweet parts about being a parent.
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:27 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,023 posts, read 13,767,354 times
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Aspire for quadruplets, you will have four.

There was this Iranian woman who recently made septuplets.
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Austin
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Natural and instinctive, but check your lifestyle at the door. Are you where you need to be before doing that again? Really?
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Old 03-15-2012, 01:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
12,360 posts, read 9,698,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redvelvet709 View Post
Natural and instinctive, but check your lifestyle at the door. Are you where you need to be before doing that again? Really?
This.

Don't do it. You're right. You have enough going on.

Your children need as much of you as you can give them, and if you have ANOTHER baby, your infant now won't remember any time with you WITHOUT another little kid demanding your attention.

I'm not even going to be nice and motherly on this one. Think about this. I had my youngest child when I was 35. That's 14 years older than you are now. You have A LOT OF TIME to "play baby."

But the kids you already have want as much time as they can get with you. Focus on where you are and what you already have.
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Old 03-15-2012, 02:28 PM
 
1,135 posts, read 1,198,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic View Post
Ok most of you guys on the parenting forum are great at telling me how stupid I am in a nice and motherly (sometime fatherly ) way.


So I need your help. I dont know why but I have this urge to have another baby. (for those who arent familar with me im 21 not married but in a commited long term relationship financially stable and I have a 6 month old daughter)

What is wrong with me? I know I would be wayyyy in over my head with another child but I find myself on pregnancy websites calcualting ovulaton (even though im on the pill) and when I go to get my daughter stuff I look at all the newborn clothes and imagine having a little boy.

Has anyone else went through this? Does it sound normal or do you think it could be some sort of post partum?? Shoudl I talk to a dr? Idk.
I went through this after baby #1 and #2. After having a baby and getting through the first rough months you forget about the aches and pains of pregnancy and want another newborn.

I'd wait a while and see if the urge passes. You are still very young with lots of fertile years ahead of you. Waiting would give you some time to enjoy baby #1 and recover from the rigors of being a new mommy.

Then again, my MIL had baby 1, 2 and 3 between 13 and 15 months apart. She says it was exhausting, but they were great playmates and she was done having kids by age 25.
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Old 03-15-2012, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Wishing I was back in Nebraska.
2,438 posts, read 2,060,847 times
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I'd wait. I have a 15 month old and while I'd love another newborn, its just not the right time. I want him to be more independant before i think about another child. Think about it, if you have one now, your first one will be about 16 or 17 months when your baby is born. My son at 15 months old is STILL very baby like and needs my constant attention. How would you manage that with two? You'll drive yourself crazy.

edit: just as i type, he's freaking out because i'm on the computer. Im trying to clean too and he has NONE of that. I'm lucky if he plays for 2 or 3 hours total in a day on his own. Its just enough time to keep up on the house, but other than that i'm playing with him, singing to him, etc. The TV might keep his attention for 5 mins
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Old 03-15-2012, 03:27 PM
Status: "Turn off the news, get healthy!" (set 29 days ago)
 
5,301 posts, read 2,544,907 times
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Totally natural feeling! It's a woman thing, hormones, we are baby machines.
I have 2 a year apart, but you can wait a couple of months and it will pass. lol

It only rears it's ugly head on occasion, the next time will most likely be around your daughters entry to kindergarten. You can either ignore it or act on it. I went ahead and had another because I wanted more than one.
The only surprise was my the last one, 9 years younger than his siblings. Thought I was ill with cancer, ended up I was pregnant with my son. Had no urges and really didn't feel like I was having another child until I actually gave birth. lol I was so use to only having two it didn't seem real. But.........haha, it was very real. lol
I remember asking the doctor, "no surgery, chemo and it's gone?" He said, nope, this tumor will last forever.
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