Gen Y happy with living with Mom and Dad (toy, boy, kid)

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

Many jobs dont even pay that.
I HAVE to have a roommate to move out, i cant afford it otherwise. I cant find a roommate. Ive been looking ive met up with people, gotten coffee, none of them work out.

None of my friends can roommate either right now.
I want to be completely out, trust me i do but unless tg moves in or i find a roommate, my chances are looking slim. Id love to get a second job but my hours are so weird and i work 12'spretty in the weekend no one is going to work around my schedule.

CAAAAAAAAN'T! Strangely many of us found a way. Weird that innit?

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

Many jobs dont even pay that.
I HAVE to have a roommate to move out, i cant afford it otherwise. I cant find a roommate. Ive been looking ive met up with people, gotten coffee, none of them work out.

None of my friends can roommate either right now.
I want to be completely out, trust me i do but unless tg moves in or i find a roommate, my chances are looking slim. Id love to get a second job but my hours are so weird and i work 12'spretty in the weekend no one is going to work around my schedule.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. You act as if we haven't lived similar lives at one point or another.

[Ringo1]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Let me guess. You're one of these people living with your parents. You also conveniently ignored one of my key points that, of course, an unemployed young adult should indeed be able to fall back on family.

But if you've got a job, it's time to move out. And it has nothing to do with callousness. It has everything to do with teaching one's child the final lesson of parenthood -- how to stand up on one's own two feet and manage one's own affairs. It is a far more cruel thing for a parent to allow a son or daughter to continue in this limbo of semi-adulthood. Because once you get used to a comforting sanctuary where Mom and Dad clean up after you, cook your dinner, supply you with a comfortable home, etc. etc., why on earth would you want to leave?

And the 'helping them pay the bills' argument is a bit of a head fake. Because the odds are pretty good that the parents might be wanting a wholesale lifestyle change, rather than keeping the same household that was there when you were in high school and college. Instead of helping them pay the bills, what you very well may be doing is forcing them to remain in the same circumstances out of a sense of misplaced obligation.

What's more, if you need to work two jobs to pay the rent and the grocery bill, so what? That's the best motivation I know to make you want to earn a better living. Meanwhile in the limbo world of the semi-child, it's quite possible to continue being a barrista for years on end because a cushy home awaits at the end of one's shift at the coffee shop.

Finally, living at home retards your own emotional development. As the permanent child, it's a lot more difficult to being relationships. This past New Years Day, my wife and I were at a coffee shop, discussing this very subject of Failure To Launch issues. Next to us at the counter were three rather cute and vivacious women in their mid- to late-twenties. My wife asked the question, "Would you date a guy who lived with his parents?" The look on their face was one of unanimous disgust. "Ewwww. No way" was the collective reaction.

So it's a far kinder thing for the parent to say, "Okay, Son. You have a job now. It's not a huge salary, but it will pay your rent, car payment and groceries. Time to learn how to live your life."

I love my son with all my heart. If he wanted to stay here and go to a local college (he doesn't) that would be more than fine with me.

But to still be living at home at 27, 28, 29,30? I'll agree that is not healthy for anyone.

Heck, I made next to nothing when I got my first apartment. No, it wasn't i the best neighborhood. Yes, it was someone's garage apartment (2nd floor); but it was MINE and I loved it.

It was my desire to be out on my own that drove me back to college to finish my degree. I hope my son is driven enough to stand on his own two feet as well.

[cpg35223]

Originally Posted by Ringo1

I love my son with all my heart. If he wanted to stay here and go to a local college (he doesn't) that would be more than fine with me.

But to still be living at home at 27, 28, 29,30? I'll agree that is not healthy for anyone.

Heck, I made next to nothing when I got my first apartment. No, it wasn't i the best neighborhood. Yes, it was someone's garage apartment (2nd floor); but it was MINE and I loved it.

It was my desire to be out on my own that drove me back to college to finish my degree. I hope my son is driven enough to stand on his own two feet as well.

Exactly. All that allowing your working child to live at home does is to guarantee their comfort, when sometimes it's more important to instill a sense of drive.

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by cpg35223

Exactly. All that allowing your working child to live at home does is to guarantee their comfort, when sometimes it's more important to instill a sense of drive.

And then sometimes just sometimes letting them stay ensures that they wont end up in poverty and on welfare.
A lot of the people i work with live in aurora where its cheap, but their cars are getting damaged when broken into, i dont have money to fix a window if someine breaks into my car. I act too skiddish in "ghetto" neighborhoods, that right there makes you a target.

[JustJulia]

We lived in a semi-scummy neighborhood when we first got married. I was 22. Within our first year of marriage, my car was totaled (not my fault, someone ran a red light) and his was stolen. It's survivable.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

And then sometimes just sometimes letting them stay ensures that they wont end up in poverty and on welfare.

Do you mean the parent should let the Adult Child live with them so the Adult Child won't end up in poverty and on welfare?

How about the Adult Child actually be an adult and take responsibility for her own life?

Really? The excuse now is Sally has to live at home because otherwise she may end up poor? Or, heaven forbid, she has to live in a place that isn't as nice as Mom and Dad's. Yeah. That's a good excuse to stay in the basement. "I can't possibly live there. It's not up to my standards. They don't have cable, I saw a bug, and the neighbors look a little shady."

[Dave5150]

I think that we are missing a big point, well not all of us. But it has been stated by most on the pro-adults at home people, most of us dont think they should just be big adult teenagers, doing what teenagers wish they could do but with more money and freedom. I think it can and does work as a pseudo roommate scenario, where the adults in the house work together to make the household the best it can be. Just because my 25 year old is living at home, doesnt make them my little child. They are adults in their own right and will pay rent and buy groceries and pay for the extra cable box or whatever. They are essentially renting a room or part of the house. Except I trust them and have a relationship with them

[Lucidkitty]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

Many jobs dont even pay that.
I HAVE to have a roommate to move out, i cant afford it otherwise. I cant find a roommate. Ive been looking ive met up with people, gotten coffee, none of them work out.

None of my friends can roommate either right now.
I want to be completely out, trust me i do but unless tg moves in or i find a roommate, my chances are looking slim. Id love to get a second job but my hours are so weird and i work 12'spretty in the weekend no one is going to work around my schedule.

Have you thought about apartment finder or craigslist? Perhaps a college girl looking for a roommate might work out well for you? http://denver.craigslist.org/roo/

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by JustJulia

We lived in a semi-scummy neighborhood when we first got married. I was 22. Within our first year of marriage, my car was totaled (not my fault, someone ran a red light) and his was stolen. It's survivable.

I have a 201012 essentiallly brand new car...i do not want to lose my car.