Gen Y happy with living with Mom and Dad (have to tell him, chores, smart)

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by malamute

That's one reason I think it's not a good trend.

When you're looking at a scattered "failure to launch" here and there it's one thing but when you have a large number of kids never being able to cut the apron strings and make it on their own, you have too many people content forever with low wages and part time jobs.

It's when people have to support themselves, get jobs that allow them to support themselves that you get a population that expects to be able to support themselves on their wages.

We don't need a majority of forever kids if we're going to keep a middle class standard of living.

I think that when you see a trend over a large portion of the country you have to look past laziness as a cause. There are reasons why young adults are living with their parents longer and it is not because they are content with low wages and part time jobs. It is because low wages and part time jobs are the predominant type of employment that is currently available to them.

When my grandparents came to the US in the early 1930s their famiies all lived in multigenerational homes. They did it because they had to, not because they were lazy. My parents did not want me to move out when I graduated from college at age 21 because I was an unmarried woman and "why should you pay rent when we have this big house that we are already paying for?" They could not understand why a young woman would want to spend money on rent when they had space for us. In their world multi generational homes was the norm. I had a job, paid for my car and insurance and bought groceries every now and then. I got married within a year and moved out. I wanted to move out. I wanted my own life.

However, I was able to make about $30K per year, my husband was making around $40K per year and our mortgage was around $1,000 per year. We were able to use the money we got as wedding/engagement gifts to make the $12K down payment on our first apartment.

Young people aren't doing that because their employment situation is not permitting it, not because they are lazy. Of course there are SOME lazy folks out there, but they are not the predominant type of person.

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

And if you lived alone there would be no one to check in with, so what does it matter?

Wow. Manners, courtesy, attention and care to others, perhaps.

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

Because they didn't have the "right" to call the police before?

Forget it. You're right. Everyone is out to try to control you. No one is just concerned. And you shouldn't have to be concerned about anyone else either.

I agree with your assessment. She has some kind of chip on her shoulder.

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

I agree with your assessment. She has some kind of chip on her shoulder.

Yes and heaven forbid, her or someone who feels exactly the same way, find themselves held captive for several days before being snuffed out by some psychopath they met at a party....or who followed them to their car, right. Trapped in a room, waiting for the end to come.....as she thinks, "No one even knows I'm missing. No one is ever going to look for me, because I've made my whereabouts nobody's business." Oh hey, but it's a plausible excuse for having no manners, right? "I don't have to answer to anyone. I don't have to be polite or considerate to anyone unless they're paying me for it. I'd rather DIE than be polite."

[tamajane]

Originally Posted by DewDropInn

I was a Boomer who hung out with hippies.

I left a note. Guess that made me all uptight and uncool. Guess the man had laid a major trip on my brain.

LOL. Well I've left notes or made calls too but my cool roommates wouldn't have an APB out on me if I hadn't. My paranoid roommate wanted to know where I was at all times and who I was with - she had issues. But I learned from that, which is what you do when forced to deal with different people and situations when you live away from home.

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by beachmel

Yes and heaven forbid, her or someone who feels exactly the same way, find themselves held captive for several days before being snuffed out by some psychopath they met at a party....or who followed them to their car, right. Trapped in a room, waiting for the end to come.....as she thinks, "No one even knows I'm missing. No one is ever going to look for me, because I've made my whereabouts nobody's business." Oh hey, but it's a plausible excuse for having no manners, right? "I don't have to answer to anyone. I don't have to be polite or considerate to anyone unless they're paying me for it. I'd rather DIE than be polite."

I dont go out for these things to happen.
My mom amd grandmother both know that if i am not at work, then i am with tg, if i am not with tg then its night time and im in bed at my moms. I don't go out anymore, i am very predictable.

[DewDropInn]

Originally Posted by tamajane

LOL. Well I've left notes or made calls too but my cool roommates wouldn't have an APB out on me if I hadn't. My paranoid roommate wanted to know where I was at all times and who I was with - she had issues.

Your roomie sounds heavy.

(Is this where we play the music from Hair?)

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by txtqueen

I dont go out for these things to happen.
My mom amd grandmother both know that if i am not at work, then i am with tg, if i am not with tg then its night time and im in bed at my moms. I don't go out anymore, i am very predictable.

Txt, we don't agree on much, but I'd still be heartbroken if anything awful happened to you, or anyone else. It's not a matter of feeling as if someone expects you to be answerable for your whereabouts, it's a simple matter of being cautious, as well as considerate. Why cause needless stress and anxiety to someone, when it's simple to avoid? If you and TG moved in together, even if you were only sharing rent, he left for work one day and you didn't hear one word from him for several days...you and I both know that you'd be FREAKING OUT!

First, you'd probably try to rationalize things, "Oh, maybe he just went to hang out with a friend. Oh, maybe his phone is dead." Then you'd probably head for the anger mode, "He could use someone else's phone to let me know where he is damn it!" After 24 hrs, you'd be thinking of who you could call to find out where he was.....then you'd be calling. What then? What if no one had heard from him? What if he turned up 3 days later....didn't think it was a big deal, because after all, you'd put it out there that you didn't think roommates "needed" to be accountable for where they were going.

It's just common courtesy girl....it's the right thing to do. It's what you'd appreciate someone doing for you......and it's a precaution. Predictablity is a really good thing....but again, predictablity, can also make you more vulnerable. It's just best to always let a trusted source know where you're at and where you're going.

[Dave5150]

Originally Posted by redvelvet709

28? Come now, seriously. Personal accountability needs to start way before that!

Yes 28. I didnt say there was no accountability. Im not talking about a romantic comedy here where Joe lives in moms basement on the computer. Im talking about a college student or post college single person living at home. Working a sub-par job, saving money, paying personal bills (phone, car, car insurance, groceries, and perhaps rent depending on the situation) and preparing for their future. If my son doesnt get married until he is 30, then fine, as long as he is actually doing something, he absolutely can live at home. If he is in med school or law school or even just graduate school and is living at home at 28, fine. Every situation is different.

[passwithoutatrace]

Not all Gen Yers are happy living with their parents. I've been self-sufficient since I graduated college at 21 (now 26), although my parents would allow me to move back with them if I wanted.

At the same time, a couple of my co-workers still live with parents. They make enough money to move out if they wanted to, but they are saving money for a house and their parents don't mind the company. None of my peers live with their parents because they sit at home playing video games or party all the time.