Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-24-2012, 01:19 PM
 
1,500 posts, read 2,901,442 times
Reputation: 3608

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamishra View Post
There is no legal age in NC. Fire code says 8.
This.

But if you have a concern about a child you know being left alone, report it to child protective services. Just because fire code says 8, the state will still intervene if they feel the child is not mature, is left alone for too long or is left in an unsafe situation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-24-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
10,728 posts, read 22,822,690 times
Reputation: 12325
Wow, I didn't realize there was a "legal age", but I guess 8 is about right, for specific times (short duration, in the daytime, with a neighbor home that the child can go to if needed).

It was in the dark ages, but I remember my mother working part-time when I was in 1st grade (age 6) and I'd be home for a couple of hours when I got home from school maybe one day a week, but it was always daylight, and we knew everybody on our street if there'd been a problem (and where she worked was only 10-15 mins away). Most of the time I'd just go to a friend's house next door, which I probably would have done anyway, whether she was home or not.

But, I know times have changed.

OP, if it's just "running to the store" or taking a quick jog, does your child have a friend on the street s/he could go play with for that short time? That kid's mother would probably welcome a chance to do the same thing and leave their child with you for a few minutes sometime.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-25-2012, 02:33 PM
 
6,297 posts, read 16,094,205 times
Reputation: 4846
I raised two extremely independent kids, but I'm shocked anyone would leave an 8- or 9-year-old for more than 20 minutes or so.

Age 11 or 12 seem to be more inappropriate.

And "old enough to have a phone" can mean anyone ove can identify numbers and has indulgent parents.

I used to babysit hordes of kids at one time when I was 11 or 12. But sometimes even at age 12, a couple would hire me to stay with their 9-year-old who didn't want to be alone.

I find it sad so many kids are left alone at those young ages. And leaving sleeping kids alone? OMG. Never.


Quote:
Originally Posted by twingles View Post
If she's old enough to have a phone she's old enough to be left...IMHO - but in honesty it really depends on the child. There are state laws in some (many) states about when it's actually legal.

I've been leaving my 11 year olds alone for about 2 years, for about an hour at a time. One is very trustworthy. The other not so much....and he really doesn't like being left alone. I try to keep it really brief if for some reason he needs to be left totally alone.

The only thing that would worry me about leaving a sleeping child is their inability to wake up for a fire alarm. All 3 of my kids have slept thru absolutely blaring fire alarms. The last time I had to have the FD come and I told them my daughter could not be roused and they said it's a very common occurrence with kids and that the best fire alarms for kids are the ones that say "FIRE! WAKE UP NOW!" which we obviously don't have.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-25-2012, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
25,116 posts, read 16,209,782 times
Reputation: 14408
Quote:
Originally Posted by yellowbelle View Post
This.

But if you have a concern about a child you know being left alone, report it to child protective services. Just because fire code says 8, the state will still intervene if they feel the child is not mature, is left alone for too long or is left in an unsafe situation.
how about talking to the parent about your concern first.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-25-2012, 05:43 PM
 
4,598 posts, read 10,153,603 times
Reputation: 2523
By the time I was eight I would be home alone with my little sister until my parents got home from work. Thankfully for my parents I was a goodie two-shoes and would rather drop dead than do anything that would get me in trouble while they were gone lol.

Last edited by evaofnc; 03-25-2012 at 05:44 PM.. Reason: e
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2012, 12:03 AM
 
Location: My House
34,938 posts, read 36,249,994 times
Reputation: 26552
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebrentwood View Post
I raised two extremely independent kids, but I'm shocked anyone would leave an 8- or 9-year-old for more than 20 minutes or so.

Age 11 or 12 seem to be more inappropriate.

And "old enough to have a phone" can mean anyone ove can identify numbers and has indulgent parents.

I used to babysit hordes of kids at one time when I was 11 or 12. But sometimes even at age 12, a couple would hire me to stay with their 9-year-old who didn't want to be alone.

I find it sad so many kids are left alone at those young ages. And leaving sleeping kids alone? OMG. Never.
I started leaving my eldest at home alone for 15-30 minutes (trip to the store to grab a couple of things) when he was 9. I was testing to see how he handled being alone, yanno?

This wasn't an issue with my younger two as my eldest is 7 years older than my middle kid and 10 older than my youngest.

He has proven to be a complete mother hen of a sitter. He lives at home still at 21 and his doing the work/college thing. I don't mind. He even pays a wee bit of rent because it makes him feel better about living at home.

Good kid, my eldest.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2012, 08:46 AM
 
Location: NC
2,023 posts, read 3,239,081 times
Reputation: 3203
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovebrentwood View Post
I raised two extremely independent kids, but I'm shocked anyone would leave an 8- or 9-year-old for more than 20 minutes or so.

Age 11 or 12 seem to be more inappropriate.

And "old enough to have a phone" can mean anyone ove can identify numbers and has indulgent parents.

I used to babysit hordes of kids at one time when I was 11 or 12. But sometimes even at age 12, a couple would hire me to stay with their 9-year-old who didn't want to be alone.

I find it sad so many kids are left alone at those young ages. And leaving sleeping kids alone? OMG. Never.
I have a nine year old. I have never and would never leave him home alone. What if he's sleeping and the house catches on fire or if a crook tries to kidnap him or worse?!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2012, 08:50 AM
 
4,598 posts, read 10,153,603 times
Reputation: 2523
If everyone operated on "what ifs" nothing would ever get accomplished in this world.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2012, 09:14 AM
 
Location: My House
34,938 posts, read 36,249,994 times
Reputation: 26552
Quote:
Originally Posted by escapenc View Post
I have a nine year old. I have never and would never leave him home alone. What if he's sleeping and the house catches on fire or if a crook tries to kidnap him or worse?!
I've never met a 9yo that would doze off in the middle of the day while left home while a parent runs down to the post office or out to grab a gallon of milk.

As for the team of ninjas showing up in that 15-20 minute span of daylight? Equally unlikely. Kids have to learn to take care of themselves while home alone.

It's not like they turn 13 and magically become qualified.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2012, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, NC, formerly NoVA and Phila
9,777 posts, read 15,786,780 times
Reputation: 10886
I've left my 8-year old plenty of times for short periods of time. It started out that she was home sick from school one day. It was winter time and freezing cold. I had to pick up her sister at preschool.

My choice was to leave my daughter (who was feeling fine, btw, but had a fever the night before) warm in her bed for 10 minutes or bundle her up, make her get in the car and then walk with me across the parking lot to get my kid from school or let her sit in her warm bed with the phone by her side so she could call me if there were a problem.

I weighed the risks. And I concluded that she'd be safer and healthier at home by herself than taking her out in the bitter cold while recuperating from a sickness.

What I did was hand her the cordless phone. I dialed my cell phone number into it. Then told her she just had to click "redial" if she needed me. School was only 1 mile from my house and across no major roads.

From that time on, we have gradually let her stay home alone for longer periods. She is now 10 years old. She always has the cordless phone next to her. She knows not to let anyone in the house FOR ANY REASON. She knows to call if she has any trouble. She's a responsible kid.

I actually think leaving my kid at home in a locked house with a phone is a lot safer than what I see in my neighborhood - kids allowed to roam the streets on their bikes at age 7. Kids walking 15-20 minutes to school by themselves. To me, there is alot more danger in that - don't know if the kids have cell phones on them or not. But then again, at some point you've got to let go.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:56 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top