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Old 04-02-2012, 09:40 AM
 
6,981 posts, read 16,635,585 times
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Do you tell him to "stop" when he rubs his nose? Or pulls his ear lobe? Of course you don't.

He's too young to understand why he can't do it if it feels good. He may be doing it to aggrevate Mommie,, or to see what all the fuss is about.

This is a boy thing. They do it. If they didn't, then you might really have something to fret about.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
Reputation: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Maybe if you could rig something up so that you can give him a mild electrical shock whenever you see him doing this outside of his room.

Just kidding.

And Finster is right, girls do it, too. Not long ago I remembered my daughter at about three, on the couch, her pants down, legs in the air, and yelling "Look, Mommy, my whole finger disappeared!" Luckily, I remembered this touching moment (pun intended) when she was hanging out with a bunch of her childhood friends all home from college. They LOVED hearing the story. My daughter, not so much.
I dont think that electrical shocks are quite what im going for.

But that story is hilarious.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Rockwall
675 posts, read 744,212 times
Reputation: 1075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
Ill talk to my husband about this, but this sounds like a good plan. I really do try and get him to understand most of the time why I tell him to do the things I do or not to do the things. But It isnt always realistic and sometimes when he falls off the couch I say thats why I said not to. But I think in this situation, all else has failed so now there have got to be no more asking or explaining. Just do what I told you to do, touch it alone or dont touch it at all.
Just a word a caution from someone with 6 kids,,, if you're not careful you may exhaust yourself mentally with trying to explain the 'why's and reasons' behind behavior expectations.

KISS - keep it short and simple. =)

Something that can hurt them : 'No - that's dangerous.' 'No - that's not safe'

Putting hands or mouth on something that's dirty/unsanitary 'No- that's not clean'

When they're being rude or mean 'No- that's not nice'

And notice good appropriate behavior with a quick affirmation 'Thank you for holding my hand in the parking lot'
'Great job sharing your toys today'

He'll make the connection between right/wrong behavior and remember this because he's learning it himself not because you're telling him.

Best wishes

~l~
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
Reputation: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
Do you tell him to "stop" when he rubs his nose? Or pulls his ear lobe? Of course you don't.

He's too young to understand why he can't do it if it feels good. He may be doing it to aggrevate Mommie,, or to see what all the fuss is about.

This is a boy thing. They do it. If they didn't, then you might really have something to fret about.
No but I do tell him not to pick his nose, if he has a itch or something, get a tissue. I do tell him not to stick his fingers in his ears. If they are dirty then get a q-tip and we will clean them. I do tell him not to rub his penis in public, if you need to go to the bathroom, then go.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:43 AM
 
Location: hunt valley
6,314 posts, read 2,845,439 times
Reputation: 2896
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Maybe if you could rig something up so that you can give him a mild electrical shock whenever you see him doing this outside of his room.

Just kidding.

And Finster is right, girls do it, too. Not long ago I remembered my daughter at about three, on the couch, her pants down, legs in the air, and yelling "Look, Mommy, my whole finger disappeared!" Luckily, I remembered this touching moment (pun intended) when she was hanging out with a bunch of her childhood friends all home from college. They LOVED hearing the story. My daughter, not so much.
Yep lol all people do it once they discover that area.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Jersey
870 posts, read 690,362 times
Reputation: 862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly8 View Post
Just a word a caution from someone with 6 kids,,, if you're not careful you may exhaust yourself mentally with trying to explain the 'why's and reasons' behind behavior expectations.

KISS - keep it short and simple. =)

Something that can hurt them : 'No - that's dangerous.' 'No - that's not safe'

Putting hands or mouth on something that's dirty/unsanitary 'No- that's not clean'

When they're being rude or mean 'No- that's not nice'

And notice good appropriate behavior with a quick affirmation 'Thank you for holding my hand in the parking lot'
'Great job sharing your toys today'

He'll make the connection between right/wrong behavior and remember this because he's learning it himself not because you're telling him.

Best wishes

~l~
Congrats on that family!! 1 is exhausting me! ^ is pretty much what I do. Dont jump on the couch- we have neighbors downstairs or you will get hurt. Im trying to teach him to be careful and be mindful and respectful of those around him. I try and keep it simple usually but I do at least give him a reason. Because there is a reason, not just because I like to hear myself talk.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:48 AM
 
5,983 posts, read 2,980,980 times
Reputation: 7225
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave5150 View Post
Yes all young boys do it. And if i walk down the hallway and see him doing it I dont tell him not too. But at story time? At the grocery store? In front of me in the bathtub? You are darn right I am telling him to stop. And its not controlling to teach my child manners. If noones mommy told them to stop touching their penis' I have no doubt there would be grown men touching themselves in public, more than there is. The problem is telling him to do it when he is alone DOESNT WORK. He doesnt care if I see him. Last week in the tub he was playing with it while spraying it with the sprayer thing in the shower while I was washing his hair. On no planet is that appropriate behavior.
On Planet Four Year Old it is. Just think about it for a minute, you've dressed him, wiped his butt, cleaned his body - why on earth would he think what he's doing is not okay?

You just need to reinforce it calmly until he gets it. He'll get it, but at the moment it's an obtuse and weird concept, that it's not okay to touch his manly bits in front of Mommy, when Mommy has been handling them his whole life.

Nobody's saying you shouldn't teach him manners, but put yourself in his shoes for a minute. It's awfully confusing.

It's like with babies when we encourage them to burp and fart and whatnot, until suddenly we don't, because we deem it inappropriate.

He'll get it, and his pre k teachers will gently reinforce it too. But if you overreact you're in danger of giving him some weird hang ups for later, IMO.
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:51 AM
 
27,924 posts, read 22,116,808 times
Reputation: 25657
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
On Planet Four Year Old it is. Just think about it for a minute, you've dressed him, wiped his butt, cleaned his body - why on earth would he think what he's doing is not okay?

You just need to reinforce it calmly until he gets it. He'll get it, but at the moment it's an obtuse and weird concept, that it's not okay to touch his manly bits in front of Mommy, when Mommy has been handling them his whole life.

Nobody's saying you shouldn't teach him manners, but put yourself in his shoes for a minute. It's awfully confusing.

It's like with babies when we encourage them to burp and fart and whatnot, until suddenly we don't, because we deem it inappropriate.
Hmm, never thought about that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
He'll get it, and his pre k teachers will gently reinforce it too. But if you overreact you're in danger of giving him some weird hang ups for later, IMO.
I picture this kid growing up and wanting his girlfriends to wash his hair while he sits in a tub with a sprayer thing...
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,267 posts, read 19,330,844 times
Reputation: 29908
Mightyqueen's "touching story" ... haha, I almost choked on my coffee!

Dave, if your boy is in his room as you asked him to be, maybe he can shut the door when he wants privacy and you can agree to knock? And if he can't shut the door the least he can do is listen for people approaching in the hallway. I like the "No, that's private. Go to your room please" approach, and you can modify it to "No, we don't do that in front of others." Mom's walking down the hall and your door is open? Now you're in front of others. Shut the door!
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:53 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,267 posts, read 19,330,844 times
Reputation: 29908
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
On Planet Four Year Old it is. Just think about it for a minute, you've dressed him, wiped his butt, cleaned his body - why on earth would he think what he's doing is not okay?

You just need to reinforce it calmly until he gets it. He'll get it, but at the moment it's an obtuse and weird concept, that it's not okay to touch his manly bits in front of Mommy, when Mommy has been handling them his whole life.

Nobody's saying you shouldn't teach him manners, but put yourself in his shoes for a minute. It's awfully confusing.

It's like with babies when we encourage them to burp and fart and whatnot, until suddenly we don't, because we deem it inappropriate.

He'll get it, and his pre k teachers will gently reinforce it too. But if you overreact you're in danger of giving him some weird hang ups for later, IMO.
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